How many women do not marry for love and without passion? The question, of course, is an interesting one, but it is worth paying attention not to the quantity, but to the reasons for such a desperate step. The main reason girls marry an unloved man is the fear of not getting married at all. If you are already over 30, then thoughts begin to spin in your head – “what if I stay alone?”
Can a marriage be happy with an unloved person? Psychologists of COLADY magazine answer.
Who gets married without love? Is there happiness in marriage with the unloved?
There may be a lot of such reasons. Here, there is a dysfunctional financial condition, and a lack of housing (usually a marriage of convenience), common children, fear of loneliness, the desire for changes in life and an excuse to run away from everything that surrounds.
So why do women get married without love? There are several reasons.
1. Marry someone you don’t love because of fear
Often it is this feeling that makes you marry someone you don’t love. Such girls are afraid to fall in love, so they allow themselves to be loved. The reasons for this fear can be different reasons: parental dislike, monotony of relationships, lack of affection and love in the family, etc. Growing up, a girl follows the path of unloving, simply ignoring her feelings. Suppressing love, you will never understand the beauty of this wonderful feeling. There is no need to be afraid to love and show love – it’s wonderful when you love and receive love in return. Get rid of this feeling so as not to be an unhappy woman who got married simply because society requires it, and not her real feelings.
2. Due to lack of self-confidence – marry an unloved
This is also a feeling that interferes with living a normal life. Uncertainty can form for several reasons:
- Lack of care, affection and warmth.
- Ignoring in childhood.
- Constant nagging and criticism.
- Unhappy love.
Uncertainty must be learned to suppress, otherwise you risk getting married out of despair. Such girls are convinced that marriage for love “does not shine” for them, which means that they need to quickly marry the one who will call.
Girls who are “lucky” to experience unhappy love feel insecure in their future life partner, so they are afraid to be left alone.
3. Marry someone you don’t love for the sake of money – will there be happiness?
Often women decide to marry not for love because of their poverty. Chasing a beautiful life, they do not care who to marry – the main thing is that he is wealthy, and love is empty. Perhaps such women will not suffer in marriage, because who is against it – to ride a luxurious car, live in a luxurious mansion and ride to the Maldives every year. Probably nobody! But think – are you happy living with an unloved man?
4. Marriage is not for love for the sake of a child, children
Some women do not marry for love because of children. For example, you met a young man whom you did not like, but you felt good with him. One fine day you become pregnant, and he, as a decent person, is simply obliged to marry you. And so, you are standing in a wedding dress at the altar, and a future child lives inside you. But, the child will not be happy that his parents got married just because he should be born.
Father will walk on the side, and mother will cry into the pillow at night from an unhappy life. Your child from such a life will feel completely guilty about everything that happened. Surely, a mother who will always worry about an unsuccessful and unhappy marriage will be able to give her child due attention, love and affection.
Commentary by sociologist Alena Dubinets
Dear women, girls, ladies!
Each of us strives to be happy, protected and loved. Ideally, to be loved by your husband. But, not everyone is lucky to experience this wonderful feeling. Some women are afraid to experience the pain of parting, so they subconsciously program themselves to fail in amorous affairs, others run away from this feeling because of internal complexes, and there are those who are simply not lucky enough to meet the ONE.
Should you marry someone you don’t love? Is a happy marriage possible without love? Nobody will give you an exact answer, but! If you feel comfortable with a man, if he created the conditions for your emotional, financial and sexual protection, he has a high chance of becoming loved by you after some time. Practice shows that passion can arise suddenly, especially if a woman trusts her husband.
The results of marriages not for love can be different – someone makes peace and falls in love, and someone runs away from such a life. Divorces bring a lot of nervous experiences and losses to both parties, and in any case it is very difficult to survive a divorce with the inevitable division of friends, property, children.
It all depends on the person himself and what will prevail in him: the need for love or feelings of fear and self-doubt. If you nevertheless decided to marry not for love, think – do you need it? It may be better to be alone than to live with the thought of an unloved man and with the torture of returning home.
Do not forget that you may have children who will also feel everything. Remember this. There is no need to be afraid to be left alone, you need to be afraid that you can “put yourself in a cage” for the rest of your life, from which it will be difficult to get out.
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