Many parents complain about the excessive capriciousness of children. Of course, the main question for mothers is what to do when moodiness becomes a constant state of the baby. How to respond correctly – ignore, scold, or distract? But it should be understood that it is equally important to find the reason for this behavior of the child. Your solution to this problem depends on her. Parental struggle with whims – how to raise a baby correctly?
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Capricious child: what is the reason?
Not a single child’s action arises by itself – out of nowhere. Any action is a reflection of the feelings and inner state of the baby. The main reasons for excessive moodiness are usually:
- Health problems.
The child does not always realize that he is sick, hungry or tired. If he is too small or overwhelmed with emotion, he cannot express his state. This discomfort is expressed in capricious behavior.
- Surplus guardianship from parents and relatives.
The desire to protect the baby from dangers and various mistakes often leads to the fact that the child completely loses the need for independence. The consequence of total control, the blowing off of dust particles and the tradition of doing everything for the child is the inability and unwillingness of the child to grow up. In this case, the capriciousness of the child, as a rule, means that he is spoiled.
- Crisis at the age of three.
Many mothers notice abrupt changes in a child of this age. First of all, this is due to the fact that the baby declares himself as a person and demands freedom for himself. The child begins to rebel against overprotection, expressing this by the strength of his capabilities – that is, capriciousness.
- Relationships and microclimate in the family.
The flow of information from the outside, active communication and new impressions are the main reasons for the baby’s fatigue. Therefore, at home, he expects peace, stability and an atmosphere of love between the parents. In the absence of such (quarrels and scandals, changes in life, etc.), the child begins to protest. Hence, capriciousness, tearfulness and other reactions of the baby to a reality that does not suit him appear.
Instructions for parents: how to deal with a child’s whims
First and foremost, parents must understand that they are the most common reason for whims… If everything is in order with the baby’s health, then his whim is a response to the environment, parental behavior, parenting methods, etc. Therefore, first, determine the reason and figure out why the child is capricious. Further, based on the situation, learn to react to whims correctly:
- Never swear or yell at your child. Read: Why can’t you yell at a child?
- Recognize the child’s right to autonomy. The baby is growing, and the period when the mother’s opinion is the only correct one, and every word is the law, passes very quickly. It is clear that you want to control every step of your child (more often – out of fear for him), but you need to learn to gradually “let go of the leash.”
- If the child does not succeed in prohibiting something, then you should learn to control the process without prohibiting… That is, to give the baby the necessary freedom and the opportunity to show his independence, but at the right time always be there to prompt, direct and protect.
- Baby’s second year – the most important for its development. Therefore, teach him from this age to be independent – washing hands, helping elders, cleaning toys, etc. The sooner he becomes independent, the less reason he will have to get rid of your care by whining and whims.
- The best way to deal with whims is to communicate with your child.… Through play, through development, education, study. Forget your strict tone, forget about your unfinished book, and remember that you yourself were a child. Get the kid interested in a new interesting activity, make a house for a bear together, play spies, hide a treasure or go on an “excursion” with an educational bias. Sincere attention from parents is the best cure for whims.
- Before screaming, cursing and brushing off the capricious crumbs, understand the reasons for his behavior… There are situations when the really best option is to defiantly ignore the whim (for example, when a child demands the hundredth doll in a row). But in most cases, there is a reason for the whim. If the baby refuses to brush his teeth, it means that either this procedure causes him discomfort, or he is simply lazy. In this case, you should check with the dentist, and turn the cleaning of your teeth into a fun game with a fragrant paste and a funny brush. You can put a special hourglass and brush your teeth until the sand runs out.
- The best method against whims is accustoming the child to the correct daily routine since infancy. A kid who feels well his daily routine is always more calm and collected – this is confirmed by pediatricians, teachers and child psychologists. Only the accustoming to the correct regime should not turn into a drill, it must be done persistently, but very gently and unobtrusively.
- If the child is stubborn and capricious, categorically not wanting to do anything, do not terrorize him. Find a compromise. Of course, this does not mean that you need to adapt to the child and allow whatever comes into his head (sometimes it can be just dangerous, everything needs a measure). But do not make him feel subservient – the baby needs love, not dictatorship. Don’t want to put your toys away? Offer to get out together so that later you can read him a new interesting fairy tale before bed. Doesn’t want to wash? Put some foam in the bathroom, buy a clockwork boat and arrange “water battles”.
The peace of mind of your baby is entirely up to you. Learn to listen and hear it, and everything will fall into place by itself.
See also: How to Raise a Child-Manipulator – Tips for Parents.
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