Reaching a certain stage of life, some people do not see their life. They seem to live according to a script written by someone, neglecting their own goals and dreams. Life in this situation becomes unbearably boring and confusing.
It is important to recognize and overcome such a condition in time, as it has its consequences, including mental disorders.
The content of the article:
- Why people don’t want life with their lives
- 7 signs I’m not living my life
- Is it bad, what are the consequences
- What to do if you are not living your life
Why people do not know how or do not want to live their lives – the reasons
There can be many reasons for this condition. To understand why the attitude “I don’t want to live my life” arises, you need to remember the brightest (both positive and negative) life moments, and carefully work them out.
In most cases, the root of the problem is found in childhood or adolescence, for example:
- Parents actively imposed their desires on you until you yourself believed in it.
- You were jealous of your friend and unconsciously began to imitate her, adopted her desires and still live like this, copying the values of others.
- As a child, you may have been told by your parents that you are responsible for your little brother or sister.
The last point sounds quite fair, but only up to a certain point. Often this behavior of parents leads to the fact that an adult woman in her 35 years devotes her whole life to other people, feeling responsible for them.
People with such a childhood at a conscious age risk becoming dependent on the life of their relatives. At the same time, they do not have the feeling that they are not living their own lives. They are so used to it, and do not want to live differently, because they do not know what it is like.
7 signs I’m not living my life
Sometimes there are events that make it feel like we are not living our own lives. You can use the signs listed below to confirm or dispel your concerns.
You criticize everyone around you
When someone you know takes steps to success, you are sure to find a reason for criticism. This behavior is due to the feeling of one’s own unfulfillment.
On a subconscious level, you understand that this person is successful, he knows what he wants from life, and knows how to realize himself. Criticism in this case is a kind of defense mechanism.
You have a boring life
A boring life is when you have no motivation to wake up in the morning. You put in a ton of effort to get out of bed and get to work, and the rest of your day is overwhelmed by everything around you. You forcefully communicate with friends and relatives, you have no hobbies, and so on.
If this condition lasts more than two months, it may indicate depression. In this case, it is best to seek help from a specialist.
But, if no disorders are identified, it means that you simply do not live your life.
You are annoyed by the enthusiasm of others.
Under normal circumstances, loved ones support each other. For example, when your relatives, friends or acquaintances share with you happy news for them, you should share positive emotions with them.
But, for some reason, instead, you are covered with a wave of irritation.
Thoughts on a change of scenery
You often have thoughts about changing your job, environment, or even country. You think it’s your friends, work colleagues, and family who are keeping your life back. It seems to you that as soon as you change your surroundings, your life will immediately improve.
Sometimes it really helps – but, more often than not, only the external environment changes, but inside everything remains the same.
Your priority is money and status
Of course, money is needed for existence, and career growth increases self-esteem. But, if you put all this in the first place – most likely, you live according to a scenario imposed by society. So if you feel like you’re not living your life, you should consider prioritizing.
For happy people, the priority is the realization of their abilities and the embodiment of desires.
It seems to you that life is passing by
During the working day, you think about getting home soon, and at home you think about the weekend coming soon, and so on. This is due to the fact that you consider your activity to be meaningless.
You need to get rid of such a state quickly, otherwise life will really pass you by.
You have no life purpose
You do not set goals for yourself, lower the bar in life and try to convince yourself that you are already fine. If you find it difficult to answer the question of whether you have a goal, most likely you don’t.
If a person has a goal, he does not need time to formulate it, he thought of everything long ago and moves towards it.
Is it bad if not to live your life, what are the consequences
Many, after reading the above signs, partially or completely recognized themselves. Perhaps it even seemed to some that there was nothing on this list that needed to be dealt with.
But, in fact, a condition called “not one’s own life” can be dangerous.
If you realize that you seem to be living your own life, this cannot be ignored. Life by inertia can lead to frustration.
Frustration is a state when a person waits for something for a long time, but it does not happen, or it does not happen at all as expected.
Frustration, in turn, can provoke ailments such as:
- Disbelief in oneself.
- Prolonged depression.
What to do if you suddenly feel like you are not living your life
To stand still, go with the flow or slowly move towards your goal – everyone decides for himself. But, if you want to get rid of this feeling, you need to act immediately. The more you delay, the more serious the consequences will be.
The tips below will help you get rid of this condition.
Take responsibility into your own hands
Realize the fact that your life is completely in your hands, and no one but you is responsible for it. In everything that is happening now, you should only blame yourself, and not your friends, relatives or work colleagues.
To start living your life, you need to accept the situation, understand what factors led to it – and eliminate them.
Overcome your fears
Fear is the main factor that keeps you from moving on, so it needs to be eradicated first.
Think about what you fear the most, and then describe the worst-case scenario. This will help you understand that, in fact, most of your fears are unfounded. It has been scientifically proven that 80% of women’s fears are associated with events that never happened, and are unlikely to ever happen.
Fears cloud the vision of reality, so they need to be dealt with.
If it seems to you that you are not living your life, stop following the imposed standards. You will not enjoy life if you do what you yourself don’t want to do. Just be yourself.
Don’t compare yourself to your friends and coworkers. The only person with whom you can compare yourself is yourself at different stages of life. Learn to listen to yourself and not to the opinions of others.
To follow your own path in life, you need to not lose your individuality, always remember your values and desires.
Live in the present
A person does not live his life if he is obsessed with his past – or constantly fantasizes about the future. Your thoughts should be completely focused on the present… You cannot constantly delve into the past, you need to draw certain conclusions – and let it go.
Realize that you can only change your life in the present tense, so it is useless to sort out events from the past, reproach yourself and regret anything.
Set yourself a goal
Setting the right life goal can be time consuming, but worth it. Psychologists are often asked the question “I don’t live my life, what should I do?” – and, most often, this is due to the fact that a person does not have his own life guidelines.
If you cannot set a conscious goal, remember what seemed important to you and made sense before. On this and rely on when setting your current goal.
It is important to constantly ask yourself the question “why am I doing this?”
- For example, if you feel uncomfortable in the company of your own friends, you should ask the question “why am I talking to them?” If this communication bothers you, it may be better to pause it.
- It’s the same with the profession: “I myself wanted to become what I became, or did my parents want it?”
Perhaps, in the course of answering these questions, you will want to change the field of activity and look at life in a different way.
To get rid of the condition called “not living my life”, you will have to act radically. Leave the hated job, the burdensome friends, the oppressive soul mate – and so on. In general, exclude from your life that which makes you dislike and prevents you from moving forward.
And, of course, find a goal that will become your life guide…
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