Catherine had a fight with her boss and lost her job. For almost 8 years, Ekaterina worked in a large corporation, and held the position of deputy director. The ambitious woman was ready to move on, but the conflict with the leader canceled all plans.
Only one stupidity determined the further fate. “Why did I tell the new boss that he was a goat? It would be better if I left silently, with a good characterization, ”Ekaterina was angry with herself, posting her resume on sites with new vacancies.
Those who want to repeat the fate of Catherine – you can not read further, the rest will get acquainted with the effective methods of psychologists, how to learn how to control their emotions.
Why are emotions given to a person?
First, an analysis of the concepts. Feelings are the experiences of a person, his inner world. Emotions are feelings splashed out. In fact, both phenomena are similar.
The Lord created people like that. Fear helps to react to danger, anxiety – to prepare for the threat. Love connects hearts with the knots of marriage. Sincere remorse becomes an obstacle to repeating mistakes. Anger forces you to repel the attack.
It is impossible to control the process, but the behavior is completely.
But if everything is natural, maybe you shouldn’t even fight the negative? Allowing yourself to always act on the basis of feelings is a wrong tactic that will lead to sad consequences: divorce, loss of friends, meeting new enemies.
Read also: Sage Sadhguru explains how emotional turmoil prevents teenagers and adults from focusing on important things
Emotions control a person or a person’s emotions?
Emotions influence a person’s decision-making in different situations. There are a lot of examples around. In the early morning, a businessman in a hurry puts on his wife’s ironed suit, packs folders with papers in a bag and has breakfast on the go. I didn’t have the strength to pack my things before going to bed, so after waking up I have to run like a squirrel in a wheel.
The phone rings, things fall out of my hands, and my daughter spills coffee on her father’s pants. It is not difficult to guess about further developments of events. This begs a logical question: how much time could the father save if he had not yelled like crazy at the poor girl? Then he apologized for the scandal and finally did what he had to do right away – changed his clothes. The result is being late for a meeting with a client and deep regret for what they did.
This is how quickly and easily rage takes control of people. Sometimes, after a conflict with relatives, it is difficult to understand what kind of power harbored anger towards loved ones and made them raise their voice. Yes, there was a reason for a quarrel, but many families quarrel among themselves over trifles. “Having cooled down”, they begin to think sensibly. Changing this state of affairs is difficult, but possible.
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Controlling emotions – why it matters
Imagine what colors a person’s life will shine when he learns to control emotions. The world will seem easy and friendly. Being in a good mood hasn’t hurt anyone yet, so it’s about developing a certain behavior during an explosive attack of hatred and anger.
Taking the following steps is a direct path to defeat:
- letting off steam on others – the consequences were described at the very beginning;
- ignore feelings, not paying attention to negative emotions, a person involuntarily intensifies them;
- “Drink alcohol”. This is especially true for representatives of professions whose work is not complete without the violence of nerve cells: doctors, policemen, teachers. At work, you constantly have to restrain yourself when communicating with people, and at home you have to overcome your difficulties. It seems that alcohol will help “not explode”, but addiction will develop quickly, and excessive consumption will harm your health;
- contain anger. Always wearing a false mask of a smiling good-natured person will not work: at one point there will be an irresistible desire to beat everyone around and smash the dishes.
Psychology: 7 Ways to Control Your Emotions
- Take advantage of. In fact, anger encourages the pursuit of power, and attempts to counter this phenomenon repeatedly fuel irritability.
- Actions in the “hot spot”. What to do in a specific situation with emotions that have overtaken at the wrong moment? For example, during a meeting. Breathe evenly, inhale and exhale for 3-5 seconds. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
- Connect your imagination. Imagine sensations in the form of a monkey, which is bored to sit still. Describe the appearance of an animal, or mentally draw a picture of the sea, sandy beach, wonderful sun.
- Comprehension. In a calm atmosphere, rethink what happened. What made you angry? But before that, it is imperative to recover and rest. To do this, you can use a rocking chair and focus on the sounds of the world around you. This will “switch” the brain. And only then get down to work.
- Say Stop. If there is a trouble in the house, say to the interlocutor in a soft tone: “Sorry, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I’m insulted.”
- Keep a diary. Proven: Writing lowers stress levels and helps analyze information. It’s important to use this tactic every day.
- Use your hands. Enter the room, lie on the sofa and touch your body. Gentle stroking will give you warmth and tranquility.
Best Emotion Control Technique from Coaching Expert Vladislav Radetsky
We are all living people and each of us has feelings and emotions in different situations. They can be both negative and positive, depending on how we perceive the situation.
