All women, from time to time, hear compliments in their address. Some compliments – from the heart, sincere, others – banal flattery and sycophancy, others – from timid admirers, fourth – cheeky and shameless, etc. The reaction of the weaker sex to compliments depends not only on the emotional message of the “flatterer”, but also on the inner attitude of a woman.
Etiquette expert COLADY will tell you how a worthy woman should respond to men’s compliments correctly.
Read also: How easy it is to cheat us for money – beware of gigolos!
5 common mistakes women make when answering a man’s complement
Each lady has her own reaction to praise – embarrassment, indignation, confusion, etc. We, women, respond to compliments due to our good breeding, character and other factors, but the main thing is not to make mistakes in this matter.
- Don’t mind
If you have received a compliment, you should not immediately stop the “galloping horse”, they say, “It seemed to you!”, “There is better!” or “What nonsense! You might think I haven’t seen myself in the mirror since morning! ” By this you belittle yourself, your talents, your dignity. Moreover, with such a reaction you will not at all raise yourself in the eyes of a man, and even, on the contrary, embarrass him.
- Don’t make excuses
Your beautiful dress, great figure, unearthly eyes and all the ammunition of talents are a reason for pride, not shame. There is no need to immediately tell you that you spent a lot of time on this tan in the solarium, that the mind-boggling smoothness of your legs cost you six months of sessions in the salon, and this amazing handbag is generally from second-hand. If you don’t respect yourself, don’t expect others to respect yourself.
- Don’t ignore compliments
You should not defiantly turn away with a contemptuous face and show the world your cosmic inaccessibility, even if you are extremely embarrassed and dream of falling through the beautiful tiles in the store. It is simply ugly, uncivilized and does not at all paint a woman. Of course, we are talking about normal men with normal compliments, and not about “Hey, man, where did you get those crooked tights?” from the company of gopniks from the local bench, or about “Madam, are you so smart that you could add 10 rubles for a beer to me?” from the lost “ghost of communism” with a pair of lanterns on his face. For a normal man, your behavior will hurt, offend, or simply cause rejection. If you already have children, you probably know that ignoring is the scariest reaction.
- Do not express disdain
Even in the unpleasant cases described above. Be above the behavior of the woman who arrogantly folds her lips in a bow and, twitching her nostrils, looks disgustedly through the person.
- If you have been given a compliment, do not jump for joy, clap your hands, throw yourself on the “flatterer’s” neck and express delight in other overly emotional ways
This is extreme. Abandoned phrase “How beautiful you are!” (for example) also does not mean that now you owe this person anything or are obliged at least to give a reciprocal compliment. You don’t owe anyone anything. Have you noticed your beauty, talent, action? “Thank you” and “We ran to live on.” The more confusion in response to praise, the more your unreasonable “sense of duty”, the brighter the emotions from (most often) meaningless words – the more vulnerable you are to manipulating you for the purposes of men. And these goals, as a rule, are not a stamp in your passport and a villa for you in the Caribbean. See also: How to identify a pickup truck among men – important tips for women.
Reasons that do not give a woman a beautiful and correct answer to a compliment
There are no accidents in our world. Everything is interconnected, and everything has its cause and effect. No exception – and a woman’s reaction to compliments.
Why we are not able to adequately respond to praise, and what is the reason for the embarrassment, irritation or desire to “send him with compliments to the bathhouse”?
- Human rejection
The very first and main reason. The person simply does not like, frankly unpleasant, or he is simply unfamiliar to you, and your mother taught you not to respond to “shameless” compliments from beautiful and brutal strangers (according to the principle of “The Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood”).
