Psychologists have long found out that each of us carries several subpersonalities, i.e. follows several psychological patterns. Sigmund Freud spoke about the id (animal nature), ego and superego. Eric Berne is about the inner child, parent and adult. These are the personalities that live inside each person.
Depending on what state he is in now, a person can behave like a child, or, for example, be a controlling or caring parent. A social psychologist and expert on gender relations has developed 7 female subpersonalities. We invite you to get to know them.
1. “Mother hen”
This is the instinctive part. The most ancient female instincts: firstly – children, secondly – the nest (house), thirdly – safety. When a woman says: “I want children, I want my own home, a normal level of income, and that there are many relatives and friends nearby” – it is in her says “Mother hen”.
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2. “Mischievous”, she is “Pippi Longstocking”
Remember this book by Astrid Lindgren? Pippi is a typical kid: she loves to ride a slide, have fun, is not afraid of extreme sports, she is brave. In women who are involved in extreme sports, this subpersonality is very strong.
This is such a funny, cheerful, mischievous girl who really likes men. But some women won’t let her out because it’s “not serious.” The hen inside them says: “We need to educate our children, and not to behave like a child!”.
This is a vulnerable girl, shy, capricious, constantly in anxiety, constantly in need of consolation. She says: “Everything is bad, I do not believe in myself at all, nothing good awaits me.” Men are annoyed by this subpersonality in most cases. How do they react? “Stop roaring, lit up the nurses, get down to business!” This is how codependent relationships are born.
4. “Thumbelina”, she is “Cheburashka”, she is “Little Red Riding Hood”
She is naive, romantic, dreamy. If “Mischievous girl” is interested in adventures and exploits, then “Thumbelina” is interested in reading poetry, taking a walk in the moonlight, dreaming about a handsome prince, a beautiful dress and shoes. As a five-year-old girl flaunts in front of a mirror in a new dress.
The problem is that sometimes this is even a very naive state. When such a “Little Red Riding Hood” meets a Gray Wolf, she says:
“Well, that’s okay. He is so brutal and strong, he has such big teeth, eyes and ears! Maybe he is my prince? ”
And falls into the clutches of the manipulator.
5. “Aunt”, she is “Chief accountant”
It is a dry, cold subpersonality, prone to control. It is often shown to women by their mother-in-law. But here the principle is the same: if a person communicates with you mainly from the position of one subpersonality, then you turn it on.
For example, the mother-in-law includes “Aunt”: “You cooked the wrong soup, you bring up your children poorly, you don’t care about your husband at all.”
And you can automatically turn on either the “Aunt” too, or the frightened “Thumbelina”. But you can change the subpersonality from which you communicate with the mother-in-law, and then she will change. It may seem incredible to you, but she can also turn on the “Thumbelina”, or even the “Mischievous”. This is all in it, too.
This is a truly warm and caring mother. That is, “Mother hen” is a functional mother: to iron things, cook food, wake up on time. And “Mommy” is interested in the emotional state, asks: “How are you? What’s happening? Let’s talk about it”.
She is affectionate, attentive, but sometimes her care is stifling. Usually, when a woman turns on this subpersonality, she feels sorry for everyone. For instance: “My husband is an alcoholic, but he didn’t become that way because of a good life. I feel sorry for him, I cannot go and leave him alone. I have to help him somehow. “
This is the most adult, judicious subpersonality who strives for development, self-improvement, knows a lot, is able to make informed decisions. She is a director. As in the case of male subpersonalities, it is she who decides which subpersonality will manifest itself in each specific situation. Moreover: through this, she controls the subpersonalities of the man. Have you heard the saying: “Husband – head, wife – neck”?
“Lady” is a calm, harmonious, wise subpersonality. She knows her own and male psychology, invests in her education, she is graceful and self-confident. She attracts all men.
But there is a nuance here: most men want their beloved to be a queen in society, and cheeky in bed. “Lady” can fade into the background and, for example, include “Mischievous” when it comes to sex. At the same time, she will never allow herself to be humiliated, she knows how to resolve conflicts, understands psychology.
The ideal formula for the representation of subpersonalities in women:
- 40% – “Lady”
- 20% – “Thumbelina”
- 20% – “Mamulechka”
- 10% – “Mischievous”
- 5% – “Dandelion”
- 5% – “Accountant”
- 1% – “Hen”
101% to have a little more, as in the case of men. If you want to build a strong, passionate, romantic relationship, do not turn on the “Hen”, because she does not evoke any of the subpersonalities suitable for this in a man.
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