Greetings! Today we will discuss a very important and necessary topic, about quarrels, because everyone is quarreling, isn’t it? However, few people know how to do it correctly.
What does it mean to quarrel with a man correctly? First of all, to avoid negative consequences in the future, and secondly, to get closer. Yes, quarrels surprisingly help couples to get closer emotionally, but only if at least one of the partners follows the appropriate instructions.
Dear ladies, in this material we do not urge you to conflict with your beloved man! But, if a showdown cannot be avoided, we recommend that you remember these simple five rules.
Rule # 1 – Understand the problem
Women, by their nature, are very emotional living beings. Often they come up with problems or come up with something that does not exist. In some cases, a conflict with a man is inflated from scratch, due to a misunderstanding.
Therefore, in order to avoid a quarrel, it will be useful to clarify whether you understood your partner correctly. Just ask him: “Did I undestand you right…?“. In most cases, a man who is not in the mood for conflict, even if he really did or said something that could offend you, will try to assure you that you have misunderstood him.
Great advice, so take it on board!
Rule # 2 – Separate Personality from Deed / Word
It is very important to be able to separate the image of a person with his situational behavior. In order not to allow anger to take over consciousness, at the moment of strong resentment against your partner, try to remind yourself why, in fact, you fell in love with him. Surely he is a wonderful person, he just did not do what you expected. Maybe you yourself provoked him into disfavor, or he was in a bad mood.
Say in your mind: “I appreciate and respect him, he just did a bad thing now.”…
Rule # 3 – Give Me a Message
This is a very important rule, so remember! When clarifying a relationship with a man, you need to send him I-signals. What does this mean? Talk about YOUR feelings to avoid blame.
For instance: “I’m offended” instead of “You offended me“,”I’m upset” instead of “You made me sad“. Talk only ABOUT YOURSELF, avoid accusing HIS words and actions.
The man to whom you send the I-message will be filled with pity and respect for you. If you start accusing him, he will take a defensive position and, most likely, will start attacking in response.
Rule # 4 – Fight like a woman
What does a woman have that a man does not have, or why do the representatives of the stronger sex subconsciously value the representatives of the weaker sex? The answer is simple – for femininity.
It is important to be yourself in any situation. Therefore, when you are forced to sort things out with a loved one, remain a woman.
What is definitely not worth doing?
- Speak hurtful words that can hurt a person’s pride.
- Remember past grievances.
What do we have to do?
- Induce self-pity.
- To portray sadness.
- Cry (if you can!).
It will not be superfluous to sweeten the bitter pill of accusations, to show wisdom by saying something like: “I am so lucky with you, I love you, but I would like so much that….“.
Why is it important? Men are by nature defenders. They feel happy when they have someone to patronize. And who can a strong man protect if not his weak, albeit offended, beloved woman? Therefore, showing weakness in a quarrel is a profitable tactic for a girl.
Important! During an argument, a man should not feel that you are attacking him. Otherwise, he will defend himself, not you.
Rule # 5 – Show Wisdom
A wise woman always analyzes everything, including quarrels. Think about why you and your partner began to sort things out, talk in a raised voice. There is no smoke without fire, is there?
Ask yourself a question: “What made my loved one say these hurtful words to me?” or “Why did he do this to me?” In such an analysis, it is important to discard emotions by “turning on” the mind.
The problems that come into the lives of married couples are always provoked by something. If you often quarrel with your partner and cannot understand the reason, it may be worth seeking help from qualified psychologists.
Bologny editorial bonus!
How to understand that you are quarreling with a man is wrong? Very simple. Analyze his reaction. You are doing something wrong if your chosen one:
- Distances from you, avoids communication.
- Falls into a stupor, does not know what to tell you.
- Shows aggression.
Love and appreciate each other!
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