Perhaps, in the life of every person, to one degree or another, there is envy. The differences are only in its scale and character. White and black envy – what is the difference and how to protect yourself from envious people? The psychologists of the COLADY magazine tell.
See also: How to get rid of envy?
The content of the article:
Why people are jealous – the essence and roots of envy
The habit of comparing oneself to someone else has been established since childhood. In kindergarten, we measure ourselves with toys, at school we compete in grades and outfits, and as we grow up, we strive for leadership in work, financial position, children’s success, etc.
In the process of comparing oneself with others, envy, accompanied by pride in oneself, negative emotions, anger and other manifestations…
But whatever the motive of envy, it is always a powerful factor for subsequent human actions – for creation or destruction, depending on the character, moral principles and, as they say, “to the extent of its depravity.”
The real reasons for envy and where does envy come from?
There are quite a few versions about the origins of this feeling. Some of them:
- An innate, hereditary feeling that we inherited from our ancestors along with laziness at the genetic level. Supporters of this idea believe that envy helped primitive people to strive for self-improvement.
According to scientists, the reasons for the appearance of envy are …
- Arrogance and arrogance in character.
- Fear of being a failuredo not reach the goal.
- Craving for fame, wealth and power.
- Disrespect for yourself.
- Covetousness and greed.
- A significant role in the emergence of envy is played by personal beliefs… Lack of Faith does not contribute to self-restraint when observing the Commandments, one of which says just about envy.
- Wrong upbringing. Such teaching of a child for “educational” purposes, as a comparison with other successful children, has a completely opposite effect. Instead of striving “to become better, to achieve more,” the child begins to feel flawed, and envy of other people’s successes settles in him forever.
- Another reason for envy is that we have the opportunity to observe and evaluate our life around the clock (with all the ups and downs), and as for strangers – we see only their successes or, conversely, failures… Accordingly, we cannot try on someone else’s skin. As a result, the achievements of another person, for whom these victories may have cost very serious efforts and even losses, seem to us unreasonably large and undeserved (like we do, spending a lot of energy on fulfilling another dream).
Without delving into scientific and pseudoscientific theories about the origins of envy, we can confidently declare that the cause of any envy is clearly visible.
See also: What to do if your best friend envies you?
The most important reason is dissatisfaction with your life.… In money, relationships, popularity, freedom, health, etc. Regardless of the reason, envy is a dangerous feeling.
White envy, black envy – is it harmful to envy? How to overcome feelings of envy
Any negative emotions (this has long been a proven fact) harm not only our mental, but also physical health.
- The pressure rises.
- The pulse quickens.
- The work of the digestive tract is disrupted.
- Vascular spasms occur etc.
Not to mention the fact that envy contributes to prolonged depression, as a result of which a person begins to feel completely unhappy and unlucky.
- Envy contributes to the “clogging” of our subconscious. The command “Why don’t I have this!” is perceived by the subconscious as “There was no, no, and never will be!” That is, the feeling of envy of other people’s goods programs us to a complete lack of chances in achieving any goals.
- Envy is also vampirism in both directions. Envy, we send a negative energy message to a more successful person and, at the same time, to ourselves. Only now the loss of our energy due to envy is many times greater. The more we envy, the weaker we ourselves become.
- One of the most serious dangers of envy is acting in a state of “passion.” Starting from gossip and backbiting, ending with revenge and the use of physical force.
The saddest thing about the fact that there is envy in our life is that few people think about the fight against this source of negativity. As well as the fact that envy is one of the barriers to a truly happy life.
How to distinguish black envy from white – the differences between white envy
In fact, the color of envy does not detract from its destructive properties. White and black envy is exclusively a man’s invention to justify his own feelings. Envy, as such, is colorless.
She is a source of negativity and, by definition, cannot be “white and fluffy”. “White” envy is nothing more than joy for someone’s success. In all other cases, you should not indulge yourself with illusions: if, with other people’s victories, a worm starts at least nibbling you (we don’t talk about “gnawing” at all), then this is the most classic envy. Therefore, to determine the difference between white and black envy, we will take as a basis the generally accepted concepts that black envy is a destructive force, and white does not bring any special problems to anyone. So what’s the difference?
- White envy is “trying on” other people’s achievements on oneself and lack of negative feelings. Black envy is torment, constant “itching”, pushing a person to certain actions.
- White envy – a short flashwhich goes by itself. It’s incredibly difficult to get rid of black…
- White envy promotes creativity. Black envy is aimed only at destruction.
- White envy is the engine of “progress”… Experiencing it, a person strives for self-improvement. Black envy depressing and gnawing a person from the inside… He does not want to correct anything in his life. The only desire is for the object of envy to lose what he has.
- White envy is not accompanied by hostility and anger – only joy for other people’s successes. Black envy crowds out all positive traits and feelings and drowns a person in his own negative.
- White envy is not ashamed to admit, a black man is not admitted never, never.
We can summarize with a simple conclusion: white envy is a kind of whip that spurs us on the path to success. Black envy, accompanied by hatred, kills any progress at the root. As a result, while everyone is moving forward, the envious person rolls backward or, at best, treads water, looking at more successful people.
Is envy a bad feeling? How to get rid of envy?
We cannot get rid of the envy of other people. Unfortunately, this does not depend on us. Although it is very much within our power to change our attitude to the situation. But you can and should fight your own envy. How? Of course, no one will give a magic recipe, but regaining your composure and learning how to manage your feelings is not so difficult.
- Admit the fact of envy to yourself. As long as you lie to yourself about the fact that you don’t really care about this someone else’s car (wife, travel, welfare, talent, etc.), you cannot change the situation. By admitting to yourself, you become stronger and more sincere. And on top of that, you maintain a relationship with the object of envy.
- Channel the energy of envy in the right direction. As soon as envy made itself felt, stop and think about what you are missing and what to do to achieve this goal.
- Dig into yourself. Highlight your own strengths and benefits. Develop and improve what you already have a foundation for. Remember that all people are different. One “reveals” himself in the talent of the leader, the other – in the size of the yacht, the third – in painting, etc. Strive for success in your field.
- Remember that success does not fall on anyone’s head by itself. Success is work, effort, the path to your goal. Luck is an extremely rare reason for success.
- If you fail to achieve your goal, then you are following the wrong path to it., or set the bar too high. Break one big task into several small steps.
And do not forget to ask yourself the question – “Do I even need what I envy so much?“.
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