What not to say on a date with a man – 10 mistakes women make on a first date
The first date is always exciting. Especially for a girl. What to wear, how to behave, what topics are forbidden for conversation – all these questions are mixed into one mess in your head and haunt you. Our advice: don’t panic! Be yourself and enjoy the meeting.
And we will show you how to behave correctly so that the chosen one does not run away from you after the 1st date.
The content of the article:
Typical mistakes women make on the first date and not only – what shouldn’t a man say?
Girls make a lot of mistakes on their first dates. A young person can be frightened off by the appearance, and inappropriate phrase, excessive arrogance and ambition, etc.
To avoid annoying blunders, you should remember about the most common mistakes.
How to prepare for a date and not miss out on anything?
So, forbidden topics for the 1st date – what is absolutely not worth talking about with the gentleman?
- About kids. This topic is taboo. You should not shock the chosen one with conversations that you want a dozen beautiful girls from him and that you dream after giving birth to sit at home and support the hearth. Children are a serious step for any man, and such a revelation will be an “electric shock” for him before your separation.
- About marriage. Even if you decide that he is the same prince, your half and one of a kind, you do not need to immediately tell him about your dreams – “together to the grave in sorrow and joy.” And you shouldn’t drive him past the shops with wedding dresses either. No hints! Including stories about the wedding of a girlfriend (brother, sister, etc.). Do not frighten the gentleman with your pressure.
- Living together and other plans for the future. It is not advisable to ask him “What’s next?” This is your first date, not his anniversary. Forget about questions like – “how do you see our future relationship.” Do not imply that he may move in with you (or vice versa). This is an exclusively male initiative, otherwise your chosen one will simply decide that he is being yoked.
- “How many women did you have before me?” One of the most taboo topics for your 1st meeting. Everything that came before you does not matter and applies only to him. It is unlikely that your gentleman will appreciate excessive curiosity. If a similar question is asked to you (“how many men did you have before me”), walk away from the conversation or delicately “take a full bolt” of the gentleman, showing that your past life does not concern him.
- “My ex was such a bastard!” Of course, this is not a topic for the 1st date (see above). A categorical taboo! In addition, impartial statements about your ex-half will show you in a completely unfavorable light. What if you and him will be so “watered”, if suddenly you part? So the topic is banned. And if you are still “pushed against the wall” and asked about your ex, then with a smile, let him know that he was a good guy, but your paths diverged.
- We don’t complain or cry into a vest! Forget about your problems: you do not need to dump them on the chosen one. For a man, complaints (and tears) of a girl are a reason for decisive action (help, support, solve all problems). And your “petitions to keep the conversation going” can scare off a young person who is not yet ready to take responsibility for you.
- Career and financial situation. You don’t know yet – who your man really is, where he works, what his financial situation is. Your unwitting bragging about a successful rise up the career ladder can frighten off a guy who can’t even pay for dinner at a restaurant yet. You should also not torture the gentleman with questions of this kind. If he earns little, he will be embarrassed in front of you, and if he is a lot, he will decide that you are a mercantile person with whom you should not get involved. However, he can decide so in the first case as well.
- Do not torment the gentleman with your neuroses. Yes, your credit is too heavy. Yes, the last tights were torn. Yes, the cat tore your exchange paper to shreds, etc. But this is not a reason – to dump your depression on the chosen one. Maybe he had a much worse day than yours, and he just wants to relax in your company with humor jokes and light flirting. And here you are with “PMS”, a stolen handbag or a flood in the apartment.
- Diet. Also a forbidden topic. Firstly, if he paid attention to you, it means that everything in you suits him. Secondly, the man is not interested in how long you can survive on kefir, and, of course, the woman who, sadly chewing on broccoli, greedily looks at his skewer with lamb is not happy.
- Intimate relationships. It is not worth talking about them in any context: neither to hint that you are “not against”, nor to warn that “before the wedding – no, no,” the soul matters! ” In the first case, he will consider you too licentious, in the second, he will simply run away, in the third, he will be surprised at first, and then he will run away anyway.
- “I am a convinced vegetarian!” This is great, and this is your right. But you should not immediately scare a man by the fact that you cannot stand even the sight of a poor killed chicken, and you generally faint from pork. The man is a predator. Few men are vegetarians. And the thought that a potential wife will stuff him with cabbage and spinach, of course, will not add optimism.
- “Let’s go, I’ll introduce you to your parents!” You shouldn’t offer it and do it. This is not the time! Even if he does not mind, and your parents are very nice – refrain. It’s too early.
- Plans for the future. Seemingly innocent topic. But if your boyfriend has serious plans for you, and your plans include, for example, a trip abroad for permanent residence, then this is a reason not to make more dates.
- Criticism. No criticism! You should not at all give any assessment to his appearance, preferences, tastes, etc. Be very careful in expressions.
What shouldn’t you do?
- First of all, be late.
- Constantly look at the clock.
- Write SMS, go online and interrupt dates by phone calls with girlfriends.
Also remember that a girl should be a mystery – do not reveal all the cards at once.
Just don’t overdo it! You should be a riddle, not a Japanese crossword puzzle.
