Excess weight is not always a pathology. If you are comfortable with him, you are healthy physically and mentally, this is not your problem. Don’t dwell on this article. This is the story of a client who tried everything before consulting a psychologist. But her problem – gluttony – had psychological roots. I am writing in the first person, on behalf of the client, keeping the chronology and, of course, anonymity.
“Before the decree, I was a vegetarian, observed fasts, cleansed and drank melt water, which I myself prepared according to a special recipe. The first child pushed me towards the meat, the second pushed me into the abyss of gluttony. I didn’t just start eating everything, I went into all serious gastronomic crimes: fast food, canned food, baked goods, desserts. Lots of desserts. And before going to bed. And when else? She put the children to bed and ran to relieve stress. As a result, over 6 years of maternity experience, I gained … twenty kilograms and moved from the prestigious S status to the saggy L shape. “
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“This is no longer possible,” I said to myself once, looking in the mirror, and went on a diet. Thus began the exhausting phase of the hunger strikes and the subsequent period of breakdowns. A kind of weight loss zebra: the black stripe of wholesome nutrition was abruptly replaced by the white stripe of permissiveness. It all starts with a little piece “I’ll just pinch off a little bit”; then it turns into the doubting “well, I deserve it: a whole month without sweets!”, giving way to an indulgence like “Yes, don’t care! there should be a lot of a good person! I’m good! I have a right to this cake! “
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“You need to move more” – nutritionists and trainers vied with each other. I signed up for personal training in the fitness room. The husband was enough for exactly a month, it was the husband, and not me, but I, like a rabid, ran to classes every day, apparently deciding to compensate for their lack during the decree with interest.
My husband was blown away faster and said that all this is nonsense, he loves me the way I am and it is definitely not worth changing to please him. I insisted on my own and almost thundered into the hospital. I started so abruptly in my marathon that my legs and arms were shaking out of habit, my pulse was off scale, my head was spinning. Once I fainted – it was a brake light. I took a break from sports. As a result, what I managed to lose in training, I ate in a matter of days and added myself a few more grams of happiness. A complete fiasco. “
“When a friend told me that she had lost weight thanks to psychotherapy, I did not believe it. But I decided to try it. At the same time, I was one hundred percent sure that I would refuse, since I did not believe in the power of boltology. What got me hooked? Non-standard approach to the question. Our therapy began with the fact that Olga (a psychologist) asked me about what product I cannot imagine my day-to-day life without, what calms me down and grounded me? I had to choose something spontaneously and I chose pizza.
When I feel bad and I start to lose my temper, I dress the children, and we go to the home pizzeria near the house. This is how I kill three birds with one stone: calm down, be alone with yourself while the children are busy, eat the forbidden itself.
“Fine, – summed up my psychotherapist, – then we will lose weight on pizza! “ It’s cool, I wouldn’t have believed it myself if I hadn’t personally participated in this experiment. It is not at all necessary to exhaust yourself with diets and workouts, you can lose weight on pizza! Is it so?”
“I’ll be frank with you: not quite so. Although I could eat pizza (and not only) during therapy in unlimited quantities, there was no need to seal my mouth with tape and then torment myself with remorse that I was a hard-core breakdown.
The essence of therapy is to understand what exactly drives me when I pounce on this very pizza or another tasty treat, what emotion or feeling is behind it.
I liked my first assignment: allow myself to eat what is impossible, but at the same time fix what I feel, what events precede it.
In my case, I overeat from fatigue, which I did not attach importance to. Where it was necessary and possible to sit, lie down or just be silent, I turned on the maximum speed and burned my entire weekly supply of energy for mom’s everyday life at a time. As a result, I got angry, yelled at the children, grumbled at my husband, and at night, instead of sleeping, I emptied the refrigerator. As a consequence, fatigue accumulated in direct proportion to body fat.
The purpose of this pizza therapy is simple in theory: replace unhealthy binge eating habits with healthy self-care. In practice, this thought did not immediately get along with me, because earlier I was sure that every time I allow myself a treat, I take care of myself. So I’m pouring tea, opening a chocolate bar, now I’m going to sit in an armchair, grab my phone and surf social networks to distract myself from my mom and dad. When else? While the children are asleep, these are day and night dreams.
It turns out that it can and should be done differently. The battery on pizza and social networks does not charge, but only goes into sleep mode before completely shutting down. At the same time, the period of children’s sleep is ideal for a mother’s recharge. Everyone can have their own, but definitely without mischief and gadgets.
In the course of therapy, I came to understand what my resource is, what it can be and what it is based on. I realized that eating disorders also lead to breakdowns in loved ones. It became a revelation for me, after which I agreed that yes, I am ready to learn to love and take care of myself differently. “
“So, what to do to lose weight when it’s about psychological addiction?
- First, put yourself first on the list of drowning people, put on the same lifebuoy, and then save others.
- Secondly, in order not to drown, learn to patch up holes in time, and it is better to build a new boat of mother’s everyday life.
- And thirdly, to learn how to manage it so as not to drift anywhere, all the time depending on the circumstances.
To be simpler and more specific, I learned to delegate my responsibilities as a mother and housewife and not feel guilty and shame at the same time. I use the free time exclusively for the benefit of the soul and body. My favorites in this regard are sleep, massage and art therapy. “
So, the reason for my client’s weight gain is uncontrolled gluttony, with which she compensated for her fatigue. Realizing that it is not necessary to seize this fatigue, you can rest in a different way, she came to an understanding of how to do this through taking care of herself. It is a skill that can be practiced and turned into a healthy habit. The emotions and feelings that we swallow with food can be different. It is important to track them down in time and not let them go deeper into psychosomatics.
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