The material was provided by a marriage consultant, author of books, Igor Budeikin.
– You annoy me!
“And you annoy me even more!”
– Shall we part then?
Negative emotions in a relationship: is it normal or not? Or if you feel anger and irritation, does this mean the end of love?
In fact, conflicts in a couple are completely normal, because two people who are married always have a topic for conflict and discontent. So getting angry and experiencing other negative emotions is completely natural, no relationship can do without it!
Accepting this fact already reduces irritation and anger. Next important question: if negative emotions in marriage cannot be avoided, then how to express your feelings? Picture Ideal: Get angry and fight in a way that gets closer to each other and increases the romance in the relationship. Sounds unrealistic?
COLADY Learn how to deal with negative emotions in a relationship.
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5 effective methods of “fighting” with a partner
So, you realized that the person you love annoys you. Is this really a reason to break up with him? In no case! I will teach you how to turn negative emotions into strength. To do this, remember the 5 basic laws of a CORRECT quarrel in a love relationship:
- Always start a conversation gently, even if you are angry.. If you start the conversation with the question “What have you done you idiot? further development of the situation is predictably sad.
- The correct point of view: the partner is innocent until proven otherwise. Don’t judge too fast, it’s a good start to ask: “What happened? and understand the situation. Here is an example from life: A little girl was holding two apples in her hands. Her mother entered the room and softly, with a smile, asked if she would share apples with her? The girl looked at her mother for several seconds, then suddenly took a bite of one apple and immediately after it quickly another. The woman felt a smile freeze on her face, and tried not to show her disappointment to her daughter. Oona was upset that her beloved daughter did not want to share with her. And suddenly the girl held out one of the bitten apples and said:Mom, take this, it’s sweeter!
- If you are still overwhelmed by emotions – take a breather. Pausing is the best thing to do in a state of anger. The break should be long enough so that the attitude towards the situation becomes rational and with a minimum of negative emotions, but not more than a day, otherwise the break can be perceived as a punishment. During a break, it makes sense to walk down the street, look around and remember the good qualities of the spouse, his good deeds and actions. And, of course, it is necessary to reach an agreement with each other that this is not a boycott, but a way to maintain relations.
- Refuse to clarify the relationship by correspondence. Phone and video communication with emotionally rich communication is a bad idea, since the absence of a person nearby can be misleading and complicate mutual understanding, so it is very desirable to be close to each other. Correspondence is even worse. Since messages do not convey tone, intent, or feeling, it is therefore impossible to truly understand the other’s point of view.
- Don’t put off resolving relationship problems, talk about them. Proper communication after anger, anger and conflict is extremely important. Every unresolved conflict is like a stone. Many stones = broken relationships. Therefore, it is necessary to be able to completely remove all the negative from the conflict, to honestly return relations to the pre-conflict level.
Read also: How to quarrel with a man – instructions from psychologists
There are other ways to deal with irritation and anger in a relationship. In general, conflict management in a marriage is something that everyone needs to learn in order to be in a happy relationship. Since ineptly conducted conflicts act destructively: they lead to a decrease in passion, trust, love, and as a result, to parting.
Long-term happy relationships are, first of all, the result of applying the right knowledge. Learn!
How do you deal with negative emotions in a relationship? Share with us in the comments!
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