Did you know that one in ten women escapes from their own wedding? And this after the guests were invited to the celebration, and the relatives of the bride and groom invested a lot of money in the event. The runaway bride often justifies her behavior by the fact that she has not yet met the one. However, psychologists point to deeper reasons.
What is Runaway Bride Syndrome
Have you seen Runaway Bride, a Hollywood movie starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? The main character of this film disrupted the wedding 4 times and left the grooms with a broken heart.
The real stories of some of the fair sex are not inferior to the film in terms of the intensity of passions. There are women who agree to marry a man, but break off the relationship at the most crucial moment. It is this behavior that psychologists have called Runaway Bride Syndrome.
Expert opinion: “The syndrome is typical for girls who are afraid of serious relationships. They are rapidly trying to find their one and only, and when they find – that’s it, the end of the love story! ” – psychologist Ekaterina Petrova.
Why women abandon grooms
Runaway Bride Syndrome should not be confused with pre-wedding excitement. The latter is experienced by almost all women, since marriage entails dramatic changes in their lives. In addition, organizing a wedding takes a lot of time and energy.
The true runaway bride syndrome even has a scientific name – gamophobia. This is an irrational fear of registering a relationship. Often, a woman herself does not understand why she is afraid to marry, and voices probable motives only in order to justify herself to others.
Psychologists name two main groups of reasons that lead to gamophobia:
- Bad experiences in personal life
Due to past failures in relationships (not only their own, but also their parents), a woman develops a negative image of marriage. Deep down, she doesn’t believe in family happiness. He is afraid that romance will break on the rocks of everyday life, and a man may begin to change or behave selfishly.
Expert opinion: “There is a situation when there is no warm relationship in the family. The father quarrels with the mother, does not pay attention to the child. The negative is fixed in the subconscious of the girl. And, having already become an adult, she is intuitively opposed to a wedding ”- psychologist Zhanna Mulyshina.
- Features of education
According to psychologist Maria Pugacheva, fear of a permanent relationship is a fairly common thing. In her mind, a woman forms the image of the only man who deserves her. And then he tries on a template for each partner and remains disappointed. She expects gifts from fate, but does not think to give something in return.
Parents can think of this kind of thinking. For example, a girl who was overprotected and pampered in her childhood often becomes a runaway bride.
How to spot a potential runaway
Nobody wants to become someone who has been spat in the soul. Especially in front of the registry office door. Psychologists give men helpful advice on how to recognize a fugitive.
Women who are not psychologically ready to build a family usually do the following:
- at the slightest problems in the relationship, they threaten the partner with parting;
- never make concessions;
- waiting for constant confirmation of love in the form of gifts, travel, sacrificial deeds;
- refuse to take the initiative;
- often criticize a man.
But why does the lady still accept the marriage proposal? Usually, a runaway bride agrees to the marriage under the influence of emotions, because an engagement is a beautiful gesture on the part of a man. Or a woman makes a decision because of the influence of others: parents, girlfriends, acquaintances.
Tips for Runaway Brides and Their Partners
How to deal with Runaway Bride Syndrome? A woman should analyze past experiences and find the true reasons for the fear of marriage. Perhaps visit a psychologist in the field of family relations.
A man who is determined to connect his life with an insecure lady will have to be patient and tactful. Obsession will only alienate the fugitive.
Expert opinion: “A woman must learn to live for herself. To act so that no events and men could violate her holistic image. Then the fear of entering into a long-term relationship will disappear ”- psychologist Maria Pugacheva.
Runaway Bride Syndrome is not a sentence. Negative beliefs about marriage can really change. But you have to find the true cause of the fear. It is useful to understand your complexes, formed in childhood, to stop projecting negative experiences onto your future life. Learn to hear the inner voice, and not succumb to the influence of others.
A man and a woman who love each other together can overcome any psychological barrier and create a happy family.
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