A three-year-old child hits and bites everyone – what should parents do, and where does this problem come from?
3 years is the age at which the activity of the toddler begins to rapidly increase. Often, babies begin to behave “strangely”, and many mothers and fathers complain about the sudden aggressiveness of children who strive to bite, push or hit someone. Considering that 3 years is also the age when children are first taken to kindergarten, parents’ “headaches” increase significantly.
Why do little bully people become biting, and how to get rid of this “biting”?
Let’s figure it out together!
The content of the article:
- Reasons for the biting and pugnaciousness of the three-year-old
- What to do when a child bites and fights – instructions
- What shouldn’t be done categorically?
Why a 3-year-old child beats and bites everyone at home or in the kindergarten – all the reasons for the aggression of a three-year-old
Negative emotions are familiar to everyone. And it is generally accepted that they are a manifestation of “evil” and the negative principle in a person.
However, it is worth remembering that emotions are a response to the actions / words of the people around them.
Unfortunately, emotions are able to control us, and they completely take possession of the little man. This is where the legs of strange childish behavior “grow”.
Where does bite in babies come from – the main reasons:
- Inappropriate parental reaction to biting and pugnaciousness. Perhaps this reason can be called the most popular (and not only in relation to aggressiveness). When the little one bites for the first time or makes an attempt to fight, parents perceive this fact as a “stage of growing up” and limit themselves to laughter, jokes, or “he is still small, not scary.” But the child, having not met a negative assessment of his actions, begins to consider such behavior as the norm. After all, mom and dad are smiling – so you can! Over time, this becomes a habit, and the child begins to bite and fight already consciously.
- Mainstream effect. When in kindergarten certain children allow themselves to be biting and pugnacious and do not meet the resistance of the teacher, the “infection” passes to other children. After a while, sorting out the relationship between children in this way becomes “the norm”, because they simply were not taught otherwise.
- The answer to the offense. They pushed, took away the toy, offended with rudeness and so on. Unable to cope with feelings, the crumb uses teeth and fists.
- The toddler does not understand what is hurting the other person. (did not explain).
- The atmosphere in the house is unfavorable (conflicts, quarrels, dysfunctional families, etc.) for the peace of mind of the little one.
- Lack of activity (lack of opportunities to express their emotions).
- Attention deficit. He may be missed at home or in kindergarten. The “abandoned” child attracts attention by any means – and, as a rule, the child chooses the most negative ways.
Of course, one should not sound the alarm and panic if the little one quietly “bit” a dad or a child in a kindergarten group a couple of times – but, if it’s a habit, and the baby begins to cause real pain to children or parents, then it is time to radically change something and turn to a psychologist.
What to do if a child bites, hits other children, or fights with a parent – instructions on how to calm a brawler
The passivity of parents in the fight against child biting can eventually come back to haunt a full-fledged disease, which will have to be treated not with patience and parental ingenuity, but with the help of a psychiatrist. Therefore, it is important to respond in a timely manner and stop biting at the root.
If you first encountered (felt) the biting of a child, react correctly: calm and strict (but without shouting, slapping and swearing) explain to the baby that this should not be done. Why can’t you shout at a child, and how can you replace parental shouts in upbringing?
Be sure to clarify – why not… The child should understand and feel that you did not like this behavior at all, and it is better not to repeat it in the future.
What to do next?
We memorize the basic rules of combating biting and do not move away from them a single step:
- We strictly and fairly react to all the “tricks” of the little one. Any negative actions and attempts to bite, push, kick, etc., should be stopped immediately.
- We study the reasons for the baby’s behavior. This point, perhaps, can even be put first. Analyze the situation! If you understand what is the reason for the bite of the child, then it will be easier for you to correct the situation.
- If the child defiantly ignores the parental “this is not good,” seek a compromise. Don’t give up.
- If you have forbidden something to the child, bring the educational process to its logical conclusion without fail. The word “no” should be ironclad. To prohibit and say “ay-ay-ay”, and then give up, because there is no time or “no big deal” – this is your loss.
- Have conversations with your child. Explain more often about “good and bad”, eradicate bad habits in the bud, then you will not have to uproot them later.
- Be strict but loving. The child should not be afraid of you, the child should understand you.
- If biting is a child’s reaction to an insult inflicted by peers, then teach the kid not to be offended and respond with offenders in other ways. Use role-playing games, act out scenes with the help of which the baby will learn to react correctly.
- Take a closer look at the group that the toddler is visiting, as well as his peers. Perhaps someone from the environment teaches him to bite. Observe the baby himself – how exactly he communicates with other children in kindergarten, whether they offend him, does he bully everyone himself.
- Be sure to ask your toddler to feel sorry for the one he bit.and ask for forgiveness.
- If biting is most active in kindergarten, and the teacher is unable to see for your child due to the large number of children, consider the option transferring crumbs to another garden… Perhaps private, where an individual approach is practiced.
- Give your baby more free space: there should be a lot of personal space. Your child should have the opportunity to express himself, relieve negative emotions, cool feelings.
- Alternate active activities with your child with calm ones. And before going to bed, do not overload the baby’s nervous system: 2 hours before bedtime – only calm games, an hour before bedtime – bathing with lavender, then warm milk, a fairy tale and sleep.
- Always Encourage Your Toddler’s Good Behavior… Basic principles of parenting without punishment
It is important to understand that biting is only the first time a prank. And then it can turn into not only tears of the bitten companion of your child, but also a serious injury with stitches.
Well, and there it is not far from the lawsuit filed by the victim’s parents.
When to get help?
Most parents try to cope with baby bite on their own – and rightly so! But there are situations in which you cannot do without the help of a child psychologist.
We can assume that such a moment has come if …
- You cannot cope with the baby, and biting is already becoming a habit.
- If the atmosphere in the family is difficult (divorce, conflicts, etc.), in the presence of a factor of difficult life circumstances.
- If the biting baby is more than 3 years old.
Mistakes that should not be tolerated or should not be done when a child bites or fights
Before weaning a toddler from a bad habit, take a close look at yourself – are you doing everything right, if the baby has any discomfort due to your fault.
Rememberthat a child in the first few years of life actively absorbs everything that is seen around. Therefore, it is important to be more critical of your actions and words.
What can not be done categorically when “treating” biting?
- Punish for bites, raise your voice, beat a child, lock a bite in a room, etc. Any punishment will be taken with hostility, and the child, in spite of everyone, will only increase the intensity of its biting.
- Laugh at such antics of the baby, be moved by hooliganism and pranks and indulge his bad habit (as well as any other types of aggression and cruelty). Remember: we stop bad habits right away!
- Give in to blackmail (sometimes children use biting and rampage to force their mother to buy something, stay longer at a party, etc.). No screaming or spanking – just take your baby’s armpit and silently leave the store (guests).
- Reply in kind. Even if it hurts you from the bite, it is strictly forbidden to bite or spank the child in response. Aggression will only multiply the aggression. And for a child who does not understand that biting is bad, such an act of yours will also be offensive.
- Ignore the baby’s bad aggressive habits. This will lead to their strengthening.
- Take offense at the baby. Even not all adults are able to control themselves, let alone three-year-old toddlers.
- Read serious lectures on morality. At this age, the child does not need them. It is necessary to explain the difference between “good and bad”, but in accessible language and, preferably, with examples.
Your chosen tactics of behavior should be unchanged… No matter what.
Be patient, and with the right behavior, this crisis will quickly pass you!
Have you had similar situations in your family life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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