How can a woman after 40 understand that loneliness is not scary
Many of us have a subconscious fear of loneliness. Loneliness is often on the same line with words such as uselessness, emptiness and unfulfillment.
This word sounds especially scary for women after 40 years. Thoughts can creep into my head that the equator of life has already been passed, that everything good is in the past, and only lonely old age lies ahead.
Is it so?
Let’s see if this is a punishment for a woman or the right of everyone to build her life the way she wants.
COLADY will tell you how a single woman over 40 can live a happy and fulfilling life!
You divorced your husband
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Over time, you became strangers to each other, the relationship gradually collapsed, love replaced habit and, in the end, you decided to part ways.
Or the choice was made for you, preferring another woman. In both cases, this is a process when old foundations are destroyed and new life is formed.
After a divorce (especially if it was difficult, long), it takes about a year, or even more, to recover: to calm the nerves and heart, to start trusting this world and people again.
Banal phrase “time heals” is already perceived not with hostility, but as a fact. Time has really changed a lot in life:
- you give yourself more attention, more care;
- there is time and energy for your hobbies, hobbies;
- your actions and choices do not depend on someone else’s opinion, you do it as it is convenient for you;
- your emotions and mood are not affected by the actions of the other person.
Women in their 40s and older are in emotional and physical maturity, they are independent, wise, self-confident.
Are they really alone in this state?
You have children, you pay attention to them. Children grow up quickly, your attention and support is very important to them. You rejoice, grieve and worry with them. Joint entertainment, study and hobbies bring mother and child closer together.
Here’s a practical example:
“Several years ago I divorced my husband. They lived together for 14 years, the relationship at first was full of love, but then everything changed. Gone is trust, understanding, there is heaviness, constant scandals.
As a result, they divorced, I was 42 years old, my daughter was 10 years old. I was left alone with a child, debts and a bunch of complexes. The ex-husband almost immediately married his mistress, and I did not trust anyone.
At first, in order to forget and pay off debts, she worked a lot, the rest of the time she was busy with her daughter. I didn’t communicate with almost anyone, it was very hard to see happy married couples, I rarely went out into the street.
A year of such a life has passed, and I realized that it was time to get out of the shell:
- I stood in front of the mirror, examined myself critically, realized that I looked quite good, and if I lost 5-10 kg, I would be a beauty.
- She began to change her diet, began to walk more with her daughter, sometimes went to the pool.
- I remembered about my girlfriends, about family friends with whom I had not spoken for a long time.
- I remembered what I wanted to do before, but did not have enough time.
At first it was difficult to return to a “normal” life, but then new interests dragged on, other people appeared in the environment. Then I realized how important it is to live every minute of my life, regardless of whether there is a man nearby or not. “
You became a widow
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The loss of a loved one is a huge grief that covers your head. The news of this, disbelief, numbness and emptiness. Here are some tips to help with loss:
- when organizing a farewell, it is very important that you have your family and loved ones next to you who provide moral and physical support and can take on some of the trouble;
- release the emotions that accumulate inside, cry, live grief, ask for emotional support;
- gradually make out the things of another person who has gone into the world;
- take care of your physical and emotional health.
Once you accept the loss of your husband and your emotions are in order, you start thinking about the future.
A widow is not a marital status, it is your inner state. The more you surround yourself with people, the easier it becomes on the soul.
A woman, even having lost a loved one, her husband, does not remain lonely, she can find support in children, parents, friends, colleagues at work.
Life goes on, it can also be interesting, filled with emotions and events:
- engaging in creativity;
- success at work and much more.
It is important to learn to love and live for yourself and not for someone else.
You just haven’t met your love
Everyone falls in love in their own way: some jump from relationship to relationship, others – once and for life, someone does not fall in love at all. In love, it is difficult to predict something.
It also happens that a woman could not find “her” man, or he did not reciprocate. They continue to live on and do not label themselves as “old maids” or “losers.”
Each person is individual, everyone can have their own concept of “female happiness”. It can consist not only in a family consisting of a husband, wife and children, but also have a completely different structure.
A woman may have friends and colleagues with whom she is comfortable communicating, pals, parents and relatives who need care. She can reach career heights, self-actualize in creativity and hobbies.
In such a situation, it is important to be in harmony with yourself, to understand what and when you want yourself, not to get hung up on marital status. As in the two previous cases, a woman has everything she needs for full happiness.
Looking at these three situations, we can see that every woman has her own story. At the same time, a woman cannot be considered lonely, abandoned and incomplete without a man. Each has a whole world outside and inside.
No need to think about stereotypes, no need to pay attention to the opinion of society. You are the main thing in your life, and it is only what you feel, think and do that matters.
Loneliness is not a fact, but a point of view.
And if you have children, friends, girlfriends, work, is your soul lonely? This is a fulfilling life that has both good and bad moments. It’s up to you to decide what will happen tomorrow.
What do you think, can a single woman over 40 be happy? Share your opinion in the comments!
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