Yesterday you were touched by the way he sips tea, sleeps funny, boldly walks around the apartment in his underwear. And today, not only the socks thrown by the bed are annoying, but also the voice in the morning.
What’s happening? Is the period of romance over and a harsh reality together has begun? Or is love dead? Or maybe you just need to be patient, and this is the period in family relationships?
The content of the article:
- Your loved one began to annoy you …
- Reasons why your beloved husband or boyfriend is annoying
- How to deal with irritation, save love and relationships?
A loved one began to annoy you – we study irritants
Almost all women are irritable in relation to a loved one, to a spouse. And, of course, the point is not that “irritability is a stage in a relationship,” or that “after a year of family life, new trials begin.”
The most common cause of irritability is when you remove your rose-colored glasses. Unlike men, who are more skeptical about reality initially, women, at the stage of the candy-bouquet period, tend to paint over the missing pluses and paint over the minuses for their novel heroes.
And the surprise of a woman is quite understandable, when one day the trail of romance dissipates, and her man is found under it, but in his natural appearance – with all the shortcomings.
There can be only two exceptions:
- When in a state of romantic love that obscures the eyes, a woman is constantly. As a rule, this is the merit of a wise man, or their love really turned out to be the same one sung in books, films, poems.
- When a woman initially soberly assesses reality – and in advance has come to terms with the shortcomings of a loved one. That is, she accepted him as he is.
In all other cases, reality comes to a woman as an insult to a child who, instead of candy, is imperceptibly slipped into his mouth with a piece of “useful kohlrabi”.
From under the removed rose-colored glasses it suddenly becomes clearly visible that the Hero of your novel …
- Doesn’t always smell attractive as expensive eau de toilette.
- Doesn’t put the toilet seat down.
- Brews one tea bag 2 times.
- Lazily lying on the couch with a tablet after a hard day at work instead of taking you on romantic walks like before.
- Doesn’t come every day with a bouquet and a plush hare.
- The parasite does not notice that you bought new underwear and beautiful curtains.
- For some reason, she is no longer touched by long trips to the shops with you.
- Doesn’t compliment in the morning.
- Doesn’t take you suddenly in the middle of the week for a divine picnic by the lake.
Naturally, this is all outrageous! How can he at all! A scoundrel and a scoundrel.
In fact, after a certain amount of time spent side by side, not only rose-colored glasses fly off, but also your own attitudes. You stop playing with each other, like on stage, and both open up to each other like open books.
On the one hand, this suggests that you have become really close people to each other. You no longer need to smile theatrically, admire, be touched. No need to pretend that you wake up already with gorgeous makeup, sleep in erotic poses and wear exclusively a silk robe and stiletto sandals at home. You finally got to know each other intimately – and that’s a plus.
Yes, you may not like all the pages of an open book, but that’s okay too. Simply because we are all different, and idealizing each other is a temporary phenomenon.
The reasons why your beloved husband or boyfriend is annoying – is there a reason in yourself?
You accepted and realized the idea that you idealized your strong half too much. But the irritability has not gone anywhere.
What to do with it?
Analyze your irritation.
- Are you annoyed by everyday little things and suddenly discovered unpleasant habits of your loved one? Chomping and an open tube of pasta, a bag of trash forgotten at home, bananas that he did not buy on the list, the clatter of a spoon in a cup, walking around the apartment in boots, and so on.
- Or have you become annoyed by his very presence in your life? His voice, gestures, smell, touch, laughter, thoughts, etc.?
If you recognized yourself in the second option, then you urgently need to deal with your family life, because your ship of love is rapidly flying to the reefs.
If your option is more likely the first, then start looking for the causes of irritation … with yourself.
So, where can the “legs” of your irritation grow from?
- You, as mentioned above, took off your rose-colored glasses. You became close enough to see each other in all their glory, and without your rose-colored glasses, your spouse turned out to be a completely ordinary man. Who loves to relax after work, who is not capable of nightly intimate marathons, who also wants attention, affection, rest and understanding (what a shameless one!).
- Everything annoys you. Because, for example, you are pregnant. Or you have hormonal problems. Or there is another very specific reason that makes you annoyed at everything and everyone.
- You are a princess. And you are not satisfied that they no longer want to carry you in their arms, give millions of roses and get stars from the sky every day.
