Should a woman wear dresses, skirts, heels? The opinion of two experts from Bologny magazine, the dispute between a man and a woman

The modern world provides a person with great freedom of choice, including with regard to clothing: today a girl has the right to decide for herself what to wear – a skirt or trousers. But is it right to abandon strict gender boundaries, or is individuality most important? Two Bologny experts talked about this topic and offered their points of view.

Photo @looksandchic

Julia Klyukvina, expert stylist, woman

Last year, while on vacation, a funny incident happened to me: I, dressed in camouflage pants, sneakers and a black T-shirt, was mistaken for a teenage guy. And only when I spoke, the grandmothers walking next to me determined my gender.

Gender stereotypes about appearance and clothing are still very strong, especially in our country. And if in Europe a woman can safely leave the house without makeup, with a careless ponytail, in simple sports pants and sneakers, then the average Russian woman makes a lot of efforts in order to emphasize her femininity. And, it would seem, what’s the big deal?

Of course, striving for femininity and attractiveness is not bad, but another question: does everyone want this and does everyone perceive these concepts in the same way? We are accustomed to the fact that from childhood stereotypes about skirts, dresses, heels, long hair are instilled in us. A girl should love pink, wear dresses, sit still and play with dolls … But a person is not a robot.

Growing up, many of us are faced with internal dissonance, when our own preferences and feelings go against social foundations. And then an elementary question: “What if I want jeans, not a skirt ?!” can lead to sad consequences in the form of an abundance of complexes. A girl who, for one reason or another, does not meet the established criteria of femininity (clothes, colors, appearance), begins to feel “not that”, “wrong”, “unattractive”.

“Small breasts? Short hair? Jeans instead of a skirt? You look like a guy, you are ugly! “ – about such an axiom many people face in adolescence or already adulthood and live with the holy conviction that it is so. But in fact, such attitudes are a monstrous delusion, and the point here is not even a feminist or body-positive attitude, no.

The problem is that it is a huge mistake to try to narrow the concept of femininity and beauty. It is impossible, it is simply impossible to calculate a single standard in the form of wardrobe items, the length of the hair or the volume of the hips. Just remember Marlene Dietrich, who looked no less feminine in a man’s suit than Monroe in a dress. Or thin Twiggy with a boyish haircut, which became the standard of the whole decade.

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Photo @ autie_lotte

I often scroll through Instagram and constantly bump into modern young ladies trying to meet the unspoken criteria: enlarged breasts and lips, extended hair and eyelashes, bright makeup, tight-fitting clothes, languid poses.

Objectively: in such young ladies, femininity is not visible, a desperate cry is felt in them. They ask for approval, wait for likes and comments, but have absolutely no idea who they really are, because they hid their “I” somewhere far away so that it does not shine through behind push-ups, dresses and stilettos. And what is your “I”? This is what I was talking about at the beginning, how you feel. Raised on action films in the spirit of Tarantino, I – small and fragile – have always dreamed of being a tough girl, almost a superheroine.

And today, in my wardrobe, next to classic dresses, you can see ripped jeans, T-shirts, T-shirts. And it is in this form, in the form of the heroine Michelle Rodriguez, that I feel the most beautiful. Your image should reflect your inner “I”, regardless of what others expect from you – mom, grandmother, men, cats from the gateway. Because only by feeling real can you radiate confidence – the most attractive quality.

When dressing somewhere, remember: your femininity is not measured in the number of skirts and stilettos, not in the size of your breasts, and even more so not in the approval of men. It is determined only by your sense of self.

Sergey Ashmanov, teacher, nutritionist, male

For centuries, the manifestation of individuality, especially in women, has been a mandatory personality trait. This is especially acute now that a huge number of attributes have appeared that can express any of us: from clothes to all kinds of accessories.

Now you can see how many women allow themselves to wear men’s clothes, and men – women’s. As strange as it may seem, the modern world is such that everyone wants to stand out. Most likely, many people who have clothes of the opposite sex in their wardrobe will say: “I don’t want to stand out. I just like to walk like that. This corresponds to my inner mood ”and so on.

Well, let’s figure it out.

Let us first turn to history. Perhaps you can start with the Bible, where it is written that a woman should not wear men’s clothes and a man should not wear women’s clothes. It’s written in the Old Testament, Deuteronomy 22 verse. This is for believers. Now for those who do not consider such a law fair and just. Psychology tells us that if a man puts on women’s clothes, then this is most likely a psychological problem. If you go even further, then everything can develop into a mental one. There is also an opinion that when a woman starts wearing men’s clothes, this suggests that she wants not just to stand out, but wants to show her inner disagreement with a man.

My opinion is this: if a woman wants to be feminine, then she should wear a skirt, dress, sundress and so on. That is, the way it was from time immemorial. Including long hair, as the most important feature of a woman. What do you want? Do you want to be more courageous, stronger? Then please – wear shirts, pants, jeans, which, by the way, were invented for American farmers. “But it’s comfortable in pants!” – you tell.

Yes, it is comfortable, but that does not mean that a woman should wear them. I assure you that if a man starts to wear a skirt, if he is, of course, not a Scotsman, then, most likely, sooner or later he will end up in the “white house” with soft walls, start shaving his legs, grow his hair, and so on. It will be the same with women if they start wearing men’s clothes – they will resist men in every possible way, try to show their strength, their character.

But alas, such a woman will not be of interest to a normal man, for a woman is a flower. He must be fragile, tender. No wonder they say that a woman is the weaker sex. Because it is. Because only with a weak woman can there be a strong man.

the dress
Photo @ lirika.matoshi

By saying that a woman is the weaker sex, I do not mean that she cannot do anything and should indulge her husband in every way. No. This means that the woman will always stand behind the man’s back. Because the only way he can protect her from everything. A man is a problem solver. It has always been that way. He must always be responsible, first of all for his words and actions, and secondly for his wife and children. So if you want to be happy, if you want to have such a man next to you, then you have to be a weak, sweet girl, wear a dress, skirts and heels.

Do you think a girl should dress femininely? Whose point of view is closer to you?

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