I have been in close contact with almost all of my friends since school, only a couple joined our company already in adulthood. The girls and I definitely meet once every three months to share our problems and successes.
Each of us has had children for a long time, some even have 2-3, only one Lyudmila by our age has not yet had a child. We didn’t bother her with tactless questions and didn’t allow ourselves comments like “The clock is ticking”…
And at the next gatherings, Luda shared with us that she was already 6 weeks pregnant. To be honest, we even forgot about tact out of surprise. Questions kept pouring in:
- “It’s not too late, are you already 40?”
- “Are you not afraid, doctors say that it is dangerous to give birth at that age?”
- “And if the child is ashamed of you?”
Luda, surprisingly, did not take offense at us, but even laughed and said: “You can’t even imagine how many advantages there are in my late motherhood!”
1. Psychological readiness
A woman who decides to give birth to a child at the age of 35+ is fully aware of the responsibility that will fall on her after his appearance. This, of course, does not mean at all that younger mothers have completely “wind in their heads”.
But usually they have little idea how drastically their life will change after the birth of the child. In contrast, women from 35 years old are more emotionally mature, therefore, they are often psychologically more ready for the inevitable changes.
In addition, “age” mothers usually have already enjoyed their free life in full. After all, they could absolutely freely build a career, travel, go to parties, without experiencing the pangs of conscience that they do not give their child warmth.
It is noted that most mature mothers try to take care of their child on their own, without resorting to outside help (grandmothers, nannies, etc.). Anticipating your outrage, I will say right away that there are 35+ women among women who are “notorious” careerists who give birth to a child “for show”.
But there are so few of them that this is just an exception that proves the rule. Most still take this step in order to experience the joy of motherhood, albeit late.
2. Financial viability
This advantage of late motherhood is inextricably linked to the previous one. Since the woman first devoted herself to work and building a career, it is logical to assume that she still achieved some heights. This means that she has a solid material base.
Increasingly, modern women are approaching the future replenishment in the family rationally. Many deliberately begin to save money for maternity leave in advance. Even those who have a caring and well-earning husband.
Who among us has not heard this phrase: “A woman should give birth to a child only when she is sure that she can provide it on her own!” A hard-working husband is, of course, very good. But men can be so fickle. So, as they say, you never know what.
3. Responsible approach to pregnancy
Gynecologists say that the physiologically most suitable age for the birth of children is 21-28 years. It is at this age that the lowest percentage of the risk of developing various pathologies in the fetus.
But the same doctors note that expectant mothers 35+ are more responsible in the process of carrying a child. They:
- get registered in a antenatal clinic in a timely manner;
- take all drugs prescribed by a doctor;
- they pass the necessary examinations and tests on time.
After the baby is born, they also strictly follow all the recommendations of the pediatrician.
In addition, according to recent studies, it was revealed that it is young mothers who are most often susceptible to postpartum depression. In mature women, such cases are practically not observed.
4. Late motherhood – new life
Ask any mom who decides to have a baby in adulthood how it affected her. And you will hear that her “Life sparkled with new colors”, she has “The second wind has opened”, “everything that was before, it turns out, is not the main thing” etc.
A mother of 35+, especially if she gave birth to her first child, the child evokes only positive emotions, despite the different “delights” of motherhood – sleepless nights, colic, teeth and more. She treats all difficulties in a philosophical way, since she is morally ready for them.
5. Return of youth
Did you know that late motherhood, in addition to various emotional “buns”, also gives women health? I will make a reservation right away that this, of course, does not apply to chronic and congenital ailments in a woman.
Numerous studies have shown that hormonal changes during pregnancy in a mature woman have a number of positive effects on her body. Such as:
- increased libido;
- acceleration of cell renewal;
- reducing the risk of developing hypertension;
- increased bone strength;
- an increase in the elasticity of muscle tissue.
Many mature mothers report that they look and feel much better after having a baby.
Of course, there are also disadvantages to late motherhood, but with proper planning of pregnancy and following the doctor’s recommendations, they can be completely excluded.
Lyudmila told us for a long time about the advantages of her late motherhood, but I have identified for you, in my opinion, the main ones. And you know, in many ways we agreed with her.
Late motherhood from the point of view of psychologist Valentina Snegova
- Proceeding from the fact that the woman is already experienced in all spheres and it is unlikely that someone forced her to give birth, we assume that the late child is desired and planned. This means that the baby will receive more attention and love, healthier psycho-emotional development and faster intellectual development.
- By the age of 40, parents have already made a career, accumulated material wealth, received an education, therefore, adult mothers and fathers have more resources to invest in the physical and intellectual development of the baby.
- For the same reason, it is easier for a family to deal with the costs of caring for an infant, and the quality of life of such a baby is higher. In an older family, as a rule, there are fewer domestic quarrels, more opportunities to compensate for new loads, for example, by attracting helping specialists and buying modern technology. Such a married couple is stronger.
- After 40 years, parents have already gone through partners, all possible personal crises have passed. This is exactly the case when mindful parenting strengthens a marriage. And the child has great chances to grow up in a complete family.
- Having given birth to the desired child, you earn more. Energetically, children are our battery, our resource. All that is required of them is to please the parent. If you love your children, and they love you, then this is a harmonious energetic symbiosis, where a child gives additional energy, and adults, spending it, get more benefits and opportunities from life. Children stimulate their parents to succeed and achieve, these are the so-called family people (“I don’t need much”, “I will do everything for my children” – their frequent phrases).
- You are extending your life! Responsibly approaching a new role, people rebuild their lives and reorient it to the family. They begin to take care of their health, give up bad habits, change their social circle.
In the process of preparing homework, they begin to retrain the brain, which is the best prevention of dementia! You become necessary and responsible for someone! And when the children grow up, the grandchildren will go …
Do not listen to anyone’s advice and opinions regarding your future! The criterion that determines the health and success of the baby is desirability! After all, what his relatives think of him is laid down in the unconscious even in the prenatal! If you want a child – give birth!
And what has brought you the decision to give birth to a child at a sufficient “adult” age?
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