Relationship conflicts are natural and inevitable. As psychologists say, they do not allow negative accumulation, help to discharge emotionally and can even be useful for the development of relationships. A how to make peace with a man, to get this loud “benefit”? And in general, are there any original ways to make the truce look more like a confession of guilt, and a declaration of love and trust? Psychologists will tell you COLADY.
How to make peace with your beloved man is correct if he is to blame for a quarrel – instruction for a wise woman
You might be interested in: How to quarrel with a man correctly – instructions from psychologists
So, the culprit of the quarrel is you a man or a guy, but he is in no hurry to go to the world?
Then you will have to go first to reconciliation with your husband. Believe me, there is no right or wrong in the most unpleasant situation, do not forget to ask about the feelings of your loved one and try to understand them. No one ever does something without prerequisites – even if, in fact, he is the initiator of the quarrel.
Having understood its reasons, feel free to talk about your motives. After all, the easiest way to explain your feelings to your partner is to just talk about them. No accusations or criticism. Read below for options on how to make peace with your boyfriend or husband.
- Pause… If your partner is the type of person who needs time to rethink the situation, stop. It usually takes 1 to 3 days to cool down and realize the importance of a relationship. Do not rush him and do not begin to suspect in the loss of past feelings. It’s just that some people need pauses that allow them to assess reality and correctly prioritize.
- If your partner just didn’t care about his guilt, you shouldn’t arrange a showdown or beg for an apology. Instead, simply allocate a certain amount from the family budget, for example, for a dance subscription. It is desirable that this was not a thing, but a long-term event. Such independence, especially associated with the acquisition of new contacts, will concern the frivolous husband, and expect repentance in a couple of days!
How can I make peace with my husband or boyfriend if I am to blame
If you realize that you are wrong, do not hesitate to apologize. The conflict will not resolve on its own, and a prolonged denouement can harm the relationship.
There are enough ways of reconciliation with a man to cope with your vanity and even pleasantly surprise your beloved.
- Just “excuse me” works wonders if you address them personally to your beloved in an original way with the help of a funny surprise, sms, mms, mail, social network.
- Does your husband listen to the radio? Then turn to his favorite radio station! Let him suddenly hear your apologies and declarations of love, or they will be voiced by a DJ, but without fail – with your partner’s favorite composition.
- Make his favorite cake or other dish, on which write the words of apology. If you don’t like cooking, you can book a table in a romantic cafe. Such reconciliation with your loved one will only strengthen your relationship and turn into a passionate night.
- Talk. Only in a few cases does this lead to a deepening of the quarrel, for example, if both parties do not seek to understand each other. In other situations, it helps to permanently eliminate the cause of the conflict and achieve greater openness in the relationship.
In a conversation with a man, adhere to the following rules:
- Accept that your loved one may have different values. And what is insignificant to you may be significant to him. Therefore, do not deny your partner what in your opinion does not make sense.
- Never assume for a spouse or boyfriend. Just ask. And no matter how scary, it is better to know the truth than to live with illusions. After all, fantasies can be confusing, for example, exaggerate your feelings of guilt.
- Talk to your partner honestly, to the point, and openly. Don’t play the guessing game! In order not to feel petty, it is important to understand what is behind those nuances that you do not like and to voice them. Only after many years will you learn to recognize each other perfectly.
- Don’t generalize or exaggerate the problem over time. Communicate only what excites you at the moment without unpleasant words like “every time”, “always” and “constantly”.
Commentary from family psychologist, art therapist Irina Peremolotova
How to make peace after a quarrel with your beloved man?
A relationship is the interaction of two different people, so conflict is a normal and natural process.
However, often, due to psychological immaturity, a conflict of interest (for example, a vacation in Sochi or Altai) develops into a conflict of rightness (for example, I’m right, I know better), from which there is no way out, but there is only place for personal insults. Everyone always considers Himself right at heart. Therefore, in order to resolve it, it is important to move to the format of a conflict of interest and provide convincing arguments for your position.
How to make peace if the conflict has already ended in a quarrel?
Write a letter when feelings have cooled down and you can analyze, look at the situation from different points of view. It can be sent as a message, or you can, bringing clarity in your head, speak at a meeting or on the phone.
In the process, you can distance yourself and ask yourself the question: what is happening to me? What’s going on between us?
Be sincere and honest. Write with I-messages, not accusations.
For example, in our relationship, I feel lonely, not valuable, which is why I so insistently demand attention, which is why it was especially important for me that you come on time on my birthday.
I value our relationship very much. You are important to me.
It is important to understand what is at the heart of the fight.
- It can be a trifle, the consequences of stress, a hard day, irritation.
- Feeling insufficiently important in a relationship.
- Radically different values.
- Resentment at each other.
Think about it.
The reason is important not only to make up, but also to avoid similar fights in the future. And if in the first case, the quarrel is a special case, then in the rest it is a consequence and a pattern.
9 tips to make peace with your beloved man from psychologist Ekaterina Plasteeva
- The best thing is to talk about your love, if there is one. It is these words that most quickly eliminate quarrels. Don’t be stingy. These are the main words.
- Don’t fantasize. Clarify what’s going on in the fight, in the relationship.
- Listen to someone’s advice as little as possible. They will lead you to a dead end. Rest assured that it is.
- If it’s difficult, go to a good family counselor.
- Remember always that two people have more than one truth. Agree, learn to yield. Concessions must be two-way.
- If you find it difficult to express your feelings in words, express with touches, hugs. Don’t be stingy.
- If you were told that all that has already passed is love. Take your time, it may not be so. Listen, if there is love in your heart, continue, do not stop in the actions for rapprochement.
- When, at the time of conflict, you want to utter hurtful words. Stop, leave contact. Continue building Contact when pacified.
- Do not hold grudges in your heart, do not accumulate them. Always try to be clear about situations. If it’s difficult, see a psychologist.
The most common cause of difficult conflicts is the inability to talk to each other. More often than not, each of the parties has a feeling that she, he is not heard, not understood. Often the causes of conflicts lie in different family values. Everyone has the feeling that his truth is the truth. The reasons for the conflict can be insincerity, deceit, a desire to dominate in any way. The reasons for conflicts in a couple may be the fault of the participation of third parties who know the “truth”.
How did you put up with a man after a quarrel? Share with us in the comments!
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