It is difficult to imagine, but in Russian works on psychology there is not a single serious study on the topic of “how to survive grief.” But the loss of love, the breakdown of relationships is more than a serious psychological test for any person. And “grief syndrome” can easily deprive a person of the brightness of life for many years and completely dull the senses.
How can you forget your ex if he is still loved?
The content of the article:
- Why do I still think about my ex?
- Why did I finally decide to stop thinking about him?
- How to forget and stop thinking about your ex – 7 steps
Why do I still think about my ex-husband, lover, boyfriend – figuring out ourselves
Almost every woman has had a relationship in her life that was not destined to last long for one reason or another. A painful break is always tears, sleepless nights, lack of appetite, complete apathy and a search for further meaning of existence.
Why, even after the breakup, does a woman continue to think about the person with whom the relationship has ended?
Video: How to forget your ex? How to forget a person after breaking up?
The reasons are usually the same.
Just a woman…
- Feels guiltyif she was the initiator of the break.
- Afraid of being alone.
- Doesn’t know how to start a new life if the old one was completely dedicated to a loved one. If you give yourself entirely, then after the breakup “almost nothing remains of you.”
- Doesn’t want to build new relationships and doesn’t see himself in thembecause everything suited her in her ex-partner.
How long does it take to forget your ex?
According to research by scientists, the period it takes to forget about feelings for the ex (ex) is exactly half the period of the relationship.
For example, if the relationship lasted 10 years, then it will take at least 5 years to “lick the wounds of the heart.”
Of course, this formula is not at all obligatory, and it all depends on the case, people, the situation itself, and so on. Someone’s mental wounds will heal within a month or two, while others won’t be even three years old.
According to statistics, depression in men in 75% of cases is stronger than in women, but they cope with negativity faster, and the male psyche is more stable with respect to the consequences of divorce. The intensity of the suffering of the weaker sex is not so intense, but the duration of suffering is 2-3 times longer than that of men.
In addition, the suffering from a breakup in women tends to transform into powerful psychological trauma and develop into severe psychological illnesses. How to survive parting with a loved one?
Why did I finally decide to stop thinking about the person and forget him – and should I not think about him?
You can’t endlessly suffer a breakup. No matter how difficult the situation is, a woman will still not be able to devote her whole life to memories. I still want happiness, a quiet life and love.
But the memories are so painful, and the wounds on the heart are bleeding so much that it is impossible to get rid of the thoughts of her former man. Not only has he crossed out the entire past – he also threatens to ruin the future, clinging to his heart and thoughts.
And that means – it’s time to get rid of it!
Video: A quick and effective way to forget your ex – advice from a psychologist
What do you need to understand and learn?
- There will be no new life. You only have one life. And what it will be, depends directly only on you.
- “It is impossible to glue the pieces of a broken heart”… This phrase is just a metaphor. Common words for poetry and romance novels. As for reality, everything in it obeys the laws of nature. And nature is so conceived that even love has a physical basis and passes over time, like any bad habit.
- There is no point in indulging yourself with illusions. The sooner you realize that it’s over, the faster your recovery from love will begin. Only you can put an end to it.
You may find it easier to deal with feelings if you learn that liberation from love occurs in 3 stages:
- Stage 1. The most difficult stage, at which it is important to tear your “psychic energy” away from your already ex-loved one. At this stage, you must first surrender to grief (grieve, remember everything that came true and did not come true), and then emerge from it before you drown in this grief. This is a kind of stage of the “Revision”, at which you need to remember everything, endure and cry in order to move to another level of liberation.
- Stage 2. The feeling of loss is no longer so acute, but everything around him reminds of him. Therefore, now the stage of “utilization” begins, when you need to ruthlessly get rid of everything that awakens feelings and memory of him in you.
- Stage 3… Final separation stage. You can already look back without experiencing painful sensations in the area of the heart. Now you are just an observer of those memories that sometimes accidentally bring to the shore of your life.
The most important thing not to do after a breakup is to try to relieve pain through a new relationship. Give your grief time to grind into experience: firstly, you will become stronger, and secondly, you will make much fewer mistakes in the future.
How to Forget Your Ex and Stop Thinking About Him – 7 Steps to Peace of Mind and a Happy Future
The most important thing to do in order to complete the process of releasing feelings for the former is to love yourself again and fill it like an empty vessel.
And to do it faster, use the advice of experts:
- Give yourself time to “grind the grief.” Any grief must, first of all, be recovered. Give yourself up to sorrow completely for a short time, plunge into it headlong – cry, share your grief with loved ones or, if it’s easier for you, “drink” your grief alone, but to the bottom. To make a point.
- Find a way to express your emotions. They must be thrown out somewhere: negative emotions, pain and suffering are not what you need to fill your “empty vessel” with. Smash the dishes, play sports, sign up for shooting courses – whatever, if only you can give a vent to your emotions. Naturally, without harm to others.
- Stop pouring from empty to empty… There is no need to constantly play these memory films in memory – it’s time to get well! Analyze your mistakes, stop feeling sorry for yourself and regretting the past, step over this new line of your life and start a new book of your destiny, in which everyone is his own director.
- Change everything. The furnishings, hairstyle, appearance and image, even the place of residence and work. Anything that you can change drastically – change it. Any changes now are your medicine, new impressions and a new round of life.
- Create yourself a schedule for a week or two (to begin with) so that every day is scheduled literally by the hour. You should not have a single free minute for memories and self-pity. You have to be so busy that, returning home, fall without legs on the bed and fall asleep. What to schedule is up to you. But it is recommended to add to the list, in addition to the usual “sports, beauty, work”, also your unrealized dreams. Surely, you have a secret list of desires and “dreams”? It’s time to get busy!
- Don’t give up on the best psychologists in the person (s) of friends, loved ones, girlfriends. Friends will not let you sour in your grief – they will help you cope with self-flagellation and even be reborn with the thought that everything will be fine, because it simply cannot be otherwise.
- Learn to love yourself. You have given too much of yourself if today it is so hard for you to deal with the pain. Of course, we are not talking about becoming an absolute selfish, but you need to love yourself just enough so that you do not have to die of grief, hugging a pillow wet with tears.
Video: 3 tips on how to forget your ex
Have you had similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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