What is loneliness and why does a person remain lonely among billions of other people? A famous song explains – “because for ten girls, according to statistics, there are nine guys“.
Psychologists have noticed that an adult woman who has not found a match for herself feels flawed. How can a woman overcome loneliness? Is it real? COLADY will tell you everything about the methodology of finding a partner in the modern world, but you will have to start by working on yourself!
The content of the article:
The main reasons for female loneliness – so why am I always alone?
It used to be thought that modesty is the color of a girl. And many parents raised their daughters in accordance with this opinion. So a generation of indecisive women grew up, literally afraid of men. Excessive modesty does not promote communication, and the less a woman communicates, the fewer potential suitors in her environment.
- Many ladies have been waiting for a prince on a white horse all their lives.
Having created the ideal of a man in their minds, they cannot find its analogue in reality. And too high demands ultimately lead to loneliness.
A beautiful, sociable, intelligent, but too serious lady scares men. With such a woman, they are even afraid to speak.
Many women expect a man to appear by himself, draw on the horizon and take her away to her dream. Infantile women do not take any action to find a companion. In addition, the husband is expected to be happy with her for the rest of her life. But this happens too rarely.
- Heavy character
It’s no secret that relationships involve compromise. A rare man can get along with an iron woman who does not make concessions.
- Full dedication to work
A woman is primarily a wife and mother, as nature bequeathed. If a career woman does not have enough time for her family and her husband, then the likelihood that she will remain lonely is close to 100%. See also: What is more important – family or career?
- Excessive requirements
Often women want to start a family only with handsome and successful men, it is desirable that at the same time they are also generous and wise. But such a high level must be met. After all, these men choose at least models, business women or famous actresses as their companions. And ordinary saleswomen are not interested in them.
- Misunderstanding and fear of men
There is an opinion that all men are goats. And many women live, piously believing in it. How can you find a life partner with such an attitude? That’s right, – no way. Perhaps this attitude is a consequence of the mental trauma inflicted at a tender age. A woman was once severely offended by her lover, or fear appeared when, in front of the child’s eyes, the father morally and physically mocked the mother. In this case, you should consult a psychologist.
- Own notoriousness
Women absolutely unreasonably wind themselves up because of their small breasts, wide hips and short stature. Most people around them simply do not notice these shortcomings. And the complexes do not allow to communicate freely and freely.
- Fear of responsibility
Marriage and family are responsible for the spouse and for the children. Many are afraid of this, afraid of losing their freedom and independence. In addition, usually by the age of 30, women get used to an independent life, and it becomes difficult to change it.
As practice shows, loneliness is a choice that may not be in the plane of the mind, but is definitely at the subconscious level.
The main thing is to understand the secondary benefit, why it is so important to be in a state of loneliness. There are no templates, every woman has her own reasons for this. Starting from pity on the part of the environment (if everything stabilizes, then who will pity me, but this is so necessary, to the unconscious “I feel so good, and I don’t need to tell me how to live, even if you are in pants and a jacket.” Therefore, overcome – to go against desire at the moment. ”Isn’t it better to understand why this is needed?
Pros and Cons of Female Loneliness – Do Single Women Have Benefits?
Loneliness has few advantages:
- Women who have no experience of living together and raising children look younger… This can be explained by the fact that their life is less anxious, they have less worries and hassles around the house, and more time for themselves.
- The second advantage is freedom. A person does not depend on the circumstances, on the opinion of another person, he is not afraid by his actions to hurt the feelings of a partner. Children do not hold him. At any time, a single woman can go on vacation to the other end of the world, and not plan a vacation for her husband’s free days and the child’s vacation.
You can calmly read a book, and not clean up and cook for a huge family. Or sit with friends in a cafe, go to a beauty salon. See also: Where to find your best friend – 10 ways.
Cons of a single woman:
- Inadequacy. Even if a person on every corner screams that he is happy in his loneliness, deep down he will feel left out. And every acquaintance will certainly remind you of this inferiority with the phrases: “When will you get married?”, “Are you all alone?”
- Helplessness. A lonely person has no one to turn to for help. Whether it’s illness, renovation, or just moral support. There are friends today, but tomorrow they are not. And the family is always there.
- Lack of a companion. A husband is a friend, ally and like-minded person. Therefore, married women do not need to look for someone to celebrate the New Year with or with whom to go on vacation. See also: New Year for Singles – how to make your holiday interesting and unforgettable?
- Irregular sex. It is more difficult for a single person to find a partner. And the lack of intimacy is bad for physical and psychological health. Of course, there are times when there is no sex in marriage, but this is rather an exception.
How to get rid of loneliness for a woman – 7 tips from a psychologist
To break free from the grasping hands of loneliness, you need:
- Boost self-esteem
Get rid of, if not all, then from a greater mass of complexes. And move forward to your happiness.
- Be yourself
Individuality is highly valued. You don’t have to try to copy some successful person. You have to believe in yourself, not give in to doubts and not do what you don’t like, because each person has his own individual path to happiness.
- Increase your communication skills
Chat, smile, exchange news and opinions. The larger the circle of familiar people, the faster your one and only will be found.
- Review your requirements for the opposite sex
Perhaps they are too strict, which is why you are still lonely.
- Be interesting
For people to want to communicate with you, you need to be fun. Find your favorite pastime, let it be some fashionable hobby. And preferably more than one.
- Reach for your ideal
If your dream is an educated and gallant man, then you need to become the ideal companion for him. The same educated, educated woman versed in art or cinematography.
- Look for your betrothed and not sit still
Be where he can find you. Attend public events, do not miss friends’ birthdays, corporate parties and other holidays.
The main thing that is needed to get rid of loneliness is desire. You can now object that you want to meet a man and have a relationship. But answer yourself the question: “What specific steps have you taken this week or this month to get you in a relationship?“.
If you have not yet taken any concrete steps, but sat and waited for a miracle, then your desire is not yet ripe enough. It is in the state “It should be, but not very necessary“.
When the desire reaches the desired condition, you begin to act. And you need to start acting in three directions. So, if you do not want to be alone, but strive to overcome loneliness, take 3 steps:
- Work on the image… For a relationship to take place, a man must first see you among many other women. Look at yourself with the eyes of the man you would like to see next to you. Think about what you could improve: hairstyle, clothes, figure. And make yourself a habit of smiling. This will immediately increase your chances of meeting.
- Take care of your health… Representatives of the stronger sex are attracted not only by beautiful, but also healthy women.
- Solve your problems… Not a single psychologically healthy man is sitting and dreaming of how to save someone else’s woman from problems. Then, when you are already together, the two of you will share your happiness and solve the problems that have arisen. In the meantime, allow the man to enter his happy and prosperous life.
How did you deal with loneliness? Let us know in the comments!
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