We worry about our loved ones for important reasons and for trifles. We are constantly replaying scenarios of a negative future in our heads, worrying and winding ourselves up. Sometimes we worry about loved ones even more than about ourselves.
The reason for increased anxiety about their loved ones
There is only one reason – we can responsibly control our lives and cannot do it for our loved ones at all. It is impossible to put your head on a loved one – this increases anxiety and anxiety.
Remember the main thing, relatives and friends do not even ask you to worry and experience such discomfort. This kind of excitement constantly creates tension. One side is nervous and anxious, while the other is embarrassed and annoyed. Sooner or later, your loved ones themselves acquire neurotic anxiety and begin to worry even where it was previously quite comfortable and calm. We, as it were, teach our loved ones to fear and worry with our anxiety.
What is the benefit of our concern for loved ones
Of course, anxiety for a loved one is a tool that keeps you safe. Only if you have not become a habit and you are not experiencing unconscious utopian benefits. And there may be several of them:
- increased attention;
- obedience to the environment through an emphasis on anxiety;
- initiation of their power over loved ones;
- getting what you want through increased anxiety.
Still, close relationships differ from others in trust, honesty and sincerity. And sometimes, your excessive concern and increased anxiety is just your own life scenario, which you impose on your loved one. If you want a comfortable relationship, keep it light in everything. If you are not answered, then it is inconvenient to speak now. Not something happened. If someone is late, it is traffic jams, and something irreparable has not happened. Try to rule out scenarios in which you have negative thinking.
How to switch from constant anxiety about loved ones
Healthy self-esteem is essential to any harmonious relationship.
It is much more correct to switch your attention to yourself from worrying around your loved ones. Set adequate requirements for yourself, others, and the outside world. In situations of increased anxiety, do not escalate the situation, try using personal self-regulation tools (breathing, switching attention, changing topics) to create a favorable background for yourself. Include your personal pleasures. Do what you enjoy and enjoy. Do what you are passionate about.
There are no unsolvable problems – there are solutions that you don’t like. Try to realistically assess reality and critically approach your illusory fears. Is there any benefit to your excitement? Personally for you? And your loved ones? Most often, this only rocks the relationship within the family and does not give you the opportunity to fully enjoy the communication.
Remember that happiness is generally in your own hands. And if you shift the focus of attention from stress and anxiety for loved ones, to your personal pleasures and interests, your anxiety will gradually subside. And the quality of life will improve significantly. The greatest joy for your loved ones is your good mood and being occupied with yourself, instead of endless control and anxiety for your family members. A smile and happiness on your face is the best motivator for your loved ones.
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