Fear of society prevents a modern person from developing normally, earning money, and, after all, living. This fear of social relations, public speaking, contact with strangers got its name – social phobia.
The COLADY psychotherapist will tell you how to understand that you have social phobia.
Social phobia – what is it? Bologny psychologist, Oksana Konovalova told
“No, I’m a famous social phobia, so don’t even invite me to your corporate party!” – such ironic remarks about the fashionable “diagnosis” now do not surprise anyone.
The word “social phobia” has so naturally entered everyday speech that people far from psychology and psychotherapy do not even always feel whether they are using it correctly or incorrectly.
Fear of social situations, uncertainty when establishing new contacts, unwillingness to be the center of attention – all this is familiar to many. But this still does not make a person a social phobia. Fear in general is a healthy and natural response, necessary and beneficial.
Fear forces a person to act, it sharpens sensations and is able to lead to development, growth, and the disclosure of potential. For example, as I see from my own private practice, people who come to me with fear of public speaking often have untapped potential as a leader or leader.
The fear is specific – you understand what you are afraid of (forget the text, blush, face the result of poor preparation). If you have fear, then most likely you only feel it at the very beginning of the performance. One has only to start, and then everything goes like clockwork. When working with fear, it is important to gain new positive experiences and not neglect the acquisition of new knowledge – for example, you can take a public speaking training, read a book on how to conduct small talk, etc.
Anxiety is another matter. With anxiety, it is also scary and scary, but it is not entirely clear what exactly you are afraid of. Anxiety usually dulls sensations, “paralyzes”, interferes with action, turns on the “thought mixer”, you start thinking about what will suddenly happen and what will happen if. Anxiety is not specific – in the case of social situations, they are often afraid of condemnation, criticism, negative reaction; afraid to look stupid, ridiculous, to say something wrong. At the same time, gaining experience does not help much. It is difficult to deal with anxiety on your own, it is better to consult a psychologist.
Both fear and anxiety in a social situation are generally “normal” states, when it is “scary”, because for a modern person, social survival is no less important than biological survival. True, you need to work with them in different ways. If you are anxious, and you are trying to overcome fear, then it will not get better, and, perhaps, anxiety will even intensify.
Phobia is not a normal condition. Phobia is an irrational, destructive and pathological fear. The best way to deal with phobias is to see a psychotherapist.
The main causes of social phobia
Scientists make it clear that social phobia, like a number of other diseases, is transmitted from parents. However, at the moment, no specific gene has been identified that is responsible for this mental illness.
- Lack of chemicals in the body
An imbalance in a substance like seratonin can affect the development of social phobia. The fact is that seratonin regulates the level of emotions, and as a result, moods.
- Childhood mental trauma
Perhaps as a child, parents or friends taunt you when you recited a poem or told a story, which left a significant imprint on your memory.
Often, a child who grew up in a family where he was not allowed even a step to step without parental permission becomes closed to society. An important role in the development of social phobia in a child is played by constant convictions from parents in the form of direct suggestions that bad people are wandering in the street, that danger lies in wait everywhere, and that it is impossible to talk to strangers.
- Sexual assault
Mental trauma associated with violence of any kind, as a result, becomes the cause of a person’s social closeness.
- One-time stressful situation
Terrorist attack, death of a loved one, car accident.
- Long-term emotional stress
May be related to work, as well as the loss of a loved one or friend.
- Addicted people
Alcohol, drugs, overeating lead not only to serious addictions, but are also a “magic pill” for a person to hide his shyness, which has long developed into social phobia.
Social phobia test – check yourself
Sociophobia gets its name from the confluence of the two words “socio”, which means society and “phobia” – fear. In other words, fear of society.
Psychotherapists believe that in the presence of these 5 symptoms, the diagnosis of “social phobia” can be made:
- Communication with strangers
First of all, the face begins to blush, then a tremor of the head and limbs, tachycardia may occur. Breathe heavily. Pondering, experiencing this situation in your head – an internal dialogue.
- Talking on the phone
You convulsively pick up the telephone receiver when even your acquaintances call you. It is difficult to communicate with strangers on the phone. Most often, you do not know how to answer and what to say. Thoughts are confused, worried, worried.
- Public performance
Any performance in front of an audience is a real test for a patient with social phobia. The voice begins to change abruptly, most often towards a lower, quieter voice. Speech becomes incoherent, my hands sweat, and my feet feel like lead. The neck is on fire, and the pulse is off scale.
- Fear of criticism, condemnation
Anxiety, irritability, and nervousness when dealing with superiors, parents, or other people who control you or try to do so. For example: fear of going to an exam when you have learned everything, or fear of job interviews.
- Banned public places
In theaters, nightclubs, cinemas, parks and bars, you are overwhelmed by the thought that everyone around you is appreciated, and not your benefit. As a result, unwillingness to go to places with a large number of people, limiting their own freedom of choice. Denial of opportunities to have fun.
How is social phobia treated?
The most wrong way to treat social phobia people find on their own – this is alcohol. Often, normal people become reclusive first and then alcoholics. You cannot suppress all troubles and fears with ethyl alcohol, this is not an option!
Most often, the following methods are used to get rid of social anxiety:
- The method of saying what you are afraid of
At the trainings on public speaking, they teach how to speak in front of an audience, and correctly build a dialogue with the audience, present information and correct the voice. If you are afraid, then do it! Pronouncing limiting beliefs allows you to realize your phobia, correct your behavior, and, as a result, get rid of the fear of communicating with strangers.
Doctors can always come to your aid, and with more than one dozen psychotechnicians. It can be just a conversation, or it can be hypnosis, which is used quite successfully in the treatment of psychological problems.
Imagine a situation in which you are experiencing signs of social phobia: nervousness, fear, excitement, sweaty hands, etc. Experience the state with a positive attitude. Recommended to be performed under the supervision of a psychotherapist.
For treatment, antidepressants, serotonin-containing substances, beta-blockers are used. Before use, you need to consult a doctor!
- Self confidence
You need to do what you fear the most. This is the only way to regain confidence in yourself, your actions, and get freedom of choice and the opportunity to do what you want. To do this, you need to go to public places: bars, cafes, stadiums, make new acquaintances, argue (defend your point of view), and communicate, communicate and communicate again.
Have you encountered social phobia? Share with us in the comments!
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