The other day, my friend Inna shared her misfortune with me. A new employee came to their office, a young and interesting man named Oleg. As soon as she saw him, so, according to her, she immediately disappeared. But unfortunately, Oleg does not pay any attention to her and communicates with Inna as smoothly as with other colleagues, which, of course, greatly hurts her.
She had a “fix idea” for the conquest of the impregnable Oleg. In order not to achieve the opposite effect, I suggested that she act wisely and see what psychologists advise on this.
How to fall in love with any man: general recommendations
Psychologists say that you can fall in love with absolutely any man, even the most unapproachable, the main thing is to want it strongly.
Read also: 10 signs of a man in love: how to tell if a man has real feelings for you
General recommendations that must be followed:
- “Control yourself.” Men do not like scandalous and hysterical women, so in order to attract the attention of your beloved, work on your character and behavior. Learn to be calm and discreet.
You will have to work hard on this, especially if you were previously prone to conflicts and sorting out the relationship.
- Learn about his hobbies. One of the best ways to get close to a man quickly is to have the same hobby as his.
But do not forget about yourself and your hobbies, otherwise you run the risk of completely “dissolving” in your beloved, which he is unlikely to appreciate.
- Engage in self-development. This will help you become an interesting interlocutor, which will undoubtedly be another plus in your “piggy bank”.
- Watch yourself. To please a man, it is not necessary to dress and paint brightly and defiantly.
But the immutable rule is to look well-groomed and stylish.
How to make a divorce or breakup man fall in love with you
There are also separate recommendations if the object of your love is divorced. With a man who has gone through a separation from his wife, you need to be especially delicate.
Important rules to follow in this case:
- In no case do not be interested in the reason for the divorce, if a man wants, he will tell about it himself. It is advisable not to ask about your ex-wife at all.
- Gently suppress any talk about an unsuccessful marriage that arises on the initiative of a man. It is enough to listen to his story 1-2 times and then close this topic once and for all.
- Forbid yourself to condemn the former soul mate of your lover, even if she is to blame for the divorce.
If you have managed to fall in love with Don Juan, then in order to conquer it, you need to become as inaccessible as possible. And even when you achieve a relationship with such a subject, you will have to constantly keep him in suspense. He must be afraid of losing you.
Whether such a relationship is needed is up to you!
3 psychologists’ advice on how to please a man
Compliance with simple rules will help you not only to interest a man for a short time, but also to build a serious relationship with him.
Read also: “Where does love go”: 7 female tricks that annoy men
1. Watch your posture
A beautiful posture and gait is one of the hallmarks of a confident woman. They attract attention even if you are not a stunning beauty with a seductive figure:
- The back should be straight, but without tension, that is, you should not look like you “swallowed a stake.”
- Gait – even and light, without swaying or bouncing. Watch your hands while walking – do not press them against your body or swing them like a “windmill”.
A beautiful posture and gait is the first key to your lover’s heart.
2. Give him the right compliments.
Here you should be as careful as possible. It is important to know that men respond to compliments in a completely different way than women.
In the best case, a man will immediately understand that you are “breathing unevenly towards him” and can take advantage of this circumstance to his advantage. For example, for a one-time meeting.
But our task is to make him fall in love with us, and not just to spend one night with him. So forget about these phrases:
- “You look perfect!”
- “You my hero!”
- “You drive like God!”
- “You are so pumped up!” etc.
It would be more correct to use hidden praise. For instance:
- “You drive so well and I still feel insecure behind the wheel.”
- “You have a great sense of humor.”
- “Thank you for helping me figure this out, without you I would never have done it.”
As you have already noticed, compliments should not contain “puppy” delight, but should be pronounced as a statement of fact.
3. There should be a measure in everything!
After the first success, many women sin by “turning their souls inside out” with their man. Forbid yourself to be too frank, especially at the first stage of a relationship, when the feelings of a man are just beginning.
No need to talk about which “Your former Tolik is a scoundrel or how Aunt Lucy got you from the next doorway.” Such conversations will only alienate your man from you.
Inna decided to act gradually and decided to start with her posture and gait. Already today we looked for correction exercises.
Commentary by expert psychologists
Olesya Syarkina, General psychologist working in art therapy, with metaphorical cards with both adults and children
How to fall in love with a man? Here are some simple but powerful tips.
