The fashion for psychology is a relatively new trend. A few years ago, this specialty was perceived as dubious. And already 20 years ago, when I first entered the psychology department, and even more so: the only decent job prospects are educational institutions, internships – zero.
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Trap of false attitudes
Despite the fact that now every second person can not only become a specialist with a diploma, but also work in a profession without leaving home, alertness to the profession is still preserved and phonates through the attitudes of the past:
- “Only mentally unhealthy people turn to psychologists.”
- “A psychologist is a friend for money.”
- “Psychology is cheating and pulling money out of the population.”
- “Psychology is for those who are mad about fat.”
- “Psychology is expensive.”
- “Psychology is a sin.”
If you managed not to fall into the trap of these installations or to get out of them on your own, you have already formed your own clear vision and idea of how the work of a psychologist works, why and who needs it.
At the same time, you are not necessarily a connoisseur or consumer of this service, but you remain a sane representative of Homo Sapiens and understand that our life is subject to certain laws of nature and the Universe, the knowledge of which not only facilitate our existence on this planet, but also make it full and harmonious.
In theory, it will not be difficult for you to master these laws on your own and apply them in practice empirically without the help of a specialist. In theory, everything is simpler than in practice, so this article is for those who want to understand whether they need a psychologist specifically for him and, in principle, in general, or if this is another business pyramid that requires careful investment.
Each question already contains a part of the answer. Therefore, without repeating myself, I will immediately answer in the affirmative. Let’s figure it out in more detail.
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Do I need a psychologist?
To begin with, the author of this article is herself a psychologist and coach. In theory, I should be interested in broadcasting this fashion for psychology to you. But I want to be scandalously honest, because I myself work under the hashtag #honest coach.
In his book “Book in a Month: Myth or Reality” I describe in detail why the best psychologist for the Russian soul is another Russian soul. It was the impoverishment of souls that led us to adopt Western forms of survival.
This is not a bad thing, these are the consequences of the very same globalization in which everything valuable has been mixed and lost. The conclusions of my book are as follows: if your soul requires a dialogue, let it lead it for the benefit of yourself and future generations – write a book.
Why I advise you to start with a book. Any honest psychologist and even more so a coach will force you to write anyway. The fact is that without the inclusion of spelling, it is not possible to launch the very neural connections that are responsible for transforming your life for the better. Therefore, it is easier and cheaper to start by journaling to understand your feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
You don’t even need to start a special notebook for this. Many are looping in search of author’s diaries. In fact, this is a waste of money, since other people’s notes in the margins of your future memoir only distract from your own thoughts.
Create limitlessly: fill the space of a blank sheet not only with letters and numbers, but also with your drawings, quotes and other symbols.
Important: make this activity your hobby, allocate free time for it, anchor this event with some special ritual or place. For example, I turn on certain music that tunes me in to the right creative wave. Or I sink into my favorite velor chair and so on.
What to write about? Everything that comes to mind. Free your head from endless thoughts and your body from ingrained emotions. Make yourself a real “headwash” in the literal sense of the word.
Can a trip to a psychologist or psychotherapist replace a diary or book?
I have a separate chapter in my book on this topic. I will not repeat myself here, only new thoughts. You write in order, among other things, to pour out your soul to paper, to alleviate mental pain, to clear your mind and memory of past events. It may not be easy.
You may need professional help. But only you can decide for yourself. There are no and cannot be advisers here. Now this approach has become fashionable: if you cannot cope on your own, run for help to someone else.
Delegation is positive, provided that you yourself have already tried to do something yourself. In fact, I often encounter laziness. Clients come to work “zero”, they want to shift the responsibility for their problems onto another, in this they see the primary task of a psychologist – to be a garbage collector.
I repeat that this is the root of all evil. To understand whether you personally need a psychologist, you first need to try to establish a dialogue with your own I. Independently. Nice bonus: it’s free. All you need is a piece of paper and a pen.
