Our world is becoming more and more virtual. The Internet has become a place of rest and entertainment, work, a means of communication with distant friends and completely unknown people, a second wallet and even a place for virtual dates. The controversy and jokes about virtual love and its consequences / prospects do not subside.
Does this love have a future? What are the dangers? And why are many of us looking for love on the Internet?
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See also: Where else can you find your chosen one, besides the Internet?
Why is it so easy to find love online and develop virtual relationships?
The Internet offers a lot of opportunities for expressing your emotions and for communication – smilies, dating sites, resources of interest, instant messages, etc. There are a lot of temptations, there are even more opportunities to get to know each other. Moreover, many people give preference to dating on the Internet, in reality bypassing potential “halves” per kilometer.
Why is love breaking out faster on the Internet than in real life?
- A dire need for attention… If in real life there is not enough emotion, communication and attention (and many are really deprived of it due to circumstances), the Internet becomes almost the only opportunity to feel needed by someone.
- Internet addiction… Social networks and sites of interest draw a person into the world wide web very quickly. Life in reality fades into the background. Because it is there, on the Internet, that we (as it seems to us) are understood, expected and loved, and at home and at work – only innuendo, quarrels and fatigue. On the Internet, we have practically no punishment and we can be anyone; in reality, you need to be responsible for your words and actions. The dependence becomes the stronger, the poorer the person’s real life.
- Ease of making new acquaintances and “friends”. It’s easy on the internet. I went to a social network or a site of interest, threw a couple of phrases, clicked on the “traditional” heart in the photo – and you were noticed. If you are original, principled and smart, pouring humor right and left, and in your photo there is unearthly beauty (“so what, what’s photoshop! And who knows something?”), Then a crowd of fans is provided for you. And there, and not far from the favorites (with all that it implies).
- Few dare to decide on the first step to acquaintance in real life. Meeting your half is even more difficult. On the Internet, everything is much simpler. You can hide behind the mask of an “avatar” and fictitious information about yourself. You can turn into a model with a 5th chest number or a tanned athlete with a Hollywood smile and a Porsche in the garage. Or, on the contrary, you can remain yourself and enjoy it, because in real life you have to keep yourself in check. And it seems – here he is! Such a charming, courageous – clever speech, courtesy … And how he jokes! Innocent virtual flirting flows into e-mail, then into Skype and ICQ. And then real life completely fades into the background, because all life is in these short messages “from Him”.
- In reality, hoaxes are meaningless. “Hu from hu” – you can see right away. On the Web, you can distort your “I” ad infinitum, until the one “bites” the one from whose speeches you will not fall asleep at night.
- The image of the person on whom we focus our attention on the Internet draws, for the most part, our imagination. What it really is is unknown, but we already have our own “levels” and ideas about what it should be like. And, of course, on the other side of the monitor simply cannot sit a nerd with glasses interested only in cockroaches in his aquarium, or a blurry housewife with cucumbers on her face! The more illusions, the richer our imagination, the harder it is later to realize that at that “end” of the Internet there is a person just like you. Possibly with knees stretched out in sweatpants, with a bicycle instead of a Porsche, with (oh, horror) a pimple on the nose.
- It is easier for strangers (this happens on trains, with fellow travelers) to reveal their feelings. Ease of communication creates the illusion of mutual interest.
- It is almost impossible to see a person’s flaws on the net. Even if the resume honestly says “Gluttonous, impudent snob, I adore women, freebies and money, unprincipled, attracted, consisted, who doesn’t like the book of complaints around the corner” – this person brings a smile and, oddly enough, immediately disposes to himself. Because it’s intriguing, creative and daring.
- The biggest problem that virtual love can deliver is the rupture of the “epistolary novel” via ICQ or mail. That is, no pregnancy, alimony, or division of property. etc.
- Mystery, inscrutability, obligatory veil of “secrecy” – they always spur interest and feelings.
