How to break up with a partner correctly – 10 tips from a psychologist
Parting is an unpleasant and painful process. And sometimes it is difficult to say which is less pleasant: when you throw, or when you are thrown. However, to smooth out the unpleasant situation, in any case, you can use the methods of civilized separation, which will be discussed.
COLADY will tell you how to break up with your boyfriend correctly in order to maintain your dignity and not offend him.
I want to break up with a guy – how to do it right?
As sad as it may sound, not every love is eternal. Relationships deteriorate, flowers wither, once fiery feelings pass. If your feelings for a guy are cold, do not torture yourself and him, find the strength in yourself and break off an aggravating relationship…
Psychologist’s advice on how to break up with a guy correctly:
- Don’t put the breakup in a dark box. It will get harder the longer you go on a date with your unloved person, make love and return kisses. Delaying parting will only torment you. The guy is more likely to feel your “different” attitude towards him, and this will bring him pain and suffering. If you decide to break up, do so immediately. Choose the right moment for a serious conversation by assessing both your own emotional state and your partner’s mood.
- Find the right place. It is best to part on neutral territory that does not cause any associations with your partner. You shouldn’t choose places that mean a lot to your ex. A cafe or a park would be a great place. It is advisable that the option you choose is not too crowded and not very noisy.
- Think carefully about your upcoming conversation. It is best to dwell on a few meaningful phrases that will clearly make it clear to your chosen one that there is no turning back, and there will be no second chance. In order not to listen to his apologies and promises, try not to talk about the reason for the breakup. During the conversation, do not flirt or flirt.
- Control your emotions as you talk. You should not suddenly talk about your decision if the person is quick-tempered and nervous. For a conversation with a subservient and flimsy guy, you should gain strength so as not to succumb to pressure on your conscience. If you are accused of heartlessness and heartlessness, keep a calm air.
- Don’t give the guy hope. Do not give him vain hopes, do not offer to remain friends and do not accept such offers from him. Conduct the conversation in a serene manner and avoid ambiguity. Be firm, otherwise a vicious deceitful circle and omissions will not leave you.
- Ignore your boyfriend after breaking up, do not give him a chance and try to explain that the final point has been set in your relationship. You should not be rude or offend a person, because once you had tender feelings for him.
The guy wants to part with me – what to do?
If your beloved man became the initiator of your separation, understand for yourself that everything that happened is a fait accompli, and do not be tormented by endless hopes. He left – but, apparently, it was so necessary, find the strength and take it with dignity…
Simple and useful tips will help you to relieve your suffering:
- If you are abandoned, try to keep calm and demonstrate self-esteem.
- Ask your partner to explain the reason for this decision. As practice shows, men are lost from the calm behavior of their beloved and sometimes even try to re-establish relationships. In no case do not cry, do not rush to fight and do not beg the man to change his mind, these senseless actions will not bring results.
- Share your nuisance. In psychoanalysis, this technique is called grief dissipation. As a result, soon you will feel less heaviness on your soul.
- Keep a diarythat will help get rid of resentments and intrusive memories, will help relieve the severity of the experienced breakup. The offended feelings, torment, attorneys to the paper, will soon become an unpleasant past, and the emotions lived and described will cease to press on the soul and will gradually let go. See also: Why does a woman need a personal diary?
- Do something – cleaning, washing, rearranging the room or going to aerobics. Physical labor is a good cure for mental suffering and anguish.
- Don’t hold your own emotions., release them, otherwise they will destroy you from the inside.
- Plunge headlong into your career for a while. A broken love life is not yet a reason to derail everything else. Success at work will inspire and energize you.
- Arrange holidays for yourself more often, read your favorite books, watch your favorite movies. Spend more time with friends, play sports, go to parties.
Parting with a guy is right – advice from a psychologist
- The first rule of parting is to tell the man the news personally and first. In this matter, SMS and calls, e-mails are excluded. Don’t tell anyone about the breakup before it happens.
- The communication strategy for the last meeting requires careful thought. Both participants in the conversation at the fatal hour should be in a calm and pleasant mood.
- Straight Talk acts as the most humane and simple solution to the problem. Tell your partner why your relationship ended, thank him for a pleasant time together, wish him a happy future. For a beautiful parting, you can arrange a surprise for the guy as a walk, followed by a romantic dinner, and that evening, with slight sadness, announce the news of the parting. The main thing is to sincerely complete your love story.
- If a woman hesitates to say out loud the decision to part, you can write a farewell letter, but hand it over to the former lover, personally saying about the separation.
- People are different, and the ex-boyfriend after breaking up can not only bombard you with emails or text messages, but also threats. A woman should not succumb to such provocations.… Just tell your partner and walk away quietly. In this case, silence is expensive.
- When breaking up, don’t say nasty things to your partner., do not get frustrated, part with a sense of dignity.
- Never tell other people’s secrets, even after breaking up with a person, keep your mouth shut.
- Don’t throw yourself into the arms of the other guy. Give your ex partner time to calm down, let the bridges of your ex burn out.
- Never blame yourself for past feelings.… Parting is necessary so that a person can arrange his life differently. Everything that happens to you is destined for fate.
- And the most important thing – never disappear without explaining with her man about parting. This will be the worst way to end a relationship. Don’t hide without putting everything in its place. Follow the task to the end and arrange your new life with a clear conscience.
Commentary by psychologist Adelina Borzova
For a proper break in relations, you can only give advice on how to be in this situation and do everything as painlessly as possible. In the correct version of parting, the relationship is completely over, and it is no longer possible to return to them.
It is important to correctly explain to your partner the reason for the separation. We must try to identify those problems that do not suit, and explain why you see no other way but to part. However, your arguments must be clear and understandable. It is simply necessary to speak the situation, you cannot disappear without explanation. In this case, the partner may have complexes.
Do not blame your partner in any way and do not shift the responsibility for the breakup to him. Remember that this is a person you once loved and with whom you had a wonderful time in your life. He a priori does not deserve humiliation at such a difficult moment in your life together (and she is still together).
Be above placing a person in a guilty position; in this case, it is better to take the fire on yourself. Don’t get caught up in romantic memories.
Memories are the hardest thing to cross. The correct breakup is when the relationship is completely over and it is no longer possible to return to it. The most important and most difficult thing is to let go of a person from thoughts. Another rule follows from this – do not offer to remain friends. In addition, this phrase usually demeans the partner.
You need to part right away, without stretching for a long period. Therefore, prepare for all kinds of reactions from your partner – he may be offended, surprised. You should not feel sorry for him, and be led to it, postponing parting. And, of course, do not go over to shouting, do not insult each other, do not slam the door. Shouts, shouts and mutual accusations in a raised voice will not help the cause. Don’t make the situation worse, yelling will make the separation more painful for both partners.
See also: How to survive a divorce from your husband – practical advice from psychologists
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