What’s going on now? We cut the truth-womb. A giant business pyramid has already been built, which feeds on your laziness and unwillingness to know the truth. And the truth is that you will be endlessly convinced that the path of psychology is the most correct, true.
Only our specialists, only in our school and so on, will you achieve your goal and find happiness. In fact, any path has a right to exist. This is the essence of freedom of choice.
How to choose a psychologist?
Let’s be honest about psychologists. On average, a basic education of a psychologist will cost you 100 thousand rubles, more often without personal therapy. But this is just the beginning. You must undergo continuous training, personal therapy and supervision, otherwise you will become obsolete or go crazy from overload and professional burnout.
All this for money. If you count the amounts, costs and expenses, then your consultation as a specialist should be at least 3-5 thousand rubles per hour, otherwise you are not just ineffective, you are dangerous for society. In fact, the market for the services of the helping profession is overflowing with consultants of any price category, including for free. Now let this make you think about who is in front of you: a student getting his hands on, or a consultant who needs to survive at any cost. I in no way condemn anyone. This article is for those who want to understand the situation from the outside and understand whether it is possible to help oneself when a difficult situation arises in life. Who can I contact at all?
Historically, we lived in communities, any incomprehensible situations, including those related to personal conflict, were helped by an elder, senior by family. Then this function was partially transferred to the church. It is not for nothing that psychology is translated literally – the science of the soul.
Its roots are deeply rooted in ancient philosophy. I will say more as a master of philosophy: all really working psychotherapeutic techniques are somehow borrowed from there. All the discoveries of great psychologists are just a return to the origins.
Therefore, when I am asked, advise me to read something clever from psychology, I fall into cognitive dissonance. Everything clever has already been written before the clever ones. Their merit is that they rediscover it to us. This is positive. What’s not to like: that they are turning other people’s merits into their own brand and building a not entirely honest business on it.
I really want to be honest with you and immediately bring down from heaven to earth those who take the following ad banners on faith:
- with us you will solve all your problems;
- you will find answers to your questions;
- learn to live in peace, harmony and prosperity;
- will be successful and so on …
Life is so arranged and (attention!) It’s normal that we have crises, problems, negative emotions, quarrels with loved ones and a breakdown. It is impossible to get rid of this once and for all in order to start living from scratch. This is a utopia.
An honest psychologist is needed just for this: to make you know that everything is fine with you, even when it is not. You are no longer in paradise. You are no longer Adam or Eve. It is important to accept and live on, to reproduce imperfect copies from the once ideal prototype.
Of course, there are clinical cases when a client, rather a patient, needs the help of a specialist, because he has lost touch with reality, it is unsafe for him and the people around him. We do not take such cases into account when analyzing this topic.
Of course, a book is not the only way to help yourself. This is just one of the options for how to learn to understand your thoughts and feelings. How? Express them in a variety of ways, including orally and in writing. This is only one of the steps, I repeat, but very important in order to understand whether you are ready to go further into mental work and whether you need it at all.
Not all attitudes that psychologists write about need to be changed. Not all beliefs are rewritten. Not all protective mechanisms need to be turned off. It is not at all necessary to get out of a codependent relationship, poke around in childhood traumas and build a coaching strategy for the year ahead.
If what you do gives you pleasure and enjoyment, then how you live, you do not need to look for confirmation of this in a Yandex search engine. It has long been focused not on finding information, but on finding clients for business. Psychology is business as well. Just consider this.
Approach the question of studying it with a cold mind. Most of the books and textbooks, as well as techniques and practices in psychology are in the public domain on the RuNet, if you suddenly want to plunge into this pool with your head. I have already described the pitfalls of the profession above.
To summarize, answering the question of the article: yes, you can quite cope with any difficulties in life on your own, moreover, all the answers are already within you. You don’t need a guide for this. The inner voice of intuition is enough. How do I enable it? Start with the main thing: turn off the phone, the Internet, go to nature, ground yourself.
Your honest coach: @olga_fatum
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