A child sleeps with his parents – pros and cons, how to wean a child from sleeping with his parents

As soon as a little man is born, parents, first of all, prepare a crib for himat. So that the mattress is natural, and the sides are soft, and the linen is beautiful, and the musical carousel is a must. However sleep the baby is most often laid in the parent’s bed, which he gets used to very quickly. How can you wean your child from this habit, and is it possible for a child to sleep with mom and dad at all?

The content of the article:

The benefits of having a child sleeping with their parents – is there any harm?

Whether to put the baby in his bed – every mom decides for myself. Even pediatricians and psychologists have no consensus on this matter. Therefore, we understand the pros and cons, as well as the age limits – when it is possible and when it is no longer worth it.

should children sleep with their parents

Why the baby shouldn’t sleep with the parents:

  • Independence and individuality are formed the faster and more actively, the more conditions for this process, including (in this case) – your own room, your own bed, your own space. The radio nanny on my mother’s bedside table saves me from worries that “the baby will cry, but I won’t hear”. As a last resort, a newborn’s crib next to the parent’s bed.

should children sleep with their parents

  • Sleep next to mom for a long time (especially after 3-4 years) is strong dependence on mom in the future (In most cases). In making decisions, the child will be guided by the opinion of the mother.
  • A parent can accidentally crush a newborn baby in a dream. Usually mothers perfectly feel their children in a dream (the maternal instinct has not been canceled), but the risk of crushing the child sharply increases with acute fatigue or taking sleeping pills, sedatives, etc. But dads have no maternal instinct – an awkward movement in a dream can end tragically.
  • In the case when dad badly lacks mom’s attention, putting the baby in the parent’s bed is impractical – this will not do the good of the relationship.
  • Closeness between parents with a sleeping baby, at least difficult… Which, too, is not good for marital relations.

should children sleep with their parents

  • For hygiene reasons the child is also not recommended to be laid with the parents. Firstly, the unhealthy parents will be reflected in the baby. Secondly, washing the diaper from the crib is much easier than drying the parent’s mattress.
  • According to statistics more than 50% of coupleslaying children in their beds between dad and mom, get divorced.

Opinions of experts in favor of sleeping with the baby’s parents:

  • From birth to 2-3 years old, sleep for the crumbs at the mother’s side does not carry any harm (we do not take into account the personal relations between dad and mom). After 2-3 years, the baby should be “relocated” to a baby bed without fail.

should children sleep with their parents

  • Sleeping with a baby in bed – natural phenomenon for mom, who simply does not physically have enough strength to get up to the bed every 2-3 hours.
  • For a newborn (especially from 0 to 3 months) sleeping with mom is the feeling of her warmth and absolute security. During pregnancy, the baby gets used to the mother’s breathing rhythm, to the heartbeat, to the voice. In the first weeks – to the smell. And for the baby’s peace of mind, the closeness of the mother in the first 3 months is a necessity, not a whim.
  • In bed with mom and dad baby wakes up less often respectively, parents get better sleep
  • Baby closeness promotes lactation and a calm process of feeding the crumbs “on demand”.
  • Sharing a dream – an emotional connection with a baby, which is very important in the first weeks and months of a baby’s life.

should children sleep with their parents

  • Children who slept with their parents are less afraid of the dark at an older age and fall asleep easier.
  • When you sleep together the cycles of sleep and wakefulness of the crumbs are synchronized and mom.
  • Sharing a dream is a mustwhen the mother immediately after giving birth goes to work, and the time for communication with the baby is limited by the working day.

And a few rules about the safety of sleeping mom and baby:

  • Do not lay the crumbs between yourself and your spouseso that dad does not accidentally crush the baby in a dream. Lay close to the wall or roll up the blanket.
  • The place where the baby sleeps should be rigid. From a soft bed in the future, there may be problems with the spine.
  • Do not over-wrap the baby when you take him to your place at night. And cover with a separate blanket.
  • In case of severe fatigue, taking serious medications, or lack of sleep, put the baby separately.

should children sleep with their parents

How to stop a child from sleeping with their parents – detailed instructions for parents

Weaning your baby out of sleeping together (if he has already acquired this habit) should be no later than 2-3 years (and better after 1.5 years). Get ready that the process will be difficult and long, be patient. And we will tell you how to “get by with a little blood” and wean a baby over 2-3 years old from your bed as painlessly as possible.

