The question is, of course, interesting, but not as difficult and scary as we usually imagine it.
First, we need to start by accepting. You just need to come to terms with the fact that our brain is so arranged. Every time we are faced with the possibility of choice, the beginning to doubt.
Agree, if you are offered one green apple, then you will take it and you will not regret your decision. And if you have to choose from two? And if three? Just a nightmare! Every time after we make a choice, something turns on in our head and begins to convince us of its incorrectness.
In this case, it would be necessary to choose not a green one, but some other, for example, a red apple. Sound familiar? It seems as if there is no escape from these constant doubts. And I’ll tell you this: “You don’t need to run away, you should start to understand what is the matter.”
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Why do we waste time with unnecessary regrets
To know exactly where our eternal “Doubts about their own choice”, you need to know how our brain works, to understand the basic principles. So, our emotions arise in the “limbic system”, it is thanks to it that we manage (or not so much) to make decisions. But is it possible to take control of decision-making?
To do this, you need to decide how to work with doubts, understand their reasons. And the reasons can be different. This is the lack of self-confidence, as a result, and in their decisions, and the desire to achieve the ideal, and the fear of making a mistake, subsequently losing their authority. But the main key to solving this mystery is responsibility. Yes, it is closely related to all of the above.
If you take responsibility for yourself, your life, and your decisions, the fear of failure goes away. There is a realization that there is no better option, no ideal. And whatever decision you make, you realize that it is yours.
When you take responsibility, confidence in your actions also comes to you, because you understand that there is nowhere to retreat. Regret about one’s own choice is a more subtle question, which is tied to self-esteem. When you value yourself and truly love, you do not question your choice, you accept it as you do yourself.
The realization comes that the ideal and the right does not exist. You just do what you think is right for you at the moment. In this case, there can be no question of doubts.
As you understand, doubts about the choice – self-doubt, fear of decision-making – running from responsibility, from yourself. Indeed, one thing here follows from the other. In order to make it easier for you to make a decision, I will give you some advice and guidelines, but remember – you can learn how to make decisions and not regret anything only by carefully working on yourself, perhaps even with the help of a specialist.
Steps to Help Reduce Feelings of Insecurity
So, how can you reduce your own doubts about the upcoming choice?
Here are some steps:
- No perfectionism
Accept the fact that there is no ideal, there is no right or wrong choice. Yes, any decision leads to consequences, but the further development of events depends only on you.
- Listen to yourself
learn to hear yourself. No matter how trite it may sound, if you are in harmony with yourself, then it is much easier to feel what you need at this moment in time.
- Solutions for a “sober” head
Try not to make decisions on emotions. In such cases, the head turns off, which means that we stop giving ourselves a report. If you have the opportunity, then use the rule “the morning is wiser than the evening.” Cool down first, then take responsibility and make decisions.
Stop wasting time with regrets. The choice is made, there is no turning back. How much you regret what happened, so much time you waste.
- Pen and paper
If you are completely lost, and you need to accept the choice, then an ordinary piece of paper and a risk map drawn by you will help you. Everything is simple here: in the smallest details and details, describe the pros and cons of the upcoming choice. And then choose from all evils the most suitable one for you.
Now you know exactly how everything works. However, in order to learn how to make decisions, you need to find the strength in yourself and make a decision to tackle this issue. And if you start with those small steps that I presented above, then your life will definitely be transformed. And much faster than you think.
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