The husband receives little and does not strive to change something in this, while the wife counts every coin, saves even on the most necessary. In this case, the position of the family is critical. The woman is not happy with this state of affairs, and the husband is happy with everything.
Why did it happen, and has it always been so? Why does the husband earn little, and how to make him earn more? Psychologists will tell you COLADY.
See also: What to do if the husband is lying on the couch and does not think to help?
Why your man doesn’t make a lot of money – reasons
Laziness is not a reason, because a person is lazy by nature, this is an ordinary feeling of conserving energy. Everyone tries to do less than they can.
- He has such a character. The husband does not need anything, he is ready to sit in front of the TV forever, he is not afraid of the mess in the house, he is not embarrassed by dirty socks in the corners. And he himself is not pretentious about things. A new phone is not needed, clothes – and old ones are not bad yet, repair – why, when the wallpaper has not yet fallen. An infantile person, it would seem, is not interested in anything. But something should be captivating him. You need to catch on to this.
- Not ready for a leading role. In the parental family, he was always a small child, who was supported by his mother. And the wife, by the way, was caught strong and domineering. Therefore, he does everything with half his strength.
- Features of work. Perhaps such an activity requires a long start, but then this delay will pay off with interest and give the coveted large salary. For example, to achieve a promotion, you need to have 3-5 years of experience. Or you need to achieve some specific merit, develop a dozen projects.
- Or maybe the husband earns normally. It’s just that the wife spends a lot. It is worth soberly assessing your costs. Perhaps too much money is spent on cosmetics and clothing. Or maybe for food. Is your family used to eating gourmet food, going to restaurants? Then the reason is clear.
The main thing in this problem is the roles of women and men in the family. Since ancient times, the wife is the keeper of the hearth, mother, tenderness and love. The husband is strength, power, prosperity, protection, support and a stone wall.
See also: Fair distribution of responsibilities in the family between husband and wife.
The woman’s business is to improve the way of life, the man’s business is to raise funds for living. As soon as money appears in the house, the wife instinctively begins to build a nest, as soon as the woman ceases to maintain comfort in the house, the man ceases to provide this house. Vicious circle.
Conceived, women in such situations have the idea that it would be economically easier to live without a husband. It costs more than income. Somewhere you will have to deny yourself cosmetics, new clothes … But you shouldn’t do that. This – the path that will lead to a deep hole, from which it will no longer be possible to get out. The faithful will cease to see a woman in his spouse, will cease to respect her. Sits on the neck, dangles her legs, and will not take into account her needs.
How a wife can help her husband earn more – said a psychologist-consultant in the field of interpersonal relations, coach, energy therapist Veronika Tyurina
What wife does not wish her husband big earnings and financial well-being, given her cohabitation with him ?! But what if the husband has a different view of this issue or his ambitions are not so great? Is it really possible to get a divorce?
I invite you to look at this situation from a different angle and ask yourself the following question: how can I help my husband become a successful financially secure person, next to whom I enjoy life in love and prosperity every day?
10 effective ways to get your husband to make money:
- Change the wording: not to force, but to help. This is how you move from a pretense to a constructive, cooperative position.
- Recognize a man’s right to his personal choice and his opinion in the matter of money. He has every right not to want your cherished millions and be content with smaller numbers.
- Realize your feminine strength: this is not rough pressure, but softness, flexibility and at the same time perseverance. The methods of female influence are quite effective when they are not done rudely and at a swoop.
- To clarify with my husband openly what level of financial income he sets for himself. Honest, frank conversation will help build rapport and dispel possible illusions.
- Inspire your husband to realize his talents and abilities, perhaps in addition to his main activity: this way you can go out to increase your existing income, which is important to you, and your husband will have more positive emotions and satisfaction.
- Leave books on financial thinking in a prominent place, as if by chance, do not close the necessary pages of sites in the browser, share interesting news from the world of entrepreneurship and self-development.
- Draw in the minds of her husband beautiful pictures of joint recreation, trips, for example, to those places in which he dreams. Reinforce these fantasies with real numbers: search the Internet, how much the tickets will cost, which hotels might suit you, what time is it better to go there, etc.
- Visualize yourself and your life next to your husband, when he has already reached the financial level that you dream about. Go to the sensations: what you feel, what you do then, how you look, how you live.
