Every subordinate dreams of an even, lasting and solely based on mutual respect relationship with his superiors. The work itself, our attitude towards it, psychological attitude, etc., depends on these relations.
Considering that most of life goes on at work, one cannot do without like-mindedness and harmony in relations with the boss – after all, only in this case can we save nerve cells and count on stability. But what if we are talking about friendship with the authorities? Is it possible to maintain a friendly relationship with a boss or be friends with a female boss without prejudice to work? How to find a common language with your superiors? Natalya Kaptsova, a certified psychologist from Bologny magazine, answers these and other questions within the framework of the topic.
The boss or boss is a friend. Pros and cons of being friends with superiors
Work and friendship are like the obverse and reverse of a coin. On the one hand, working together with another boss often becomes a springboard to dizzying success, on the other hand, personal relationships at work can turn friends into real enemies. In all cases, working under a friend’s wing is a challenge… So, a friend offered you a job. What are the pros and cons of such a proposal?
The pros of being friends with your boss
- There is no need for an interview and a probationary period.
- Career growth is a matter of course.
- Nobody will fire you for absenteeism.
- The vacation can be taken at any time.
- Additional privileges.
Possible Cons of Friendship with a Boss
- Overtime work that you have to do “out of friendship.”
- Additional commitment (because you can be relied on).
- Late wages (wait, buddy – you see, we have problems).
- Dislike of colleagues (arranged “by pull” in rare cases will become “your boyfriend” in the team).
- The forced role of the overseer in the team.
Of course, if you approach everything from the point of view of rationality and differentiation of service and friendship, then it is quite possible to learn how to combine these two incompatible things. But for this you need remember a few rules:
- Do not overuse the demonstration of your special status in the team.
- Be aware of the discipline and your responsibilities.
- Work to your reputation.
- Agree with your boss friend in advance about the boundaries of the chain of command.
- Eliminate any form of familiarity.
- Leave the discussion of work moments in the office, and family and friends – in an informal setting.
And most importantly – weigh the pros and cons carefully such an offer before agreeing. Perhaps a better option would be rejection than possible enmity and a complete breakdown in the relationship in the future.
Subordination and its boundaries when communicating with bosses – is it worth making friends?
Compliance with subordination (clearly assigned powers and responsibilities of employees) is the foundation of any organization. Violation of hierarchical relations (familiar relationship between the boss and the employee) invariably entails disruptions in the work of the company, therefore, the observance of chain of command is of particular importance for each of the parties. It is not uncommon for a relationship between a boss and an employee to turn into a friendly one. As a rule, this ends in one of several classic scenarios:
- An employee who disregards the rules of chain of command is fired.
- The boss, realizing that the employee is overstepping the boundaries, excludes all the possibilities for familiar relations. An employee, having lost the status of “close to the boss,” resigns himself.
- In the person of the employee, the boss gets a real assistant and a responsible employee.
- Familiar relations lead to misunderstanding, resentment, squabbles and real “civil strife”.
Benefits of being a boss, friendship with a female boss or a man
- Your idea will always be supported.
- Your “rear” is reliably protected – you can count on support and understanding in case of force majeure.
- They listen to your opinion.
- You can find out the information you need even after hours.
- You can ask for a salary supplement.
Why you shouldn’t be friends with your boss and boss?
- It’s hard to fire you.
- You are less responsible for your work.
- You are embarrassed to obey (accordingly, the boss feels awkward when ordering something to you).
- You may be asked to work on a holiday or reschedule your vacation.
- Your colleagues are jealous of you.
- Your coworkers perceive you as the “eyes and ears” of bosses.
- Your coworkers can use you as someone to put in a good word for them.
- If times are really tough in the company, then leaving your boss friend in trouble automatically becomes a traitor. Even if you have “seven in the shops” and you cannot wait for the stability of the company.
Friendship with a boss: how to keep a friend and a job?
If you do not want to lose this job, and even more so your friend (whoever he is), then stick to the rulesto help you maintain the necessary balance.
- Separate business and personal interests clearly.
- Do not allow the transition to personalities, familiarity.
- Within the walls of the office, contact the boss only on “you”. Even if you were offered to contact “you”.
- Maintain the required distance.
- Do not discuss personal matters.
- As soon as you enter the office, forget that this is your friend. This also applies to your emotional state: when the boss is reprimanded, it is insulting, when the boss friend reprimands it is doubly insulting. Control yourself and don’t let your emotions guide you.
- If possible, keep your friendship with the boss a secret from the rest of the staff. The less they know about it, the fewer enemies you will make.
- Solve all controversial issues only in the office of the superiors, outside the eyes of other employees. Read: What if your boss yells?
- Do not discuss the personal life of your superiors with colleagues.
In a word, subordination allows you to maintain the order that presupposes a comfortable coexistence in a team of all parties. Each has its own status and its own niche – and they should be adhered to.
Any transition beyond the boundaries of subordination invariably entails a deterioration in relations and discord in the usual rhythm of work. And if outside the working walls you can drink with “Tolyan” for brotherhood and blame him for the lack of taste and a terrible tie, then, crossing the threshold of the office in the morning, you automatically become one of Anatoly Petrovich’s subordinates, and nothing more. Finding a balance between friendship and work is very difficult. But with mutual respect and a clear division of work and friendship, it is quite possible.
Is it worth making friends with the bosses – commentary by sociologist Alena Dubinets
“Friend” is a significant word in the lives of many people. Can you be friends with your superiors? Of course. Is it possible to be friends so that it does not interfere with work? Here’s the catch. Theoretically, we are able to build ANY relationship with the people of interest to us, the question is different – “why?”.
The boss is the leader, the person you depend on. Making friends with him means putting yourself in the same place with him. It is important here not to fall into the illusion and not allow yourself the thought that both of you perceive your relationship format in the same way.
Unfortunately, as practice shows, the violation of subordination never leads to good. It is easier for people to communicate in society when they clearly understand their roles. The boss-friend is a vague and vague role. Therefore, I will give you this recommendation – work to IMPROVE the existing model of your relationship, do not seek to strike up a friendship with a person. who considers himself to be your boss.
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