As sad as it is to realize this, but almost every one of us at some time in our life said to ourselves or out loud the fatal phrase “it seems that love has passed.” Why is this happening? What happens to people who were madly in love with each other? Where do feelings, emotions go? Why is the person whom we loved until recently for every shortcoming of him now annoys us even with his merits? And is this really the end? Maybe you just need time to put everything in its place?
Let’s try to understand this difficult question – how to understand that love has passed. Bologny’s editors will tell you when to think about ending a relationship.
Read: How to bring passion back into a spouse’s relationship.
5 sure signs that love is gone
What are the main signs that love has passed?
- Feelings of loneliness.
You seem to be also together, but you feel that you are alone. You have your girlfriends whom you meet after work for a cup of coffee. He has his friends, with whom he has a wonderful time. Each of you has your own interests. And the point is not even that each of the couple is passionate about some of their own affairs, but that the other partner is absolutely not interested in what. The time has passed when you could not wait for the evening to see your beloved as soon as possible and discuss the latest news with him over a delicious dinner. Now, even when you are at home together, each of you is busy with your own business. You can sit for hours each at his computer and not exchange a single word for the whole evening. As if everyone has their own life, and it seems unnatural to let a loved one into it. You are now much more comfortable being alone. Or away. Or anywhere. But not with him. And you understand that you are uncomfortable together, there is nothing to talk about and you do not see this person in your plans for the future.
Cheating is not always a sign that a relationship is finally over. It so happens that the changed partner sincerely regrets his actions and the betrayal is purely physical in nature. Of course, this is also one of the most powerful tests in a relationship, but if there is true love, then it will overcome betrayal. But when the relationship ends, the fact of infidelity is perceived in a completely different way. We are looking for on the side not a temporary hobby, but a full-fledged replacement for an existing partner. Having a clear understanding of what does not suit us, we do not try to come to terms with it, try to change a person and change ourselves, or make compromises. We just don’t want that. A much simpler and more correct way out of the situation seems to us to be a new relationship with someone else. See also: So why do men have mistresses?
- Reproaches and dissatisfaction with each other.
You can understand that the relationship has outlived its usefulness in the same way as you communicate with your partner and solve some everyday problems. If earlier it was absolutely all the same to you that your beloved drank kefir from a coffee cup and it was not difficult to wash it, now it is turning into a catastrophe on a global scale. Everything that he does irritates you, and everything in you irritates him. The socks forgotten by him on the back of the chair will certainly lead to mutual reproaches and a showdown. Uncleaned crumbs from the table will cause in your second half a whole range of negative emotions, which he will not fail to voice to you right there. Any little thing causes negativity on both sides, which every day only grows and takes on such forms that you physically feel that it is unbearable to stay in the same territory with this person.
- Scandals, mutual humiliation, disrespect.
Of course, we can say that some live in such conditions for years, believing that this gives a certain peppercorn to the relationship, or for other reasons. But this is not our case. After all, we are now trying to figure out for ourselves how to understand that love has passed. And where there was love, it is unlikely, there was a place for humiliation and constant scandals. But suddenly you began to notice that the discussion of any seemingly most primitive issue turns into a stormy showdown with mutual reproaches and insults. One can feel the unconcealed hatred for each other, which one does not even want to hide. Loss of respect is also a sure sign when a relationship ends. Loved people cease to seem somehow special and unique. Every act is criticized, and some of the partner’s achievements are perceived as an insignificant trifle. Read: Things to never tell your husband to avoid ruining your relationship.
- Lack of intimacy.
Intimacy is one of the most important moments in a harmonious relationship between two loving people. When the relationship ends, often together with spiritual closeness, the physical attraction of people to each other ends. Sharing a bed every day with a person who inevitably becomes a stranger is unbearable. If you notice that the tactile contact between you is fading away, that sex is becoming almost a mandatory obligation for your partner, then this is also one of the sure signs that love is gone.
Each pair there may be crises, confusing which with the end of the relationship would be a fatal mistake for both parties. Unfortunately, it is impossible to revive a dead love. Therefore, you need to understand that life goes on, and a new, even happier, love can lie in wait for you at any turn… And about what is gone, you need to preserve the best and kindest memories that will evoke warm, albeit forgotten, feelings in your soul.
How to understand that love has passed – 4 signs from family psychologist Olga Tsarenko
Love is a deep feeling. Do not confuse it with falling in love!
Often we are in a relationship, realizing that everything is not as we would like, but we write it off as grinding and everyday issues. Justifying this by the fact that this is probably the case with everyone, the passion subsides and a more even relationship remains. And it’s one thing when you swear constantly. But it so happens that everything is smooth – no quarrels, no emotions.
So what are the signs of the end of love?
- You are not anxious to spend time together. When you prefer to completely occupy your free time with your interests, not including your once beloved partner there.
- You do not seek to take an interest in your partner’s affairs. It’s not about the banal “How are you?” at the end of the day, and a sincere interest in the life of a partner.
- You start to get annoyed with things that you have not noticed before.
- You don’t want to improve the relationship.
Love is the work of two people who build a bridge to each other, all the time! This is openness, passion, support, respect and understanding for each other. It is also important that love, if there was any, can be returned. The main thing to remember is that in building a relationship it is important to look in one direction, and not try to pull the blanket over yourself.
Must share this useful content with your loved one's
Visit Bologny for more useful and informative articles!