- Low self-esteem
The second most common reason. For some reason, you are sure (or someone assured you, “hammered”, made you accept as a fact) that you are terrible, your legs are not at all like Cameron Diaz’s, and the place from which they grow is wrong. And the hands are generally nailed to the wrong place, and even the sky has deprived of talents. Why did you decide you didn’t deserve a compliment? Why do you think that you didn’t stand next to some Jennifer Lopez? Yes, she has an insured part of her body, on which men from all over the world have been salivating for many years, but not a single priest, even the most insured, can resist the influence of pregnancy, age and old age. Moreover, the men walk in formation at the smell of your borscht alone, as if hypnotized, and, barely noticing your stunning smile, they fall in stacks. Spit on your prejudices and complexes and start to respect yourself. And love.
- Awkwardness and guilt
Repetition is the mother of learning: if your merits are recognized, this does not mean that those around you live in a world of illusions or do not know you well. This means that your talent (appearance, beauty, etc.) is appreciated. Except when they openly lie to you, and you understand it. “You to me – I to you” in the case of compliments will be similar to “the cockerel praises the cuckoo.” Be natural and learn to accept compliments wisely in a feminine way – a little condescending, with a half smile, and immediately throw them out of your head.
- Heightened self-esteem
Another extreme. Women in this category are usually offended that they were not praised enough intensively or for the wrong thing. Or they only saw the “tops” while the “roots” are worth closer attention and praise. In this situation, there is only one piece of advice – look at yourself from the outside and start correcting your self-esteem. Hypertrophied self-love is called selfishness.
- Pathological suspicion
Of course, if at 2 o’clock in the morning, returning from the guests, you suddenly hear from the bushes threatening – “You are my charm!” , hit the causal place with your knee and get away as fast as you can. But in every man who compliments you, to see a scoundrel, a maniac and just a selfish type is the way to a psychologist (if not to say – to a psychiatrist). Because the attitudes “The world is evil”, “All men are good …”, “Yeah, I got a compliment again, which means I am attracting too much attention, it’s time to put on a burqa and a sackcloth dress” or “I am nothing, and I am unworthy praise “- initially come from problems in the internal psychological balance. Discretion is good, intuition is even better, unfounded chronic suspicion of everyone is pathology. It is definitely impossible to become happy with such attitudes.
How to respond correctly to a man’s compliment – instructions for self-respecting women
You’ve received a compliment. How to react, what to answer? Rejoice, blush or run without looking back?
- First, turn on your intuition.
She rarely lets a woman down. If you feel and see that they are shamelessly deceiving you, that they want something “from under you”, hope for a reciprocal curtsy, try to pity, put in an uncomfortable position – do not show your emotions, nod politely and go on with your business. If your boyfriend is too sticky – use the tips on how to ward off the obsessive boyfriend.
- Imagine – sometimes people say compliments just to please each other!
Accept this fact and rejoice in the fact that you are loved and appreciated. And even a little flattery from a good person will not hurt.
- Do not convince the “flatterer” otherwise
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Your talent means nothing to you, and the person, perhaps, has never seen anything more amazing in his life. And in general – from the outside it is better to know. Thank and forget about the compliment (tormented by it, not sleeping at night, weighing its “validity” and looking for pitfalls is useless).
- If your sincere emotions in response to a compliment do not coincide with the hopes of the “flatterer” – do not upset the person
Keep your emotions to yourself. Sincerity, of course, is great, but it can also finally “finish off” a man. A smile is your best answer. Only a modest smile – not Hollywood, not reassuring, not ingratiating. And fewer words. “Thank you” or “Thank you” is enough. If you have no problems with a sense of humor (both, of course), you can answer the praise in a joking tone. And the situation will be defused, and the awkward pause will end, and besides, laughter prolongs life.
- Do not flatter yourself
You should not fill the compliment with some kind of global meaning that was not put there at all. Maybe yours, for example, a work colleague just wanted to please you – well, he was in such a mood. And you, blushing and turning pale, are confused in words, perceiving his words for an invitation to closer communication (it is especially dangerous if you have feelings for him). Such a reaction can cost you your damaged reputation and disappointment. Try to distinguish politeness with gallantry from real flirting.
A compliment when it comes from the heart is an additional portion of the “sun” for any woman. Accept it with dignity, as a small gift, and give it back to the person with your positive energy.
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