What are the dangers of virtual love: relationships on social networks and possible consequences
Dangers of online dating in masks. Yes, you read that right. A person in the 21st century leads 2 types of life: online and offline. In both types, we put on social masks, pretending to be personalities that we are not really. That is, the danger of online dating is that you can form a certain opinion about the interlocutor, but it does not correspond to him. As a result, upon closer acquaintance, your rose-colored glasses will fall off and you will realize that you were mistaken.
How can you protect yourself from unjustified expectations? The answer is simple – don’t create illusions about your online acquaintance. Understand that this person has not yet earned your absolute trust. Therefore, no matter what he writes or says via video link, do not lose your vigilance. Maintain your distance until you realize that you know him well. For this, at least 2-3 months must pass.
Benefits of Online Dating
- A sweet, gentle and touchingly courteous person on the Internet can turn out to be a real dictator in life. Not to mention more severe cases (we will not consider maniacs with chainsaws).
- The information that is about a person on the Internet does not always correspond to reality. It is quite possible that his place of residence is fictitious, the photo was downloaded from the network, instead of a name – a pseudonym, instead of a blank page in his passport – a stamp from the registry office, and several children, whom he, naturally, was not going to abandon for you.
- To indulge oneself with an illusion – “they say, appearance is not the main thing” – is a mistake in advance. Even if in reality a person really turns out to be a gentle romantic with great wealth, his appearance, voice and manner of communication may terrify you already at the first meeting.
- Quite often “virtual love” ends with quite real quarrels, as a result of which the “secret of personal correspondence”, photographs, as well as intimate and life details become public knowledge.
As you communicate with virtual “love”, the boundaries between reality and the Internet are gradually erased – there is a chronic fear of breaking this thread, the connection with a person. But real feelings cannot last indefinitely within the Network – sooner or later they will have to be interrupted or go into the phase of real communication. And then the question arises – is it necessary? Will this meeting be the beginning of the end?
Love on the Internet is a meeting in real life: is it necessary to continue a virtual relationship, and in what cases can this be done?
So, the question – to meet or not to meet – is on the agenda. Is it worth crossing this line? Maybe leave everything as it is? Of course, there can be no advice here – everyone draws their own destiny.
But some of the nuances are worth considering:
- Fear of meeting in reality is normal. The Chosen One can really disappoint and alienate you. But if you don’t see it, you won’t know. And what if this is the “one” whom I have been waiting for all my life?
- Falling in love with the image created on the web is one thing. And it is quite another to fall in love with a real person with real shortcomings. Complete rejection of each other at the first meeting is a clear sign that the relationship will not work out.
- Frustrated by the looks of your virtual lover? The muscles turned out to be not so outstanding, and the smile is not so snow-white? Thinking of running away from your first date? This means that you were not so fascinated by his inner world, since such a trifle was able to “knock you out of the saddle.” Maybe he is not even an athlete at all, and he does not have money for a fancy restaurant, but he will be the best dad in the world and the most caring husband. Be prepared to be disappointed. Because there are no ideal people in the world.
- You should definitely not meet outside the virtual if you do not know anything about “beloved», Except for e-mail, photograph (which may not be his) and name.
- Do you want to meet, and he constantly takes the conversation in a different direction? This means that either he has enough virtual relationships, or he is married, or he is afraid to reveal himself to you from the real side, or he is afraid to be disappointed in you.
- If you don’t want to disappoint the person, be honest. Not too frank (after all, this is the Internet), but sincere. That is, do not lie, do not embellish reality, do not add delicious charms, a smooth face and emerald eyes to yourself in Photoshop. Falsehood will never be the beginning of a strong union.
- Prepare for the first and last meeting, and your “ideal” will not become your soul mate.
- If you already have a family in reality, think a hundred times before destroying it for a virtual romance. As a result, you can lose your family and be disappointed in virtual love.
Was the meeting excellent? Are your emotions overwhelmed? And this is “exactly he”? So, the Internet gave you a chance for happiness.… Build relationships, love and enjoy life!
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