- Set an example: start taking care of yourself and pump your feminine qualities, work on your appearance, become the center of your life for yourself. Remove overcontrol from your husband’s ambitions, let him feel himself and spread his wings.
- Believe in your husband: consider him – what are his strengths? Emphasize them, praise him for them. Remind him how courageous / charismatic / adventurous / responsible, etc. he is.
Choose environmentally friendly methods of influence and do not go into manipulation: this way you will preserve yourself and your self-esteem, and this is priceless.
“Working” method of motivating a man to earn more from a psychologist, COLADY expert, Elena Tolkacheva
No wonder they say, a man is a head, a woman is a neck. That supports and guides. But you can only guide and inspire a man who has inner potential, goals, dreams and plans for life. You need to pay attention to this even when you meet.
A victim man or a mama’s son will never be an achiever, even with a resourceful woman.
So, how to motivate a man to earn more:
- Compliment him… Compliments always have a positive effect on a man. Therefore, do not skimp on the words “I’m proud of you, you are the best“.
- Do not criticize… A woman’s job is to inspire, not devalue. In no case should you say: “Look, Tanya’s husband earns much more than you, they bought a new car“,”You are as much a loser as your father“. These and similar phrases will discourage the desire not only to earn money, but also to live together.
- Create the weather in the house… The husband “feeds” on what the wife radiates. Quarrels, scandals, constant misunderstanding between you will not give him internal resources for development and increasing earnings. But your energy of love, calmness and femininity will fill him.
- Hide the steel eggs. In the modern world, women know how to earn more than men. But if you continue to work for days and pay all the bills on your own, your husband will have no reason to try. Let him know that he is the breadwinner and breadwinner.
- Keep it in good shape… A subtle fluid of jealousy should always be present. Just don’t overdo it.
- Make plans together… Money comes for a specific purpose. Plan (together!) Big expenses: a new phone of the latest model, a vacation, a car, an apartment, starting a business, etc.
What needs to be done so that the husband earns good money – advice from psychologists
- Don’t get divorced. For a husband to make good money, he needs to be sufficiently motivated for this.
- Stop working hard yourself. Let him have to live from hand to mouth, but this is the most effective way to reach out to him, to explain that he is a breadwinner. In addition, if a woman acts as a breadwinner, then she will not be able to devote much time to children, which she will later regret bitterly about.
- Dream, make plans for the future together. Know what is worth working harder for. If it doesn’t work out, then you can create wishlists and write whatever you want there without filtering out anything. Draw a wish card. Glue clippings from magazines, newspapers to a sheet of paper. Like a new TV, a sandy beach with palm trees, a new car.
- Saving correctly. As mentioned earlier, do not limit yourself and loved ones in everything. Austerity won’t get you anywhere. You just need to eliminate impulsive purchases, plan your expenses and keep them under control.
- Let the husband feel a lack of funds for himself. Looks like old clothes, won’t see sausages in the fridge. This will work better than a hundredth reminder to buy your child sneakers. And even if he goes to the parents’ meeting himself, they also demand money.
- Give the reins of financial management to my husband. Let him plan expenses, know what and how much a family needs per month, what prices are in stores. And what the family can really afford for his salary.
- Appreciate your husband, recognize his authority. Leadership is in the blood in men. If you let go of control over the affairs of the family, then after a while the husband will take responsibility. The main thing is to wait. Any man seeks admiration for himself, wants to know that he is the best. See also: Husband or wife – who is in charge of the family?
- And, of course, praise. For starters, let it be a simple thanks for the delicious tea. Not comparing and not nagging your husband – this undermines his authority.
- Talk. If the relationship with your husband is trusting, then a simple conversation with the designation of a plan for the future is enough. For example, if a family wants to relax in an exotic country in the summer, then a certain amount of money is needed for this. It can be saved by saving several thousand every month. And what needs to be done to get them from the family budget: start saving or find a part-time job.
- Give birth to children. This is one of the strongest incentives for a husband to start bringing money into the house. And the more the better. The primitive instinct of the breadwinner and the hunter works in modern civilized men as well.
Taking on the role of a breadwinner is the wrong way out of the situation. You need to make your man a successful, self-sufficient person, a leader and, of course, the head of the family.
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