Sadhguru on what marriage is and whether a person needs it
In this article, yogi and mystic Sadhguru explains that marriage should not be a social “recipe for well-being,” but an individual choice based on the needs of each person.
What is marriage?
Let’s see why marriage exists. First of all, we all have certain needs. When you were 8 years old, if I asked you about marriage, this question would mean nothing to you. If I asked you when you were 14, you would be embarrassed, since you have already entered the stage of maturation and development of the body. If I asked you at age 18, you would answer either “yes,” or “no, not now,” or “no, no, no,” depending on what happened to you between the ages of fourteen and eighteen.
The word “marriage” may have acquired a somewhat negative connotation in our time. When you are young, you are against marriage because you perceive it as a bondage or a chain. But gradually, with age, when you become weak, you want to have a close and devoted person with you. I’m not saying marriage is bad. Do you want this, that is the question. Each person should understand himself, and not act in accordance with social norms and requirements.
In my opinion, partnerships need to be formed when you are at the peak of your well-being, because when you feel bad, you cling to any support, which is wrong.
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So, you have physical, emotional, psychological, social and economic needs. For the modern woman, for example, the world has changed. She doesn’t have to get married for social and economic reasons. She has a choice. This means that economic and social needs disappear. Three other types of needs remain. Now ask yourself questions. Do you psychologically need a companion in life? Do you need emotional communication? And how strong are your physical needs?
There is nothing wrong with marriage. But if you marry (or marry) unnecessarily, it will be a crime, because you will hurt yourself and another person. Be based only on your needs – not because society requires it, or because others are getting married.
Marriage or Cohabitation?
25-30% of people don’t want marriage because they don’t need it. 30-40% get married and even for the first 10-12 years feel relatively normal, but then it becomes a burden. And there are people who have a very strong need for marriage: about 25-30% need marriage for a much longer period.
Modern people have found another solution: “Okay, we’ll just live together.” However, if you live together, it is still a marriage, regardless of whether you have an official certificate or not.
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The importance of marriage (partnership)
Among the Indians (in Indian traditions) physical intimacy is called runanabandha, which means the physical memory of the body. If your body has too many memories, it will cause confusion and even suffering. You can clearly see this in the example of people who are not confident in their life and in their physical body. They never know real feelings of joy and happiness.
What should you do? If you think that marriage is unnecessary, then stick to it, and don’t rush from side to side. Live your life so that whatever you do, you feel balance and harmony.
Institute of marriage
Marriage brings discipline, aesthetics and stability, and also a man and a woman give birth to new life. I am not saying that marriage is the main thing, but do you have a better alternative? You can leave the puppy outside – you feed him and he will grow up to be a good dog. It doesn’t work with people. They need not only physical support, but also many other points of support, and, above all, a stable situation. And especially for a child.
Marriage is an informed choice
Getting married and having children is not a prerequisite for life. We would strongly recommend everyone to steam if humanity was endangered, but the number of people is growing rapidly.
If you get married and have a child, this is at least a 20-year project. If everything is going well for your child, your project is successful. If it doesn’t work out, be prepared that this will be your project for life. If you are ready for such a project, you need to create a stable situation for at least 20 years. Otherwise, do not get carried away with these projects, give up halfway and walk away.
How to make marriage work
Trying to find the perfect partner is to expect the impossible. In marriage or cohabitation, you usually have to share the same space. Therefore, every day you step on each other’s toes in one way or another, relatively speaking. Don’t look for the perfect man or the perfect woman. There is none of them. For a marriage to be successful, you don’t need the perfect person – you need integrity. You must act in unison. If you understand that your needs make you look for a partner, find someone who is compatible with you, whom you accept, respect, love, care for, plus take responsibility for each other.
Is the compatibility of horoscopes in marriage important?
It is good when the horoscopes coincide, but can two earthly fools automatically coincide? It’s impossible. That is, it is possible, but only if they, again, take responsibility for each other. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter how the stars are located there – in the end, nothing happens. It’s just that if you put the other person’s welfare ahead of your own, then your relationship will work. If your goal is to selfishly receive happiness from a partner, then no stars will help you with this.
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