Greedy people in friends – the reasons for greed, how to understand and forgive them
Who are the greedy ones? They are very boring and petty companions with an obsession with “accumulation”. And it doesn’t matter if an unfamiliar gentleman with whom you “don’t baptize children” is a stingy man.
But if this miser is your friend? What to do? Forgive, understand and accept? Or urgently remove his number from the phone and forget, like a bad dream?
The content of the article:
Greedy people – what they are: hallmarks of a greedy person
As you know, greed is one of the vices condemned by most world religions. And he is recognized as a rare person.
The greedy person tries to take everything from life. But, alas, he does not receive satisfaction because of his insatiability.
What kind of greed is he? What are the symptoms of the “affliction”?
- He does not lend (or lends with demonstrative reluctance).
- He with a light soul kills the last piece of “sweet”.
- There are branded items in his wardrobe, but at home he will wear “whatever”. When meeting guests (which rarely happens) in an expensive shirt, he will not be ashamed to brew one tea bag for the second time in a friend’s cup.
- He never throws away “old stuff” like an ancient refrigerator or grandmother’s chandelier. The hoarding is in his blood.
- He always trades in the markets and even in stores, never leaves a tip and very carefully counts the change.
- He is extremely jealous. The second half, in his opinion, is also his property.
- All around are his potential rivals and competitors.
- He is always jealous of more successful people.
- He loves shopping.
- He looks after his car, but saves on gas and travels by bus more often.
- When handing over a gift, he will definitely notice that it cost him a lot, or he will simply leave the price tag in a conspicuous place. However, waiting for a gift from him is a real miracle.
- When paying for goods on his face – universal grief, as if he were giving the last.
- He is constantly looking for ways to save money.
- He will definitely time the wedding date for some holiday in order to save money on gifts for his wife. Which, by the way, will give them to your liking (so that “everyone will find it useful”).
- Searching for discounts and sales is his favorite pastime. Even if he urgently needs a TV, he will wait until a promotion for this equipment starts somewhere. He makes most of his purchases in the first days of January, when shops massively drop prices for the temporarily “impoverished” after the holidays of the townspeople.
- As soon as you leave the room for a couple of minutes, he already flies there to turn off the light. And you can completely forget about “taking a bath”. Just a shower, and like an army fast! Counters!
- He is always not satisfied with his life.
“He was a great economy!”
It is important to distinguish greed from the usual drive to save due to life circumstances (or character).
Thrifty friend he will also look for sales and maybe even make tea a second time, but he will never leave a friend without a gift for the holiday, and the gift itself – with a price tag.
When communicating with a thrifty friend, you do not experience negative emotions, and from your tongue does not involuntarily fly off – “miser!”. On the contrary, you admire his ability to allocate money and save even where it would normally not be possible.
Cooper or miser?
It is worth noting that these two concepts are also different. A stingy person saves on everything, including food. He will travel across the city to buy a kilo of fish 10 rubles cheaper, and will look for a new “mobile phone” via the Internet, because the price is always lower there.
But he will not save on gifts for a friend or beloved woman, and will never be “smeared” with a box of birthday chocolates. At general friendly meetings, he will always contribute his share for the “banquet” and will not try to enter heaven on someone else’s hump.
His stinginess applies only to him… Greed extends to everyone around.
The reasons for the greed of friends and acquaintances – why are people greedy?
Usually, we become greedy not all of a sudden, but gradually… Moreover, starting from early childhood. It is rare when a greedy person becomes in an adult conscious age (habits are too strong).
As for the reasons for greed, there are not so many of them:
- Self-doubt and obsessive desire for physical / psychological safety. Constant fears of life push the greedy to accumulate. Life for him is hostile and dangerous, therefore, it is necessary to prepare for difficulties “today and now”.
- An example from childhood. The child’s model of the family, as a rule, automatically carries over to the adult lives of children. If dad or mom were greedy, the child does not consider greed unnatural.
- Mom and Dad did not teach the child to be generous and simply did not notice how he turned into a greedy person. What if the child is a greedy person? This usually happens after the appearance of the 2nd baby in the family. The older child, left “on the sidelines of life,” takes matters into his own hands – the lack of attention, toys and love brings up in him a person who begins to live for himself, in his own shell.
- He grew up in a wealthy family. And from the cradle, all the “wealth” mom and dad threw at his feet. He is not used to sharing, giving, giving. He is used to only taking and demanding. And even his first word was “give!”
- He made his fortune “with sweat and blood”, and sees a threat in everything that concerns his money.
- Poverty in the past. Such stages of life, when you have to save every penny, also do not pass without a trace. Some acquire the habit of living economically and within their means, while for others the economy grows into greed and pettiness out of fear that “one day everything will collapse again.”
- He just lives with plans for the future. An obsessive dream (or a clear goal) about a car (an apartment, a summer residence, a trip, etc.) is more important than all his needs and the needs of his relatives and friends. The goal obscures a person’s eyes, and everything except it becomes unimportant and empty.
How to deal with a greedy friend – to understand, accept and forgive?
According to Chinese (and indeed any other) philosophy, greedy is always unhappy… Simply because he is unable to be satisfied with the present day and is always tormented by baseless vanity.
But the main question for the greedy’s friends remains – what to do? To completely break off relations, so as not to feel constant resentment at a fellow-miser, to reconcile and accept a friend as he is, or to try to re-educate him?
Certainly, if the relationship is a heavy burden, from which you want to get rid of, then there is no point in such a relationship, and you need to part.
Still, even a greedy person is capable of being responsive, interesting and loyal. Greed is not a sentence, and it is quite possible to cure it (or at least “remove the aggravation”) by cunning, as well as understanding and love.
How to do it?
- Be an example to your friend. Give him gifts, treat him to dinners, do not skimp on good deeds and words.
- Treat your friend’s greed with a smile and humor. Let him understand that you notice his greed, and you do not like it, but you are not going to give up your friend.
- It makes sense to present a friend from time to time “lessons of greed”, playing a mirror image of his attitude towards you. Again, without anger and morality. Let him feel how sad it is to be a friend of a greedy person.
And most importantly, be generous, merciful and generous yourself… It is impossible to remain greedy when you are surrounded by kind and bright people, whose words and deeds come from the very heart.
Have you ever had greedy friends in your life? And how did you build relationships with them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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