What and how best to talk to a guy on the first date – and on the next one too?
The ideal option is to be silent and listen. Let him speak. Your role is a grateful listener. Nod, agree, smile mysteriously, admire (not at full strength).
And remember about the unspoken rules of communication:
- Be as natural as possible.
- Avoid taboo topics. Discuss new films, books you read, etc.
- Don’t strain yourself. Both you and the gentleman should be easy and comfortable.
- Do not be rude. Femininity, tenderness and kindness are your advantages. They always decorate.
- Avoid vulgar makeup when choosing a romantic look for a date. – only naturalness and lightness in soft pleasant tones. Don’t go overboard with accessories and opt for a classic French manicure. We dress elegantly and femininely.
- Do not hide your eyes from the gentleman. It is one thing to look away at a moment of special embarrassment, and quite another to constantly look to the side or, even worse, above the eyes of the interlocutor (on the forehead, bridge of the nose, etc.).
- If you are interested in the life of the chosen one, do not arrange an interrogation. Your curiosity should bring a smile, not the feeling that you are an investigator.
- Think over the route of the walk in advance. Take your gentleman to places that you have something to tell about.
- Positive emotions always bring people closer together. Offer him an active pastime – rollerblading or ice skating. Or “by chance” remember that today the movie you have been waiting for is being shown. Do not wander the streets in vain – topics will quickly be exhausted, and an awkward pause will certainly arise. Therefore, be active and use every opportunity to look at the gentleman from different angles.
- Take your money with you. It is not known if your boyfriend plans to pay the entire bill for dinner at a restaurant (cafe), so insure in advance. What if he is a supporter of the “50/50” scheme? And try not to visit places where the gentleman will have to seriously empty the wallet – you can put him in an awkward position. By the way, for what and in what cases should a man pay for a woman?
- Don’t agree to date in unfamiliar places, from which (in which case) it will be difficult to get out. Especially if you met this gentleman via the Internet. Insurance doesn’t hurt here either.
- If a man tried to pleasantly surprise you (for example, a meeting place, a romantic dinner, etc.), do not forget to thank him for a pleasant evening and praise him for a well-chosen place.
- Should I Compliment? Of course, men love to be praised. But don’t overdo it. Artificial feigned praise and theatrical delight will only alienate him from you. Praise can only be done “in between”, delicately and briefly noting, for example, his excellent taste or perfect action.
- Saying goodbye to the gentleman, do not ask – “when will we see you?” or “will you call me?” Pride is above all. This role is your chosen one. He will decide for himself – when, whether it is worth it, and where. He will call himself, he will call for a meeting. It’s up to you to agree or disagree. But you need to behave so that the gentleman understands that you do not refuse to continue, but you are not going to immediately jump into his arms.
The habits and character of a man – what and how does he talk on the first date?
Even without knowing anything about a man, you can understand a lot from his habits, gestures, casually thrown phrases, facial expressions.
How to understand – what kind of person is in front of you, and what to pay attention to?
- A good half of the date, he “shakes out” your soul and pours angry comments in the direction of the former passion. Conclusion: this person is not for you. A real man will never speak negatively about his ex-girlfriend (wife).
- He excitedly talks about his work or hobbyinterrupting you and practically ignoring your answers. Conclusion: you will never be in first place for him, and he knows absolutely nothing about respect for a woman.
- He tells you about his heroic adventures, about student “everyday life” with sexual exploits, about the numerous former women who “pile up” under his feet. No withdrawal required. A man thinks too highly of himself, and will walk “to the left” until old age.
- In his speech, words-parasites or even obscene words slip through. Of course, if you are from a family of intellectuals and faint from the word “pancake”, and the gentleman “pours out swear words”, then even to meet his mother it is embarrassing and scary. But a dirty word accidentally dropped does not mean that this man is a scoundrel and is not worth your attention. Of course, if he wants to please you and win you over, he will control his speech, but you should not draw categorical conclusions based on a couple of accidentally thrown words.
- A financially secure person will never brag about his status. On the contrary, he will hide it in order to check the chosen one for commercialism. At the same time, “throwing money” in a restaurant does not mean that a man earns well. Maybe he had been saving up for this dinner for six months.
- Uncertainty, some stiffness and silence of the partner – this is not a minus, but rather a plus. Only Casanova has everything planned and worked out to the smallest detail – compliments, serious conversations about marriage and children, etc. He will observe and remember.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
If his boots shine, and the arrows are ironed on his trousers, this does not mean absolutely nothing. He may turn out to be a slob who was just trying really hard to impress you. Or it may turn out to be hyper-clean, even at home you need to wear shoe covers and a gauze bandage “because there are microbes everywhere!” (it happens).
Again, if he is relaxed, generous and brutal, this is does not mean that the gentleman is just like that in life… The same can be said for the phrases you hear.
Remember the main thing: the man on the 1st date is usually the complete opposite of his true nature.
If you liked our article and you have any thoughts about this, please share with us. Your opinion is very important for us!
Must share this useful content with your loved one's
Visit Bologny for more useful and informative articles!