You have probably seen these types of families: in one, where the husband, finding himself without work, does everything possible to solve financial problems, and in the other, the husband finds a lot of excuses and reasons not to look for at least some job. Why is this happening?
It all depends on the woman: in one, the wife inspires, inspires the husband to new deeds and deeds, being a muse for him, and in the other, she constantly reproaches, “gnaws”, scandalizes and plays the role of a saw.
Work is an important part of our life, bringing financial stability. And if the head of the family is a husband, loses a source of income, loses his job?
The main thing is not to give up and direct your efforts to helping her husband find a new job and to overcome the monetary crisis. Bologny will tell you what a wife should do if her husband is fired from his job.
Read also: 10 important rules of a wise wife – how to become a wise wife?
Benefits of an unemployed husband
While the unemployed husband is constantly at home: he posts his resume on the Internet, looks for job options through the newspaper and responds to the most acceptable vacancies, which takes several hours, in addition to this, he can redo long-standing tasks: change the wiring, nail a bookshelf, hang a chandelier, etc. .d.
Husband lost his job – the financial side of the problem
With the transition of your husband to the status of unemployed, your family will have to reconsider the items of expenditure. If before that you are accustomed to living “on a grand scale,” now you need to “cut back” your spending.
Make a list of costs, analyze how you spend money, and consider options for saving money. Without a clear distribution of funds, there is a high probability of being left with an absolutely insolvent family at one point. For this, a cunning wife must have a stash.
See also: List of groceries for the week – how to plan your purchases correctly?
What should a wife do if her husband has lost his job? Commentary by psychologist-sexologist, expert of Bologny magazine, Irina Barbat
A good wife should know that on a scale of priorities for any man, his activities are in the first place. It goes back to antiquity. The male main role is to find and kill the mammoth, drag it into the cave. And that’s it! All other actions on the mammoth were performed by a woman. Therefore, a man who has lost his professional activity is a man who cannot fulfill his main natural function. In this state, the man is extremely vulnerable.
So, if the husband was fired from his job, the wife needs:
- Support your husband, be close.
- Give him the opportunity and time to be alone with himself, to think and make a decision.
- Do not rush to save him and run to get three more jobs.
- Do not humiliate him by saying how insignificant he is, what a “non-man” he is.
In this difficult psychological moment, a man needs a rear in the person of his wife. It is important that the man continues to feel like a man. Do not belittle his importance as the head of the family. A woman needs to be patient and calm. Tantrums, screams, scandals, reproaches in this situation do not help, but only aggravate the situation.
Men don’t like to be given advice if they don’t ask for it. A man must decide for himself what to do next. A good wife will not put pressure on her husband, but will calmly and accurately talk to him about her main fears and concerns. This will be enough for the husband to understand his wife’s attitude to the situation.
A good wife on her own, without involving her husband, will assess the level of expenses and reduce unnecessary spending on time. A good wife will not tell either her friends or relatives “in all its glory” about her spouse’s failure, but, on the contrary, will try to reduce the excitement around this event. In short, a good wife during this period should become a good friend and a solid shoulder on which a man can lean on his elbows and rest in order to take the next big step.
What to do if the husband is unemployed – commentary of a coach, psycho-practitioner Lilia Voskrsenskaya
How to help an unemployed husband?
In this situation, it is important to show that you believe in your husband, trust him and on his side. Support him, show that for you he is important in himself, regardless of the position held. Of course, the material condition of the family is of great importance. If savings allow, after dismissal, it is normal to leave yourself time to look for a new job, and not grab onto the first thing that comes along. This is a chance to rethink your career and possibly change something.
What shouldn’t you do? You should not feel sorry for the man, this is a normal stage of development and you should not fall into the role of a victim. You should not rush to look for a part-time job yourself and show that you are ready to provide it yourself. If you see that your husband is not coping well with the situation, he has become indifferent to what is happening, he began to regularly seek solace in alcohol (even if it is a bottle of beer in the evening on a regular basis), you should seek help from a specialist.
What to do if your husband was fired – comment of the owner of an international dating agency, Bologny expert, Elena Tolkacheva
Firing from work, business failure is always stressful for any person, regardless of whether it is a man or a woman. However, a woman, if she is under the financial protection of her man, has an easier time going through a period of unemployment. She does not lose her dignity and status in the person of her family, her husband. And for a man, to lose his job = to be left not only without money, including to provide for his family, but also the fear of ceasing to be a MAN in this family.
Firing can happen to anyone. This has especially affected many during the pandemic. Financial problems began. And according to statistics, this is one of the main reasons for divorce.
What to do if your husband was fired? How can a wife help him get through this period with dignity?
To begin with, in no case should she lower it below the baseboard! No “Yes, you yourself are to blame, urgently go and solve the problem!” and “And what are we going to live on now? At my expense? ” If you constantly “nag” your husband and blame him for what happened, he will drive himself even more into a hole, from which he may not get out. Loses faith in himself or, even worse, goes into a binge.
