4 ways that will get it back
“I don’t understand why take a break in the relationship. Personally, my relationship is based on this principle: when I am next to the woman I love, I feel good. To deliberately limit communication with her is equal to the fact that I myself go to a state that is more uncomfortable for myself. “
These are the words of my friend, a man who has been married for a long time and has a happy strong family. We talked to him about how sometimes men, being in a relationship, deliberately disappear for a certain period of time from a woman’s field of vision.
However, not all representatives of the stronger sex share this position.
Sometimes, under the influence of any difficult situation, a man decides to take a break and not see his beloved woman. Probably, he has a crisis in his life, he needs a reboot and the opportunity to be alone. Unlike my friend, many men practice this today and prefer not to explain anything to anyone if they start a game of “silence”.
What should a woman do (and not do)?
I, Julia Lanske, love-coach number 1 in the world in 2019 according to the recognition of the international iDate Awards, I want to talk with you about how to act competently and wisely in a situation when a man, for example, put your relationship in a mode for a week expectations. You will get acquainted with the main mistakes women make in such situations, as well as with 4 phrases that will make a man “start up” and … come back!
A paused love melody
Oftentimes, pauses in a relationship are clear signs of problems. However, things can get back on track if both partners make good use of this break. It is important to note that the understanding of a pause is different for men and women. In addition, men are more likely to withdraw “into themselves” than women – and this needs to be learned to accept without breaking the bank and not letting the man go because of a misunderstanding of his actions.
Why are there pauses in relationships?
Our life does not always go according to the calendar. Like a cardiogram or biorhythm chart, relationships also have ups and downs – and that’s completely normal. Perhaps during one of the recessions, a man wants to be alone with himself, to use his personal space and close questions in other areas of life. For example, he devotes time to sports, business, socializing with friends – whatever, just to feel that his life is dynamic and he is still on top.
And while he is in the process of diversifying his everyday life, the worst thing you can do is try to pull him out of this male freedom by hook or by crook, constantly bombarding him with questions, whining and imposing yourself. This will make him feel pressured, and it’s logical that he will step away step by step even harder.
In general, the correct pause is useful not only for him, but also for you, so as not to get into adduction from each other. A week apart will not hurt, and sometimes it will be very useful.
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As strange as it may sound, in such a break, you can find a lot of advantages.
- Separation makes you bored. In an unequal battle between the brain and the heart, the latter, as a rule, wins. But this is provided that the pause does not stretch for an indefinite, long period.
- The truth of intentions and the strength of feelings are checked – you get the opportunity to analyze in which direction your relationship is moving.
- Tone for relationships – when no new events happen, you rely only on what was already between you
- Reassessment of actions – you have enough time to think about steps to strengthen relations, strategies for their development, as well as search for their weak points.
- Subsidence of the negative – in separation, one way or another, feelings of anger, resentment and disappointment from a partner cool down.
- Respite – as in a long journey, a pause in a relationship helps to recover, take a breath, accumulate energy and move on safely.
Alone with yourself, both a man and you, it is easier to find qualities and feelings in a relationship that are invisible when you are next to each other. However, do not get carried away: when there are too many pauses, they are long and frequent – you need to sound the alarm.
Let’s take a funny comparison: a hole appeared in the socks. When there are one or two of them, you can darn discreetly and carry on. But when the sock turns into a sieve, there is no point in patching it up endlessly.
In addition, a man’s frequent intentions to take a break can signal that he is comfortable without you, and he rushes between feelings and a keen desire to live for himself. Most likely, his views in your direction are not serious, and he plans to get rid of the relationship, like from a darned sock.
Your own enemy
To prevent this from happening, and the man clearly realized how bad he is without you, your actions should not cause rejection in him. It’s time to talk about common mistakes women make during an unplanned break in a relationship.
- Started to saw: Where are you, why don’t you call, who are you with, when you come back, why didn’t you warn me?
- Screwed myself up: he doesn’t love me anymore, something happened to him, he won’t come back, he left for another
- Pays in the same coin: oh you like that? It means that I will do so too – get it!
- Took the role of the mistress of the relationship: You belong to me now, but come back, try it again, I’ll show you!