- He’s too tired. And he simply does not have the strength to remain a knight on a white horse after an exhausting working day.
- You yourself have ceased to be a princess for him., as a result of which he lost the reason to be a prince, a knight, a hunter. First, why take care of a princess who is already yours. And secondly, where does romance come from if the princess meets you from work in old sweatpants, without makeup and a delicious dinner, with cucumbers on her face and in worn-out slippers. And even with a cigarette in his teeth, through which three-story curses are spewed out on this unjust world.
- Your life is like groundhog day. And the monotony ruined many young families. If this is the case, everything is in your hands.
- You are not satisfied with your intimate life.
- You are tired of everyday problems.
- You are carried away by someone else. A woman can lie to herself endlessly, but if a new man appears on the horizon who inspires her, then the man with whom she lives instantly “becomes overgrown with flaws.” Because that one over there seems to be completely different from the guy already on the board, whom you know from cowards to the most secret thoughts. And this interesting new man on the horizon (with whom you may only communicate in one of the chats at all) is sure to twist the cap of the paste, not tossing his socks or skimping on tea bags. Is it so? No. You are just idealizing again. But already a different man. Don’t lose your tit while learning a new crane.
- You are tired of family life in general. You don’t want to share anything, cook dinners, wait from work, run a marafet on your day off, entertain his guests, and so on. You want silence, freedom, loneliness.
- You spend too much time together. For example, you work together. If you are around the clock with each other, then fatigue and irritation is quite normal. You just don’t have time to miss each other.
- He ceased to be that Hero who “with one hand” solved all problems for you. Here, too, everything is not so simple. In most cases, it is women who cause men to stop being heroes. The more powerful a woman becomes in a relationship, the more often she “dictates her will”, the more often she shows independence in resolving certain issues, the less a man has a desire to be Atlanta, on whose shoulders everything rests. And why, if the wife took on this role?
What to do if your loved one is annoying more and more – 10 ways to deal with irritation and save love and relationships
How to deal with this irritation?
But in no way.
You do not need to fight with it – you need to understand the reason, draw conclusions and take appropriate steps.
- Accept your soul mate as your soul mate – with all the flaws. Realize them and just accept them as they are. The most serious, “global” shortcomings can be discussed with your beloved, but be prepared to change yourself too (for sure, he sees the disadvantages in you that he would like to change).
- Do not communicate with your loved one in an orderly tone. Kind humor combined with tenderness and affection is more powerful than any ultimatums.
- Do not expect a snowball of your accumulated grievances. – solve all problems at once.
- Understand yourself and become a realist. The lion’s share of your irritation stems from your own problems or your own exaggerated expectations.
- Change your lifestyle, environment more often, arrange a positive shake-up for your social unit – through joint vacations, travel, and so on.
- Never compare your soul mate with anyone. Even in thoughts. It only seems that “but if I had married Vanya, and not Petya …” or that “that charming romantic over there will definitely not be such a snob,” and so on. Romance with any man ends sooner or later, and family life is always the same. Whoever you start a new life with will still have everyday problems, scattered socks (keys, money, paste caps …), fatigue, and so on. Learn to appreciate what has already been built.
- It is not the man in family life that changes – your view of her and your perception is changing. Soberly assess all the bad habits of a man before starting a family life with him. And if you accepted him as he is, then take care of the romance of your relationship. The candy-bouquet period can last forever if you so desire. Men also want their wives to remain as gentle, caring and light as they were at the stage of dating.
- Don’t forget about personal space. Even with the warmest and most tender relationship, both sides sometimes have a desire to be alone. For creativity, for recuperation, but you never know why. Do not take away such an opportunity from each other and take this desire adequately.
- A man’s behavior is largely dependent on a woman. Perhaps you yourself make him the way you no longer like him.
- Don’t make an elephant out of a fly. Women tend to invent things that don’t really exist. While men do not even suspect that he “deliberately” offends her. More often than not, just a hint is enough, and the problem is solved.
If the irritation becomes like an avalanche, and you are annoyed by the very existence of this person next to you, then it’s time to take a break in your relationship and have a serious talk with your man.
Remember that any relationship is always a joint daily effort of two people. To light a family hearth is not enough. It goes out quickly if you do not throw firewood into it.
Have you had similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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