1. Flirtatiousness and lightness
No man on first dates wants to drown in problems or very abstruse conversations. Light themes, a funny mischievous smile and laughter are what will lead you to success.
2. Slightly open mouth
Remember Bella from “Twilight”. Her lips excite many men. Why? Because it’s very sexy. Open your mouth and gently touch your lips. Oddly enough, this turns men on very much, but at the same time it looks quite ordinary.
3. Play cat and mouse
Let him know that you have a busy life, and you are not building far-reaching plans on him. Make an appointment, and then suddenly reschedule it, referring to the fact that you are very busy.
4. When talking, do not use diminutive words, such as “Bunny”, “Darling”
It looks like you forgot his name. Call your future boyfriend by name and as often as possible. This shows that you respect him as a person.
5. Take more interest in him and his accomplishments
Always ask: “What do you like?”, “What do you think about this?” Be sure to ask what he is a master at. Let him talk about all the nuances and show that he is an expert in any business.
6. Don’t skimp on praise
Emphasize his masculinity, knowledge, skills. Talk about his attractiveness. Men are also very fond of compliments.
By following these simple tips, you will surely attract his attention and interest in your person.
Yana Anisimova, certified practicing psychologist
There are certain techniques that will help you fall in love with a man:
- Prolonged eye contact. Do not look away, look into the eyes. This will tell you about your interest, openness and become a memorable moment.
- Balance between not pushing and being open to communication. Do not take the bull by the horns, let the man control the process and respond to his suggestions.
- In a pickup truck, there is such a thing as an adrenaline meeting, this helps to evoke a feeling of love and passion. You can come up with a little prank that is harmless to life and reputation. Take action as appropriate.
- There are studies that prove the effectiveness of humor as a way to win over any person. Anyone who can make us laugh automatically becomes safe for us. You can laugh, or you can laugh together.
- Be interested. Ask about any things so that the person can take a position next to you from above and explain to you.
- Listen actively and don’t interrupt. It disposes people.
- If you worry a little and say it directly, it will show your sincerity and mercy.
- There shouldn’t be too many of you. Better to leave behind a feeling as if you were a little lacking.
- Refer to the man by name. People like it.
- In communication, be adequate and polite.
- There are no specific code words for men in nature, but you can not verbally show your openness and interest.
These recommendations will help to catch attention, be remembered and fall in love with yourself. But in the long run, the only advantageous position for everyone is to be themselves under all circumstances.
Karina Menshikova, practicing psychologist, specialist in cognitive-behavioral therapy
Conventionally, relations can be divided into 2 categories: serious and short-term.
If we talk about short-term flirting, then this involves sharp manipulative techniques that are far from the norms of healthy communication. In most cases, people are still interested in a long and stable relationship.
Let’s divide into the components of successful communication with a man for long-term communication:
- External factor. No, we do not divide women into beauties or ugly, it is a matter of inner self-awareness, openness to the world. Internal stiffness is reflected in gait, posture, movements and will not beautify any girl.
You can also revise your wardrobe, do you like all the things yourself? Do they reflect you? What can they tell others about you? After all, no matter how much we want to see the soul of a person, we always first of all look at his clothes.
- Competent communication. One of the most understandable communication models was developed by the American psychiatrist Eric Berne: “Parent-Adult-Child”.
In short, he said that each person combines all three roles, but usually people move in one or two.
To build a healthy dialogue, it is advisable to adhere to the adult model, when you are reasonable, adequately assess the situation and can give an independent assessment of what surrounds you.
Sometimes, in advice on how to attract a man, they write that the opposite sex loves to take care, protect a woman like a little girl, but this is far from the truth.
Capriciousness, inability to make decisions on its own, infantilism are the traits of a Child, and this, more likely, will attract a man who loves to be in the role of a Parent. Such a position certainly dooms the relationship to failure, or communication will follow a destructive path.
- The hasty transition of a woman to communication on the topic of feelings and emotions. Men need formality longer than women, discussion of general topics, weather, events. It is important to give the man the initiative to develop the emotional one himself.
It is important to remain yourself in any situation, and when attracting a man, do not forget about your life principles and rules that you are not ready to break. And he, in turn, seeing in you an integral, adult personality, will respect your beliefs, which will only strengthen his feelings.
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