The material was provided by psychologist, cognitive-behavioral therapist, member of the Association for Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy, Diana Daver.
Are you in love? Do you think it will keep this feeling for life? I don’t want to upset you, but don’t jump to conclusions!
Now I will tell you 10 basic differences between love and falling in love. Test your senses.
1. The rate of occurrence
Falling in love develops rapidly, is calculated in days, weeks. Love takes more time and develops over several months and sometimes years.
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2. Intensity of feeling
When in love, a person seeks to “possess” the object of his affection, to be constantly together, counts the minutes before the meeting, cannot concentrate on his affairs, can think about his beloved all day.
Falling in love does not allow you to focus on important things, leads to mistakes in work, ignorance of your duties. Love makes a person calmer and more confident, promotes creativity, improves results in work, study, and contributes to success. In love, a person feels comfortable, continues to fulfill his duties, becomes the best version of himself.
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3. Duration of feeling
Falling in love lasts from several days to several months, it is always finite. Falling in love can turn into a deeper feeling, into love, or end in separation. Love can accompany a person all his life.
4. Freedom and ability to be yourself
Falling in love is like a drug, subjugates a person to itself. Except for the beloved, he does not need anyone, the person becomes addicted and is ready for rash acts. Love, on the other hand, gives a feeling of freedom. In love, there is no need to be with another around the clock, separation is easier to bear. In a relationship filled with love, a person gets to know himself better.
5. Falling in love is reactive and emotional.
Lovers often sort things out, quarrel or take offense, the intensity of passions does not allow the couple to come to a consensus calmly. Everyone wants to get the most out of the other and this sooner or later leads to a quarrel or separation. Loving people solve issues more calmly, their decisions are deliberate, weighed, loud quarrels and resentments are rare.
6. Focus on yourself or others
Falling in love is selfish, people are fixated on each other and getting pleasure from each other. Love sows goodness and light for everyone around. A lover may forget to visit a sick mother or help a child with lessons. Loving people give more to their loved ones, because they become stronger and filled with kindness and patience.
7. Adequacy of perception
It seems to the lover that his partner is the best person on earth. He is beautiful in everything, he has no shortcomings. Falling in love does not allow you to see a person as he is. When a person loves, he is able to see the strengths and weaknesses of a partner, but accepts him entirely. Love allows you to admit that a partner is not perfect, but is the most suitable and desirable.
8. The basis of occurrence
Falling in love is most often based on the external attractiveness of a partner. Love is based on the personal qualities of a partner, his inner world, spirituality. Therefore, for falling in love, the figure, face, voice, manner of dress and external charisma are important. And for love, it is important how a person thinks, how good he is, for example.
9. Ability to let go
Sometimes it happens that a person needs to be released for his own good. Falling in love does not allow you to part with the object of your claims. Even if people feel bad together, they are not ready to let go of each other. Love, on the other hand, allows you to let go of the other, if it is better for him. For the good of the other person, a loving partner is able to let him go.
10. Depth of feeling
Love is reactive, but superficial, so it cannot stand the test of time and distance. Lovers easily forget each other at a distance, relationships deteriorate if they see each other less often or not at all. Lovers need to constantly feed their feelings, keeping the other in the field of reach. Love is able to pass the test both by time and distance. People at a distance get bored, begin to appreciate each other more, the feeling only gets stronger.
Is your relationship with your partner like love or falling in love? Share with us in the comments!
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