Why people gossip – the pros and cons of gossip, harm and benefit
Some people think that gossip is a terrible habit. Others do not see anything wrong with this. But always, the word “gossip” is surrounded by a negative aura.
But is this always the case? What does love say about gossip?
The content of the article:
- Gossip functions
- The harm and benefits of gossip
- What Gossip Habit Says About
- How to deal with gossip
Functions of gossip in society – why do people gossip?
No matter how scary gossip may seem, these are just words. Yes, such conversations can lead to certain actions and consequences, but they are not harmful.
However, you should not try to harm with words. They hurt too.
Often, this is an exchange of information, interesting news or funny situations. The conversation doesn’t start with gossip. Usually, when meeting, people start a discussion of their problems, common topics. And, already in the process, they recall the moments associated with third parties. So the conversation turns into gossip. Rarely does anyone start a conversation with a focused discussion of someone.
Sometimes gossip serves to understand the interlocutor’s attitude to a certain topic… Let’s say a girl wants to ask her friend how she feels about buying an apartment in secret from her husband. And she tells it like “gossip about their mutual friend.” She projects this desire of hers as an example of another person. Thus, she will receive an honest answer from her friend – and will already decide whether to reveal her cards to her or not. A convenient and safe way to find out the required information.
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The harm and benefits of gossip – what can the language lead to?
- In addition to sharing information, conversations help get rid of negative emotions or obsessive thoughts… Sometimes a person just needs to speak out – and, indeed, it becomes easier. As if a heavy load falls from the shoulders and the heart.
- Sometimes in the process, there are unexpected discoveries… For example, the interlocutors begin to spin a ball of gossip – and understand why they pay attention to it. Gossip is a kind of friendly psychotherapy that takes place in a cozy kitchen over a cup of tea.
- An opportunity to learn interesting or useful facts, which at some point will play an important role.
However, negative gossip can harm the gossip target and the gossipers themselves:
- For example, discussing another person’s problems for a long time can lead to a fixation on that person. That is, a person ceases to live his life – and dissolves into something else.
- Constant gossip draws out a lot of strength and energy. And to replenish these forces, you need to gossip even more. But this leads to anger and emotional exhaustion.
- Moreover, if a person gossips a lot and with different people, the circle of his friends will rapidly decrease. And those who stay with him are unlikely to be real friends.
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Love to gossip – what can this habit say about your character and life
Often people who like to gossip are unhappy… They are not satisfied with their lives and try to find flaws in others. They reflect self-doubt at the object of gossip. They also often compare the person to themselves, and put themselves in an advantageous position. That is, they create the illusion of the ideality of their life.
Such people surrounded by similar specimenssince successful people are not interested in discussing someone else’s life.
The desire to denigrate the achievements, successes of other people – direct evidence of insolvency… Such people did not grow up as individuals. Their progress has stalled, and to hide it, they discuss people with worse situations.
However, it is worth remembering that the subject of gossip can change his life. But the gossips themselves, more often than not, get stuck in one state… They switch to a new victim, while they themselves remain in place.
How to resist gossip and stop gossiping yourself
Girls who gossip are often very worried and desperate.
However, it is worth remembering a simple truth:
“You cannot influence the desire of another person to make you feel bad.”
If the gossip is false, it will not be confirmed anyway and will simply dissolve. So you shouldn’t worry about false statements at all…
However, if the gossip describes some real fact, the main thing is don’t try to prove otherwise… Justifying themselves and trying to whiten their reputation, girls only tighten up the situation. This behavior gives rise to new gossip, which is starting to be picked up by an increasing number of people. That is why they prove guilt in court, not innocence.
If everything is clear with actions in relation to gossip, then how to survive them morally?
If you do not know who starts the gossip, you should find out. Rate your circle of friends and tell them one piece of news – but with little distinctive details. And which version spreads faster, that and the greatest gossip. Immediately exclude such people from your life, and do not waste time on regrets.
Lead a normal life, try to pay attention to positive moments. Discard negativity and clear communication paths. Remove all information noise and other people’s gossip.
If you like to gossip, try to get rid of this habit… Remember that these same gossips have brought problems to you.
Even if no one starts gossip about you, this is not a reason to gossip with everyone. Otherwise it will have the opposite effect.
To avoid judging others, be mindful of your conversations.
Whenever you want to say something, think about it:
- Why do I want to say this? What are my personal experiences, problems that make me condemn this part of another person’s life?
- Would I like it to be said about me? Would I like such thoughts and facts to arise in the minds of people who are looking at me?
It will be strange at first. You can even quietly write down your thoughts. When talking to a friend, write down all the points you wanted to gossip about. Come home – and carefully disassemble everything point by point. Do not be lazy, give this analysis at least once.
Believe me, from the second time it will be easier for you to simply keep the rumor out, so that later you can ponder all the consequences and your motives.
But, as already mentioned, gossip is not only negative emotions.
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However, in order to get pleasure, joy and relief, you need to approach this issue correctly:
- Don’t gossip about the person with whom you gossip and talk the most. Gossip is a sacrament during which you also share your experiences and problems. You hear the same from the interlocutor. If you tell someone else about this person, you will lose your girlfriend, comrade-in-arms, interlocutor and the guarantee of the safety of your secrets.
- Beware of strangers… Making new friends is always a positive and rewarding experience. But, if the acquaintance begins with a discussion of gossip, this is already a call. Probably, your new acquaintance only wants information. He may act deliberately to obtain information or to verify you. Or just being a gossip, which is also not a good trait.
Don’t give too much weight to gossip. However, remember that all the words you speak in the other person may come back. And, often, these words, like a ball, will become overgrown with rumors and new gossip. And it’s difficult to get rid of this, because you will be presented with your own words.
To sleep well, only gossip with loved ones and loyal people. Don’t be negative about other people. Do not wish evil so as not to receive it in return.
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