How to get over disappointment in your beloved man, and what to do if you are disappointed in your husband or boyfriend?
Disappointment is a serious and unpleasant feeling. And it is fraught with certain consequences if it concerns the relationship between a woman and a man. Unfortunately, it is the disappointment in each other that often becomes the key reason for divorce. Of course, family life is not a continuous holiday, and each couple goes through difficult stages on the way to “to the grave”, but not everyone manages to overcome them.
What if you are facing relationship frustration and is there a cure for it?
The content of the article:
- 7 reasons why women are disappointed in men they love
- If disappointment fills all thoughts and feelings …
- How to understand whether you are disappointed – or have fallen out of love?
- Is there life after disappointment in a loved one
7 reasons why women are disappointed in their beloved men – do you have any?
No one is obliged to meet our wishes and exaggerated requirements: each person is individual, and according to unwritten books about recipes for family happiness, a loved one should simply be accepted as he actually is. And you will be happy.
But will it be?
Will it be, if you suddenly realize that you are living with a completely different person with whom you once fell in love without memory? And where does this very disappointment come from?
The main causes of disappointment that are truly destructive to family life are …
- Idle talk… Yesterday – the moon from the sky, I love it to the grave, you are behind a stone wall, do not be afraid of anything, and so on. Today, he cowardly runs away at every trouble, and has ceased to fulfill even the simplest everyday promises. He says “I love”, but his actions speak volumes about the opposite. The woman endures to the last, hoping that it is temporary. But one day, patience runs out, and she realizes that all her feelings just died, while she was struggling to endure and wait for changes.
- Betrayal. One of the greatest disappointments. And not necessarily a woman is involved in this situation. Sometimes just the first difficulties are enough for a man to cowardly run away, leaving the woman alone with trouble. Then he, of course, will return, but will they accept him back?
- Treason. For this reason, no additional explanation is even needed. A rare woman forgives betrayal and gives a second chance. This disappointment is a pain that will always be in the relationship.
- Lie. There are no people who would speak only the truth. If only because in a relationship a lie for good is one of the guarantees of a happy coexistence. If we always spoke only the truth, then we would disperse on the second day of our life together. But a lie for good has nothing to do with a lie, which can be understood and forgiven once, twice … And then trust in a person disappears. And if there is no trust, then there is nothing – such a relationship is doomed. How to restore trust in a family?
- Indifference. It seemed like a banal and even “vague” reason. Is it too much for a complete disappointment? Unfortunately no. Not too much. Because the daily indifference of a man gradually empties the very “vessel” that should be filled with love. Indifference is impossible to simply wait or survive. Indifference is the absence of love. And if there is no love, then there is no relationship – over time (immediately or later) they will come to naught.
- The use of physical force. “He beats, then he loves”? No. It means that it is unbalanced. This means that this can be repeated more than once. This means that you need to constantly be on your guard. Is this family life? Of course, the cases are different, and no one canceled the “state of passion”, which can be provoked by the woman herself. But the first use of force is always the beginning of the end. It’s like with a child who knows no matter what happens – mom will never hit or punish. As long as he believes, there is peace in the family. Which instantly collapses after the first serious cuff or strap.
- Insolvency. “He’s like a child.” “You still have to educate him.” Etc. She marries a man with whom they have fun, chat until morning, embark on adventures together, create joint little frenzy. They can spit on work and stay at home, they can leave for a month without warning anyone, and so on. One day they have a child. And the old life, it seems, should change, because now responsibility and self-sacrifice are in the first place. But not always for both. Sometimes he never grows up in a relationship, remaining a person who lives only today, only with pleasures, only for himself. Or maybe he’s a mama’s boy?
Of course, there could be many more reasons.
But, before you act, you need to understand – did you yourself provoke such an attitude of your beloved towards yourself? What if there is a reason for his coldness, lies or demonstrative indifference?
Only by clearly identifying the source of the problem in your relationship will you get a chance to work on the mistakes. Unless, of course, it is too late for her.
What to do if disappointment in your beloved man fills all thoughts and feelings?
Disappointment is a negative and completely non-constructive feeling. On its basis, creation is impossible, no matter how you want it.
Along with disappointment, there always comes resentment, pain, annoyance, a feeling of loneliness, betrayal, and so on. This is on the one hand.
On the other hand …
Maybe you just finally took off your rose-colored glasses and saw everything as it is? Without idealizing Him as the man of your dreams.
The picture of life together did not coincide with your dreams and ideas about it – this is normal. Just take it for granted. And decide what to do with it next.
Is it really that bad, and he turned out to be a real “werewolf”, or were you just trying not to notice what your eyes were opening now?
Does disappointment in a loved one mean the loss of love: how to understand, disappointed – or fell out of love?
After you figured out where the legs of your disappointment come from, you need to understand – is there still a chance for your relationship to have a happy ending, or is it time to take the bait and start life from scratch.
How to understand – is it just a disappointment that you can easily cope with, or your love has “wilted” and “the client is more likely dead than alive”?
It is useless to revive your love if …
- He constantly irritates you, which does not go away even in rare moments of normal communication.
- You are constantly looking for an excuse to leave the house or go to bed early so that you can communicate with him as little as possible.
- Living together does not bring you joy.
- You crossed the line beyond which harmless jokes turned into offensive insults and rudeness.
- In your intimate life there is a solid black stripe (both have no desire at all, a rare violent intimacy does not change anything in the relationship as a whole, or this is the only thing that still unites you).
- You are unable to calmly talk about a common problem.
- You don’t trust each other.
- You are not interested in where your husband has been all day.
- You no longer compromise, and you have become absolutely intolerant of each other’s mistakes.
- You feel great in his absence, and sigh in disappointment when he returns home.
- You are no longer afraid of losing it.
If you can put an “affirmative” checkmark on all the items, consider that your relationship has long since ended and is simply “rolling by inertia.”
Is there a life after disappointment in a loved one, how to get through it – and become happy?
If you understand that you cannot cope with your disappointment, and the love has passed, then you are left with only parting and a new life – naturally, taking into account your mistakes.
What if parting is worse than disappointment?
This means that all is not yet lost – and? When building relationships, one must remember that they always develop in a sinusoidal manner, regularly returning us to the zero point.
- Understand your life together. Check all the problems, analyze them and make work on the mistakes. Perhaps this work will have to be done every day, but any hearth needs to be supported, and even a family one – even more so.
- Take off your rose-colored glasses. See life and your partners as they are. Then there is no need to be disappointed. Better pleasant surprises than constant disappointments.
- Get into the habit of talking heart to heart. Do not accumulate problems that can then blow you away like an avalanche. All problems should be discussed and resolved immediately, on the spot.
- Be ready to give in, step over yourself, and compromise. Naturally, this should be reciprocal.
- Don’t completely dissolve in your partner. Otherwise, nothing will remain of you, and then possible disappointment in the future will threaten with a serious nervous breakdown. You don’t have to be 100% dependent on your loved one. Leave a little freedom for yourself and him. This will save each other from disappointment, and even if love passes, you can even remain friends.
A relationship is like building a big house, the strength of which depends not only on floors, walls and materials, but to a greater extent on the foundation that you lay with your loved one.
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