  • If there is some important event in the baby’s life, which can seriously affect his psychological state – postpone the “resettlement”… Such an event can be a move, the birth of a brother / sister, a kindergarten, a hospital, etc.
  • It is strongly not recommended to abruptly relocate a small resident of your bed in a separate bed according to the principle – “From this day you sleep in your bed, period.” Transition to new sleep conditions gradually and in stages.

should children sleep with their parents

  • We start with a nap… For daytime sleep – in a crib. Of course, mom is there until the baby falls asleep. And of course – all the conditions for a comfortable sleep.
  • For a night’s sleep, to begin with – not a separate bed, but a light barrier between you. For example, a toy.

should children sleep with their parents

  • Conditions for a comfortable night’s sleep the child is traditional: fresh clean bedding (preferably with a pattern that the baby himself chooses – cartoon heroes, etc.); comfortable mattress and the bed itself; favorite toy; night light on the wall; ventilated room; no active games before bed; fragrant bath; full stomach; bedtime story; murals, etc.
  • Never punish your baby with the “If you misbehave, go to your bed” method. A crib should be a place to crawl into and fall asleep, snuggled up in a ball, and not a place of “show flogging”.
  • If the baby categorically does not want to move, start small. Move his crib to the parent’s bed. If the baby suddenly dreams of a babayka or imagines a monster in the closet, he will be able to urgently move under the barrel to you. Gradually, in the process of getting used to the child, the crib can be pushed further and further.

should children sleep with their parents

  • If the kid wants to go to bed instead of a small teddy bear, a huge hare or even a car, do not argue with him. Let him take it, since it is safer for him to sleep with his favorite toy. When he falls asleep, carefully remove it or move it to your feet, at the very end of the bed. The same applies to underwear: if a baby requires a set with a spider-man, do not impose on him underwear with flowers or stars.

should children sleep with their parents

  • Choose a night light with your child… Let him decide who will light it up at night and protect it with its fabulous light from babayas (if he is afraid of them).
  • Allowing your child to be self-reliant can help increase your toddler’s self-esteem. (“Hurray, mom thinks I’m an adult!”) And thus help him move into his own bed with less stress.
  • Ask a family or friend (a person whose authority is undeniable for a baby) casually bring up the topic of sleeping together with the child… Usually the opinion from the outside, and even an important person for the child, is very valuable. Let this person gently, in a narrative form and “by his own childhood example” convey to the baby that at this age you need to sleep in your bed. Like, but at your age I already …

should children sleep with their parents

  • Has the baby been sleeping separately for a whole week? This is a reason to have a little party in honor of his independence. With cakes, a gift and a “medal” from mom for courage and independence.
  • Get ready for the first days (or even weeks) the little one will come running, creep up to you at night… What to do in this case? Wait for the baby to fall asleep, and then gently transfer it back to the “place of permanent deployment.” Or get up right away, escort the baby back to bed and sit side by side until he falls asleep again.

should children sleep with their parents

  • If your child is over 4 years old and he is still sleeping in your bed, it’s time to think. Either the child has psychological problems (fears, for example), or the child remains in your bed due to problems in his personal life. This situation is not uncommon. Some mothers, not wanting intimacy with their husband for any reason, leave the baby to sleep in the matrimonial bed. And in fact, and in another case, a solution to the problem is required.
  • Use a radio nanny… Or buy two walkie-talkies so that the child can call you at any time or just make sure that you are there and do not forget about him. Walkie-talkies are a fashionable toy for a child, and therefore a real “play” find for this business. It’s much easier to teach a kid something through a game.
  • Make bedtime a tradition of yours: swim before going to bed, drink milk and cookies (for example), talk with mom about the most important things in the world, read a new interesting fairy tale, etc. alone in my bed.

should children sleep with their parents

Remember, every child has a subconscious fear that while he sleeps, the world may turn upside down, and the mother may disappear. Therefore, it is important that the baby always feels your support and closeness.
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Have you had similar situations in your family life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!

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