There is a stereotype in society that after 35 years it is not so easy to start a relationship and you need to try very hard. And for those over 50, what should they do – put an end to their personal lives? “At forty, life is just beginning, now I know for sure.” – remember the phrase from the movie “Moscow does not believe in tears”? So, there is truth in it.
Read also: How to live a woman over 40 after a divorce – certainly happily and successfully!
I will say right away: a lot depends on the person himself – his desires, charisma, energy, presentation of himself. Believe me, after 50 you can meet a person for life.
Recently in our dating agency there was just such a case: a 56-year-old client found her love – a worthy man three years older than her. She all glows and flutters like a young girl in love. And there was a stereotype “Who needs me already?”… Needed!
Svetlana came to us in January 2021. All marriage agencies refused her, telling her from the doorway that after 45 they did not take clients. She sat on dating sites, but did not find anyone decent for herself. The latter turned out to be a gigolo from Yaroslavl, to whom she transferred 5,000 rubles for a ticket to her city, but he never arrived.
Deceived by the expectation and by various men, including her husband, with whom she lived for 25 years, she came to us. Imagine what was in her head: “I am old, no one needed, my youth has passed. Apparently, I’ll stay alone and turn into a lonely old woman “ etc.
It was difficult. She wanted a normal, serious relationship, the bar for men was high. At the same time, few people liked her. Six months later, we wanted to terminate the contract, because every time we hear “Not mine! I can’t imagine him next to me “ it was difficult. As a result, after the conversation, we decided to try for another month and if it happens again “Not mine”, then we will terminate the contract.
But our conversation influenced her greatly. A week later, she chose a man with whom they had mutual sympathy. She is 56, he is 59. They live in different cities, but in the scenarios of their lives there are a lot of similarities. They have been married for 25 years, both work in the same industry and both enjoy skiing and hiking. Now they decide where they will live.
Yes, we are not talking about 20 years, behind the back experience, or maybe more than one, relationships, including unsuccessful, adult children, their own way of life. But, if you think about it, does any of this really prevent you from becoming happy in a relationship again? No. What gets in the way is that in the head – attitudes, uncertainty, possible psychological trauma. And also fears – that it will not work, that the gigolo will be caught, that they will condemn that the new partner will not make friends with the children, etc.
In addition, at this age, a woman is already self-sufficient, she may already have her own apartment, a car, and a decent income. And she wants to meet a man to match, with common values and interests.
How can you meet at this age and, importantly, where?
First of all, let’s figure out how to do it at the age of 50+, and what exactly will help you meet a partner you like:
- Forget your age. Stop thinking that you are old for a relationship or that no one will look at you, afraid of wrinkles, children and other things that you got by 50.
- Take care of yourself. Men at any age first of all look at attractive persons. Visit a beautician, hairdresser, go for a manicure and other women’s beauty and youth procedures. You can do a lot at home yourself.
- Be interesting and versatile. This is advice in general for any age. After all, only the first glance falls on the appearance, and then to live with the personality. Read books, take courses and trainings, find a hobby (knitting, dancing, photography, design and much more).
- Try to be light and independent. You shouldn’t be obsessive “I will get married urgently, I will take it without looking”… This always scares away many or attracts gigolos, swindlers, toxic people.
And know your worth. Work on self-confidence, personal boundaries, fears, complexes, and potential trauma. Better with a psychologist.
In order for your interests with your future partner to coincide, try to visit exactly those places in which you are most interested. You can meet your destiny anywhere:
- At cultural events: exhibitions of famous artists in galleries or museums, poetry evenings, theater performances, etc. To get to know each other, you can just start a conversation or an argument about the event, and then – according to the situation.
- On offline learning: courses, trainings, seminars – now it is fashionable and prestigious, and at any age. And the chance to meet an educated person there is great. You can discuss some topics or ask for help with your “homework” – and establish an acquaintance and further communication.
- On a hike. In every city there are companies that organize similar trips out of town, to the mountains and even to the sea. On such trips, you will all get to know each other anyway. And cooking together, gathering tents, just socializing, etc. – all this will help to get closer together.
- In the country. At 45+, many are already drawn to dig in their garden far from the city. And if a man who attracts you lives in your neighborhood, then it will not be difficult to find common interests. Ask for advice on gardening, salting, cherry pie recipes, and more.
And finally, at a dating agency. Here I am already 100% speaking from the experience of my Agency. They come to me only for serious relationships and worthy partners. We introduce you purposefully – according to the stated criteria, common interests, goals, etc. It is almost impossible to miscalculate here.
Do you believe that love can be found after 50? Share with us in the comments!
Must share this useful content with your loved one's
Visit Bologny for more useful and informative articles!