And the relationship, it seems, is not 1 day. And you always look beautiful and well-groomed. And pancakes for him in the morning with strawberry jam, and coffee in bed. But you won’t get gifts and flowers from him. Cooper? Or just does not see the need for it? But it can be so offensive – you want signs of attention, but in response … nothing.
What is the reason and how to change this situation?
The content of the article:
Why does a man not give gifts and flowers – looking for reasons
The reasons are as old as the world, and there are not so many of them.
Let’s list the main ones:
- Choosing a gift for your woman is an eternal problem for a man. As a rule, one has to choose between the necessary and the useful, the pleasant and “so that all the friends are envious”, the original and “if only she likes it.” In this case, the woman is to blame – she is too demanding of gifts, and the man is simply lost. Over time, he decides not to torture himself with a choice and just don’t give anything.
- Flowers are pointless waste. Because “all the same, this broom will wither, but it costs a whole lot of money.” There is some truth in this. But no one asks a million scarlet times. For most women, even a modest bunch of lilies of the valley and cornflowers will be pleasant. If only from the heart.
- Doesn’t want to corrupt with gifts. What if she gets used to it? And with the emergence of such a habit, the requirements for gifts will begin to change …
- Your relationship is not at that stage yet.to pamper you with gifts.
- You are tested for “selfishness and commercialism”. A kind of test – are you able to love him just like that, for his beautiful eyes. What if you only want his money?
- He doesn’t have enough funds for surprises.
- He’s just obscenely greedy, is too practical and does not see the need for gifts and surprises.
- He has already conquered you. And he sees no need to do it again with gifts.
- He is not going to take your relationship to a more serious level. And the scheme of relations “toss and drop” does not imply such costs. Meaning?
- You react incorrectly to his gifts. – ironically, indifferently, critically, with a share of contempt, or in some other way. Which, of course, hits his pride.
- Going shopping is a real test for him.
- He has a bad memory, and he simply forgets all the holiday dates. And he does not consider it necessary and correct to give gifts with flowers outside the holidays.
- He’s already spending too much on you. For example, he constantly pays for you in stores, takes you to movies and restaurants, etc.
The most popular reasons are unchanged: he simply does not know what to give, or does not see the point in it. AND, in most cases, the woman is to blame in the fact that “was left without gifts.”
By the way, for similar reasons, a man does not say “I love” and affectionate words …
It is necessary to analyze the situation and draw conclusions. And only then act …
How to get your loved one to give gifts and flowers – proven feminine tricks
If life without gifts and flowers seems meager to you, it makes sense to engage in “re-education” of the chosen one. Not in the literal sense, of course – we correct the habits of a loved one diplomatically and unobtrusively.
- Men don’t take hints. If you tell your husband about a friend whom your spouse gave “well, just amazing earrings, just like in our jewelry on the corner!”, He will not understand that you want them too. It is necessary to hint correctly – showing your husband these earrings in the store and “hinting imperceptibly” that you have been dreaming about them for already 3 years. Or bluntly declaring in a cafe that “they cook just awesome cakes with icing!”
- Do you really want that wonderful handbag, leather gloves and a huge vase in the Greek style? Open the notebook, write the subtitle “my dreams” and enter all our wishes there (in addition, you can paste photos so that the husband does not confuse anything). Further, “accidentally” we forget our “secret” notebook on the bed.
- At a family dinner, we unobtrusively talk about the fact that everything said and written tends to materialize (you supposedly read about it on the Internet). We softly saw through on the theme – “Many draw their desires on posters, and then these desires, you will not believe, really come true! It works! ” After that, it remains only to take whatman paper, beautifully paste all your desires on it (from new powder to travel) and hang it on the wall. From your sighs, heard every time you walk past the poster, the spouse will quickly get tired and turn into a real fairy godfather. Or he will simply throw out whatman paper with the words “I told you – all this is nonsense” (here you’re so lucky).