Events in our life are not positive or negative on a universal scale, only our perception makes them so. Often, when we have certain expectations for a situation, and they are not satisfied, negative emotions arise.
It is very important to learn to notice them at the very beginning of development, when only slight dissatisfaction or irritation arises, and not when everything is seething inside you, rage flows like lava from a volcano, aggression and you destroy everything around like the Hulk. Remember, smoldering coal is easier to extinguish than a fire.
Best Emotion Control Technique 5/5/5:
- Take a deep breath for 5 counts.
- Draw in air by taking 5 more small breaths.
- Hold the air for 5 counts.
- Exhale deeply for 5 counts.
- Take 5 more short breaths, trying to get rid of all the air.
- We repeat the exercise 3 to 5 times. This will allow you to switch and take control of unnecessary emotions. Take on arms.
When it is necessary to control emotions and how to do it correctly – says business psychologist, coach Anastasia Zheludkova
Emotions can only be controlled if they are not pique, i.e. if this is anger of 10 out of 10, in fact, a person merges into an unconscious reaction, this is how our physiology works. This can happen because either previously suppressed emotions have been accumulated, or the event that occurred is too stressful.
How to control your emotions?
- Be aware of… Develop the skill of observing and recording my emotional state: what am I feeling right now? For example, fear, resentment, anxiety, disappointment, disgust, etc. When a person voices and designates emotions, he actually returns control of his state from the limbic brain to the neocortex, when they can be controlled, what we are not aware of and is not in the focus of our attention is beyond our control.
- Slow down… Count to 10, stop, start breathing slower, or start asking yourself questions: what is happening to me? What’s in my body? And what am I doing? All of this will reduce the intensity of the emotions.
- Ground… Give yourself body contact: start breathing deeply, sit on a chair, giving yourself support if you were standing (helps during fear), pat yourself physically on the body, stop if you were walking (anger intensifies active movements), etc.
- Give your emotions a safe outlet: pour out on paper, pour, draw, sing, dance, cry, in the place where you feel comfortable.
- Switch the output of emotion to constructive activity: if you are angry – do the cleaning or manual labor, very useful and effective.
- Share with other experiences: tell a loved one, a psychologist. So that emotions do not accumulate, they need to be “cast”: sports, walks, solitude, creativity are good for this. If this is not done, there will be nervous breakdowns, emotional burnout, uncontrollable outbursts of anger, depression and neurosis.
How to control emotions in a stressful situation – methods from blogger, expert of Bologny magazine, Yulia Klyukvina
Method # 1 – Get a talisman
No mysticism, simple psychology: we often turn to certain rituals, objects, actions in order to add self-confidence. For some, clothes or make-up are a kind of shield, for others – a corporate pose, and for others – a thing. Get your own “happy subject” about which you will remember every time you find yourself in a stressful situation, and then the mere thought that this subject with you will give you a charge of confidence and calmness.
A good option would be a watch or a bracelet – any thing that fastens: a closed loop helps to protect your energy field from energy vampires, that is, the very people who most often provoke conflicts and “pull” emotions out of you.
Method # 2 – Have an Imaginary Dialogue
Are you tempted to answer a street boor in his own style or put a colleague in his place with a rude word? You should not stoop to a squabble, but you cannot accumulate negative in yourself: answer your opponent, but in thoughts. He shouts hysterically, and you mentally calmly answer him with a weighty argument or a sarcastic joke. But in reality, be silent. Seeing that you do not react in any way, the brawler will be forced to retire, and you will save your nerves. By the way, this method is also good in a conversation with a teenager: if your child starts a quarrel, do not follow his lead: answer only mentally.
Method # 3 – Present your opponent in a funny light
A simple but effective way for those with a good imagination. Imagine how your opponent, for example, shrinks before our eyes and at the same time continues to scream, but in a squeaky funny voice, like a cartoon character. Or imagine him screaming in the middle of the street, but without his pants. Do you feel the anger dissipate and you want to laugh? Wonderful! Instead of a pointless quarrel, focus on creating a cartoon like this and you can avoid losing nerve cells.
Method # 4 – Get into a comfortable position and relax your muscles
If you are in negotiations or are just in the office in a stressful situation, then do not be afraid to change your position. When we sit (or stand) motionless, nervous tension gradually builds up, muscles and insides seem to stiffen, making us feel even more uncomfortable. Relaxing, sitting back more comfortably, or standing up and taking a walk can help you calm down and recharge.
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