Yes, I didn’t really want to!
A familiar phrase, right? Alas, no, no, but at least once in my life it sounded from the lips of everyone. What is it about? And why is it scary?
Let’s start from the very beginning, with the emergence of new life. A man was born! This is happiness for the whole family, this is endless love and, of course, this little man does not even have a thought about self-worth: after all, he is loved, and life is beautiful.
But we are not Mowgli, and it is difficult to dodge the influence of society. And so the little person’s self-esteem begins to slowly undergo changes due to external assessments: for example, the opinions of significant adults (not necessarily relatives), grades at school.
By the way, the latter is generally a separate topic for conversation. It’s no secret that grades in school, even in the modern world, are far from impartial. This means that any assessments from teachers cannot be considered objectively.
What is so useful that depreciation gives to a person? First of all, one must remember that this is a protective mechanism of the psyche. “I didn’t really want to”, “but I don’t need it”, and others – it’s all about depreciation.
In adulthood, those who suffer from the devaluation of themselves as a person, their achievements, have a difficult time. And such people value themselves most often at the moment of wild overcoming something. And then again emptiness, lack of strength, apathy.
Devaluation is fatal. Disguised as a good direction, devaluation destroys the person, undermining and destroying what supported the person and was the mainstay.
Is it possible to “cure” depreciation?
Not in a day, and not in a week, but it’s possible.
First of all, you have to stop being “Evil teacher” for myself. Stop comparing yourself with others, or devalue others (because in any case we are devaluing OURSELVES anyway). You need to get to know yourself better.
Praise, love yourself. Accept yourself for who you really are: imperfect, sometimes mistaken, avoiding something, having not only good character traits. It’s easy to read, but honestly harder.
Practice of gratitude
To embrace my value, I recommend to everyone a simple practice that works 100%. This is the practice of gratitude. Every day, without missing a day, write out at least 5 thanks to yourself for the day.
At first, it is not easy for someone: how is it? Do I thank myself? For what? Try it small: “Thank myself for waking up / smiling / going for bread.”
Just? certainly! And then it will already be possible to notice much more of what has been achieved and what has happened. And it will be your source of strength and resource.
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