Japanese parenting system – 6 tips for parents

In infancy, the child is inseparable from the body of the parents. In childhood, he is weaned from the body, but his hand is not released. In the years of adolescence let go of the hand, but do not let it out of sight. During youth, the child disappears from the field of vision, but does not disappear from the heart.

Why is Japan’s parenting system attracting attention?

One of the distinguishing features of the peoples of this country is extreme tolerance for the beliefs of others. The Japanese do not prove or deny someone’s faith, but they themselves refer to two religions at the same time. Any thing is endowed with a deity, traditions are respected, they are very superstitious.

The Japanese do not show signs of attention in public, in their culture there are signs of collectivism.

Residents of a great economic power and one of the most developed countries in the world with an amazingly high standard of living, from the very birth are brought up according to a system on which more than one generation has grown up. Some countries are actively borrowing the methods of their development, while others, on the contrary, express doubts and misunderstandings.

Consider the main features of raising children in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Photo from Wikipedia

You might also be interested in: Shinto – what the Land of the Rising Sun believes in

1. An unbreakable bond between mother and child

When a child is born in a family, then all attention at first is riveted only to him. Nobody can argue with this now. But in Japan this “first” time lasts up to 5 years.

As in many countries, the mother goes on parental leave. In Russia, during this period, women are actively engaged not only with the baby, but also with themselves. They can work, meet friends, leave the baby with a nanny or grandparents.

In Japan, for such a lifestyle, a woman will be considered selfish. Despite the fact that in Japan there is a nursery for children from 3 months old, it is not customary to tear the child away from the mother so early.

Japanese engraving
A woman with a baby on her back. From the series “Types of Glorious Places. Portraits of Twelve Beauties “

In Japan, mother and child are one. During this period, an unbreakable bond is created, which lays trust, respect and love between them.

Read also: The birth and upbringing of children in Russia in the 10-15 centuries: what ceremonies did newborns go through and what the adolescents were able to do by the age of 14

2. Little emperor

Up to 5 years old, parents treat the child like an emperor. He is not prohibited from anything, but only warned about the consequences of actions. (it might hurt, hot, bad)… But if the child did hit, then the mother only blames herself.

Mom is always there, instantly reacts to the cry of the baby, puts to bed with her and feeds at the slightest demand.

It’s rare to see a crying baby in Japan.

Such “permissiveness” not only creates in the child the feeling that he is loved and good, but also helps to reduce moods, reduce attention deficit and form stress resistance.

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3. Socialization

In kindergarten, teachers change every six months, and there is a so-called reshuffle of the group. This technique is aimed at improving the socialization of the child and the development of communication skills.

In many other countries, parents are concerned that their child cannot find common ground with other children. In Japan, this practice allows a child not only to get the opportunity to communicate with a large number of other children, but also to find friends.

A frequent change of educators, according to Japanese scientists, is necessary so that children do not get used to one teacher. If the child’s relationship with one teacher did not work out, then with another they can be quite friendly. This approach does not allow the child to form a delusion that adults may not love him.

Japanese preschoolers at the party
Japanese preschoolers at the party
Photo from Wikipedia

Read also: Teacher’s advice for raising a child from 0 to 18 years old without screaming and punishing

4. Don’t stand out

In Japan, it is not customary to compare children with each other. The teacher or teacher does not single out the best and does not scold the worst. All children are equal. The principle is “don’t stand out”.

The main task of the kindergarten is not education, but instilling a sense of collectivism. The child is taught first of all to be a part of society and the interests of the group or collective come to the fore.

At school, children are taught to be responsible for their actions, taught to work. Priority is given to discipline, obedience, appearance and obedience to rules and regulations.

Japanese high school girl in uniform
Japanese high school girl in uniform
Photo from Wikipedia

5. Gender education

The upbringing of boys and girls has a number of significant differences.

Boys are future men, earners, support for the family. After school, they study in different circles or go to additional classes. So they are taught in advance to work. The key in educating future “samurai” is the ability to overcome difficulties and be ready to protect your family.

Japanese decoration
Japanese decoration (a large carp on top symbolizes the father)
Photo from Wikipedia

Girls, on the other hand, can spend their free time with their girlfriends. They are the future keepers of the hearth and in the first place for them housework: cooking, washing, caring for children and so on.

In Japan, being a businesswoman and trying to build a career is not welcome. This role is assigned to the strong half.

Pexels Photos

6. Loneliness is the worst punishment

A strong bond with the mother and belonging to a group are the most valuable things in a Japanese person’s life. The worst punishment for them is to be alienated or distant.

Parents do not raise their voices to their children and corporal punishment is unacceptable.

The most cruel thing for them is to be ridiculed, to be different from everyone in the group, or to be deprived of the attention of a father or mother.

Japanese pedagogy is aimed primarily at educating a person who is able to work harmoniously in a team. This is a prerequisite for life in the country.

Japanese preschoolers
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