- We spoil our spouse with surprises. It is naive to wait for magic unilaterally – men also want attention to themselves. No big gifts needed – just spoil him with small and original surprises. Does he like sweets? Throw a chocolate bar with a note into his work briefcase (bag). Is your favorite watch broken? Buy new ones, pack nicely and hide in the closet on his shelf with socks. In the evening, put his favorite chocolate candy in the sugar bowl and attach a note to it with duct tape – “To raise the level of endorphins. Sweet morning to you, darling. “
- Complain in a phone conversation with your momthat you suddenly found “that very lipstick” (mascara, blouse, shoes, etc.) that you dreamed about, but you don’t have enough money for it. Be honest about your “upset feelings”. Naturally, he should hear your conversation.
- Talk to dad. Let him gently hint to a son-in-law – they say, “Women need to be pampered, then they become docile, white and fluffy.” Naturally, this hint should look like an independent initiative of the Pope, and not like your request transmitted through him.
- Doesn’t he give you gifts for the holidays? Refresh his memory: Mark in advance on your wall calendar (which, of course, hangs in a conspicuous place) significant dates.
And the most important thing…
Love and commercialism are incompatible things. It’s one thing to hint your soul mate at birthday earrings or tiny surprises that you miss so much as his tokens, and it is quite another to demand gifts from a person who already gives you everything… Or from a person whose salary you already barely make ends meet with.
How to properly accept flowers and gifts from your beloved man – learn, girls!
The more a man “invests” (in every sense) in his woman, the more he values her… This is a fact, against which, as they say, “you cannot argue.”
But this does not mean that a man who simply does not consider gifts to be a necessity does not give a damn about you. Everything is individual. Moreover, where there are “two” both are always to blame…
In order not to discourage your soul mate from giving you gifts, avoid mistakes.
- Do not wrinkle your nose, do not wry, if the gift is not to your liking. Also, do not criticize – “but I wanted a flower!” or “what is this creepy smell ?!” The man will simply get tired of your eternal discontent and stop experimenting. In the end, we already know how to get rid of unsuccessful gifts …
- Even worse is your indifference. He tried, searched, chose, solemnly handed over to please you. And you, having thrown the duty “Thank you”, nodded and returned to your business. It is clear that the man will be offended. The insult will pass over time, but “the residue will remain.”
- As much as you would like to exclaim – “Why do I need this rubbish? The closet is already breaking from her! ”, Be condescending. Smile and thank your spouse. If it’s really hard, then remember your sense of humor (it always helps to avoid an awkward pause and “move out” of an uncomfortable topic). But do not react too violently and enthusiastically to the present. Firstly, your husband has known you for more than one day and will immediately understand that you are lying. Secondly (if, nevertheless, he knows you badly, or you are a professional actress), compare your delight with a gift. If you fall into ecstasy from a plaster napkin holder, then you can not give anything else.
- Don’t forget to appreciate its great taste. Even if these shoes were fashionable 40 years ago, or you fundamentally do not wear things with a leopard print (wear at home – for him).
- Forget phrases like – “Well, you didn’t have to spend so much money!”, “Stop transferring money to flowers – they will wither anyway” or “You are my best gift, I don’t need anything else”. A man perceives these words exactly the way you pronounce them – he will not look for a “double bottom”. He will act according to the principle – “Well, if it is not necessary, then I will not.”
- It’s not about the words of gratitude you say to your husband, but about your overall reaction to the gift. The man will remember exactly your emotions. If your mood lifted and you jumped to bake him pancakes for joy – this will be the best answer for a man to the question “did you like the gift”.
- Never beg for gifts (and even more so flowers) from your dearest half. Besides the joy of receiving gifts, there is also the joy of giving them. Which is lost if the gift is not an expression of the free will of a man, but in fact a compulsion.
- Do not rush to demonstrate your independence to him. It’s great that a strong-willed adult woman who has long been able to buy everything for herself. But next to him, you should be gentle, sophisticated, vulnerable and shy. Do not take an “equal position” – the man will feel uncomfortable. And why give you anything at all, if you buy everything for yourself.
- Be sure to show off his gift in front of family and friends. Naturally, in the presence of her husband. Even if he frowns and waves his hands – “Oh, that’s it!” – you know, he is pleased. An exception is personal gifts. Leave everything personal only between you.
And the most important thing: if gifts come first, then there is no need to talk about any love.
Love is when you are happy already from the fact that you wake up next to him. And so that the feelings do not cool down, it is necessary to properly feed them.
Have you had similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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