Why striving for perfection is a road to nowhere

The role of women in the modern world is exceptional, but, unfortunately, such important moments as a deliciously cooked dinner, well-groomed children, a tidy apartment have come to be considered commonplace, everyday. All this work, as a matter of course, does not cause admiration, words of approval, praise from anyone.

Every woman literally blooms, having received not only a compliment, but also just warm words spoken from the bottom of her heart. As you know, a kind word is pleasant to a cat. And as life shows, cats in their address receive much more tenderness and attention than women.

What do women have to go to to get words of admiration? After all, just being a woman, wife and mother is no longer enough … They have to strive for perfection, for ideality in everything. But what the pursuit of ideality leads to and what is fraught with, an expert on working with the subconscious tells us Maria Samarina.

Photo @ samarina.maria

Successful success as an ideal lifestyle

An ideal woman with a perfect figure, perfect hairstyle and perfect makeup is an ideal wife and an ideal mother, she has an ideal husband and an ideal father for her ideal children, in their apartment with a perfect renovation there is always perfect order! The perfect combination for the perfect life!

How many things are ideal in our world, so far from ideal! Don’t you?

All tabloids, media, social networks, bloggers have been broadcasting our successful success for a long time! They all lived in Moscow City, flew by private planes, rested in luxury resorts and drank expensive champagne …

We believed and did not believe at the same time, but so many wanted to live that way! Where does this striving for everything ideal come from, and who defines these ideals?

Girl, are you smart?

We all come from childhood …

In school years, perhaps, each of us was given an example of a classmate, an excellent girl, ideal in all respects. The teachers honored such “smart girls” and set them up as an example to the whole class: they asked to stand up when the whole class was sitting, so we all felt as if we were “lower”.

And whom did my mother not urge to look at the neighbor’s girl Lenochka (Katya, Lyubochka), citing her academic performance, always neat braids, a neat look, helping her mother with the housework and ideal behavior as an example?

And involuntarily, each of us began to doubt ourselves, to feel not good enough, beautiful, smart, correct, began to compare ourselves with the one that was set as an example for us by people who are authoritative for us – people whose opinion for us was unconditional, important, determining.

And each of us wondered: “Am I smart?” And, as a rule, she understood that no …

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Perfect perfectionism

Having matured, “not smart girls” by hook or by crook try their best to become these very smart girls. They try to comply with generally accepted ideals – the traditional canons of family and relationships, standards of beauty and education. Such girls, having become women, overly strive for perfection and perfection in everything, and the name of this is perfectionism.

Perfectionism puts us in a rigid evaluation framework, makes us set very high demands on others, but above all on ourselves. Idealists become completely intolerant, irreconcilable to their own and other people’s shortcomings, and this is the most fertile ground for the growth of internal tension and, as a result, conflicts with others.

Women with “excellent pupil syndrome” are in a continuous, endless race for the best result, whatever the cost. For them, perfectionism itself is elevated to a superlative degree and becomes ideal. But, as you know, the best is the enemy of the good …

Therefore, you need to be able to stop in time and look around, are we missing something very important in this eternal race? Have we lost ourselves? Are we living our own lives?

Where are you in all this?

At present, the fashionable “gloss” and the beauty sphere are very vividly illustrating the pursuit of perfection. Magazines vying with each other publish on the covers and spreads of beauties with plump lips, long nails and eyelashes, pronounced cheekbones and ideal body shapes.

And women, seeing them, again and again doubt themselves, more and more burrowing in their own inferiority. In pursuit of these ideals, many make beauty injections, embark on risky operations in order to get even a little closer to the cherished ideal.

The imposed stereotypes also add fuel to the fire: in order to be loved, praised, to be admired, you need to be perfect in everything. So that you are not criticized and appreciated, you have no right to make a mistake. And so you try to match again and again …

But where are you in all this? Where are you real?

Uniqueness or a path to nowhere? What do you choose?

I will tell you a little about myself. I am 35 years old, I am married, I have three children. I am developing my school of mindfulness and actively running my Instagram. I really love and appreciate naturalness in everything: I love natural fabrics, organic food and do not use decorative cosmetics at all in my everyday life and, by the way, I never use “masks” in social networks.

samarina.maria 3
Photo @ samarina.maria

I am not afraid that someone will think or write to me that I am ugly. I am what I am! I am unique in all my manifestations, and this is my main value. And I’ll also tell you a big secret: naturalness is the main trend of the future! And there is no need to chase ideals!

Hundreds and even thousands of women in a very depressed state come to my school of mindfulness every day. Everything is falling apart for them, failure in all spheres of life: men are not like that and not the same, there is no money, children do not obey and are constantly ill, and women themselves often have health problems.

Each of them is constantly experiencing anxiety, stress, many are on the verge of depression.

So they come and say: “All the men – to …” or “but my husband …” And I tell them: “Leave your husband alone! Take care of yourself! ” And the first thing I ask them about is to realize yourself, figure out who you really are, what you are, how you live your life, in pursuit of what, and most importantly, whose ideals, you “waste” your own uniqueness.

A long and difficult work on oneself begins – no one said that it would be easy! And it is so great, after 3-4 months, to see clarity and awareness in the eyes of these women, to see how their eyes shine with happiness and love for themselves and for life, to hear that they accept themselves as they were created according to the Highest Intention.

After going through certain practices, everyone as one shares their insights, the main of which sounds like this: “Striving for perfection is a road to nowhere. Life is the greatest value, unique for each of us! Each has its own special purpose. Follow the path of the Heart! Do what you must and come what may! “

And I am happy day by day to realize that my school is changing the lives of thousands of women for the better! And on the eve of the most magical holiday of the New Year, I wish every woman to learn to accept and love herself, to appreciate her uniqueness and life!

Be happy, beauties! Each of you is unique and perfect by birth!

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