Men often experience all the problems in themselves. While conducting an internal dialogue with themselves, they experience stress. And against this background, various diseases can arise. Therefore, the wife needs to become an ally, not an attacker. After all, when you put a stamp in your passport, you promise to be together both in joy and in sorrow. And for this you need to be mentally adults – to be able to negotiate and solve problems together, and not be at enmity.
Also, a woman should not devalue her husband. For example, before losing his job, he was a breadwinner, breadwinner in the family. And suddenly this function ceased, and the wife radically changed her attitude towards her husband, lost interest and ceased to respect. A man will think that he was “loved” only for money.
But at the same time, a woman should not even make it clear that now she will provide for her family until the end of the century, and her husband can sit at home on the sofa. It is necessary to remind him of his role in the family. But do it wisely.
That is, in a difficult period, the husband needs to be supported and instilled in himself as a professional. Tell him “I’m with you, I love you, you will succeed, we will all survive together!” and “Do not be upset, it means that this is not your job, you deserve the best.”
You can even sit down and look for work on different sites. At least temporary, if the man does not want to sit at home for a day and be on the support of his wife.
You know, I was also once affected by my husband’s dismissal. Spoiler alert: we did not part, this situation, on the contrary, brought us together even more.
When my husband gave me the long-awaited car, the director of his company saw it on my social networks. Two months later he was fired, saying that he took bribes! Arguments that most of the amount was taken in installments did not affect in any way. He lost his job with a good salary and could not get a job for 6 months.
Was it financially difficult for us? Oh sure. At that moment I was working alone. We had to significantly limit the budget, giving up what we are used to. It was a powerful way out of our comfort zone for both of us. But we went through all the difficult stages together. On my part, there were also emotional breakdowns, but I stopped, saying to myself: “What am I doing? It is not right”. She came up, apologized, hugged him. We cried together. After all, he is my dear person, to whom I promised to be in both joy and sorrow.
And this situation for my husband and I became the engine of internal transformation and the impetus for a career takeoff. Six months later, he was offered a position in a good company. We were happy.
Everything in life does not happen like in a fairy tale, we must always be ready to go through any trials of fate. And if you love a person, be with him from start to finish at any time. Believe me, you can change 10 husbands, but if you don’t learn how to work on relationships, situations will repeat itself.
How to behave if your husband lost his job and what should not be said?
- If the husband was fired, then the wise wife will say to her unemployed spouse: “Don’t worry, dear, all the changes are for the better. You will find a more profitable work option, new opportunities and horizons will open up for you. ” That is, it will not let the husband lose heart, but on the contrary, cheer up, instill hope for the best.
- The main thing is that the wife who comes home from work does not “nag” her husband and does not say: “I work for two, and you rest at home all day.” Note that your husband is trying his best to make a difference. See also: What should you never tell a man?
- Firing a husband from work is no reason to deny him affection and love… Make him forget for a while about his failures in the professional field. Let him feel family comfort and warmth. Arrange for him a romantic dinner with his favorite dish, or do an erotic massage, etc.
- Sometimes the loss of a job and thoughts about his insolvency upsets a man so much that he even refuses to have an intimate relationship. To a woman in this situation patience and endurance should be shown… As soon as the husband settles the issue with the work, he will make up for lost moments in sex.
- Difficult times, when the husband lost his job, it is better to go through together, with your family. Desirable do not involve parents and other relatives here. By intervening with their advice and recommendations, they may not improve the situation, but exacerbate it. If the advice of relatives does not lead to positive results, then the husband can blame them for his financial crisis.
- Remember, you are a family, which means that you will share equally the joys and misfortunes, financial ups and financial troubles. Try to maintain a good family climate and with loved ones.
- But do not let the case called “looking for a new job” take its course… Periodically ask yourself about your husband’s success: with whom you met, what position you applied for, what kind of salary they promise. Do not let your husband completely relax, get used to “sitting at home.” Discuss the current circumstances, analyze the mistakes. Think, maybe it is worth changing your occupation, discovering new professional talents.
- When the husband has lost his job and is in a stressful situation, reassure him, let him know that losing a job is not the end of the world, this is not his personal problem, but yours, family, and you will solve it together. Let your husband feel your faith in him. More often tell him: “I know you can, you will succeed.”
Do not forget that the atmosphere in the house is set by the woman. Family well-being depends on how you behave in difficult moments for the family: either the husband, thanks to you, will be able to overcome the crisis, or, conversely, he will finally give up and lose faith in his strength.
Of course, you will have hard times: it will take tremendous endurance, tact and patience, as well as active steps in finding a job for her husband. But peace, harmony and love in the family are worth it.
What were you doing when your husband was fired? Share your experience on how to behave correctly
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