As a child, I often heard such phrases from parents:
- “Oh, me too, queen!”
- “What are you making out of yourself?”
- “Stop talking nonsense!”
It hurts to remember … BUT! Who said that resentment against my parents should determine my future life?
Unfortunately, toxic parents significantly “poison” the lives of their children, unknowingly (or knowingly) “injecting” poison into them. The results are sad: they develop complexes, phobias, various forms of neurosis, and in the worst case, suicidal tendencies.
Today I will tell you about 3 main signs of toxic parents, knowing which you can avoid negative impact on the psyche of your children.
Read also: How do parents raise their children in the 21st century? Teachers identified 4 types of upbringing and told how to raise a child happy
Sign # 1 – Setting impossible tasks
Toxic parents always set tasks for their child that he, most likely, will not be able to complete. For instance:
- “Get the highest score on ALL exams.”
- “Be successful in any business that you would not undertake.”
- “Earn that person’s respect,” etc.
Sometimes these tasks are illogical. Even if the child fulfills them, his result, as a rule, is devalued and taken for granted.
If the child could not cope with the task at hand, then he will receive a “portion” of humiliation. By the way, this parenting model is typical of narcissistic parents.
Sign # 2 – Call for frankness
Toxic parents often have an excessive tendency to control their children.
- “Where have you been today?”.
- “What did you do?”.
- “What did that person tell you?” etc.
Usually, information received from children is then perceived against them. Often toxic parents during these “interrogations” provoke feelings of guilt in their children.
Sign # 3 – Talking about your child’s shortcomings
Toxic parents easily start and develop a conversation about the disadvantages of their chat. For instance:
- “Are you going to go to IT?”
- “Learn to speak correctly.”
- “Don’t laugh so loud!”
In a healthy parent-child relationship, such topics are raised very tactfully and delicately, or not at all. A toxic parent is not afraid to offend a child with a harsh word.
In the majority, it is the child’s appearance that is condemned, because this is a publicly available “pain point”.
Did your parents pass the toxicity test or not? Share with us in the comments!
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