- Pause-provocation check failed: the case when a man deliberately takes a break to see how a woman will react: she will ring / throw messages or give him freedom, try to maintain a relationship, or coldly let go of the situation. And it would be better for you to somehow prove yourself, so that the man appreciates it. How to do this – we will leave this question for dessert.
“Knock Knock! It’s me, darling! “
Let’s say your man is missing. How to behave wisely so as not to miss it, but also not to cause rejection with your “good intentions”?
- Get away from obsession and nervousness… As I said, persistent interference during the hibernation of a relationship can wake up the angry grizzly in the kindest bear. Do not pull the blanket over yourself and do not force it to return to the previous course of the relationship.
- Take care of yourself… Take a moment and start spring cleaning in your life. Visit beauty salons, develop, read, devote time, for example, to the study of male psychology – this will allow you to air your mind and accumulate new fresh ideas that are useful for yourself and for progress in relationships.
- Show yourself delicately… As you remember, coldness to the “disappearance” of a man from the radar can be perceived by him as indifference to his feelings. Remind yourself of yourself without expressing your feelings assertively. Here’s how to do it.
Looking ahead, I will clarify that 4 ways to influence a man during a pause, which I will give you, you need to try, not dwelling on just one. That is, if you used only the first or third, but there was no reaction to this, do not rush to cut from the shoulder and put an end to the relationship. Try two or three for a week.
If a man responded, this is a good sign, and the relationship will be. But if you tried all four, and in response to silence, then, most likely, this is not a comma, but a bold period. Accept this with gratitude for the experience and – forward in search of female happiness.
So, in what subtle ways you can reach a man’s heart and mind during a break:
- Easy sms reminder: “Hey! Call me after 5 “. A successful outcome in any of his responses, even if he says that he will not call back at this particular time, but, say, after 7 or when he is free. Unsuccessful – when he does not react to it in any way and does not call.
- Message “Didn’t something interesting / unexpected happen?” Agree, this is a much softer attempt to find out what is happening in a man’s life than: “Hello! Where’re you gone?” “What’s happened? What’s happening?”… In this case, he will be more willing to answer you than to a message with an annoying tone.
- Hook phrases. They should encourage his feelings and sensations to wake up and leave little chance to ignore the message. For example: “It’s nice to be awakened by your gentle voice”… Or “Winter seems to have passed, but hibernation continues. When will my strong bear wake up? “ Or something like: “Today I baked a pie – the smell alone drives me crazy. I want to invite you: it is so delicious that it won’t wait long “… If the format of your relationship still does not allow inviting to you, let us know that fabulous cheesecakes are baked in such and such a cafe and you have long dreamed of trying them for breakfast in the company of this man.
- Call a friend… This method is appropriate when you are already introduced to the man’s circle of friends and have the opportunity to contact one of them. “Hey! Something I can’t get through to Seryozha / Andrey / Sasha. Can you tell me if everything is fine with him, otherwise I’m worried. “ Rest assured, a friend will not keep you waiting long and will inform your man about this call. Another option for such communication is that you tell your man: “Hey! My friends invited you and me to an event / event, meeting and asked to confirm our presence. Will you be able to join? “
It’s always sunny after the rain
A pause in a relationship is like a roller coaster ride after the peak of the track. You are flying down, your insides are compressed, and you so want everything to stop as soon as possible. But soon you slow down and return to calmness. You are alive and everything is fine.
The main thing – do not unfasten your seat belt and do not jump from the attraction in horror.
Unfortunately, our life is not a melody that can be rewound and listened to ecstatic over and over again. Still, you can wisely use the invisible Pause button to rethink your relationship with a man. Especially if he pressed it first.
Sometimes couples who know how to take advantage of the break in their relationship become the happiest partners. You can learn it too. Take this as a gift, remain a worthy woman and do not lose heart. Even if the pause turns out to be a Stop button, don’t despair. It can also be a sign of the beginning of a new, more successful and happier page in your personal life.
In any outcome of events, I will always be glad to tell you what and how to do in order to remain the winner. Join the number of my subscribers on social networks and stay in touch!
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