Should I take revenge on the traitor? How to behave after infidelity

  • Well, have you already prepared an insidious plan of revenge on the traitorous man?
  • Have you figured out where to kick more painfully in order to punish the deceiver?
  • Looking forward to the sweet, intoxicating taste of your retribution?

Do not hurry! I advise you to postpone these plans for now – then you will thank yourself.

I understand that you desperately want the one who betrayed you to feel the pain and disappointment that he has brought down on you. You feel overwhelmed and look for a way out in retribution.

I, Julia Lanske, love-coach number 1 in the world according to the international iDate Awards 2019, I want to show you the reverse side of revenge for treason and will give you a much more beneficial scenario for further actions with this man.

Julia Lanske
Julia Lanske – Bologny magazine expert, article author
@lanskejulia

Why won’t it help him

Your goals and motives are quite clear: you want to take revenge, make the man suffer, teach him a lesson. However, more often than not, the result of such actions turns out to be the opposite of what you planned.

Here are at least 5 pieces of evidence that revenge for treason doesn’t work:

  1. He still won’t understand how you feel. Instead of the feeling of guilt that you want to cause in a man with your revenge, you seem to justify him and lead to the realization that he did everything right.
  2. A man will not feel like a victim. Rather, on the contrary, retribution will act as a catalyst for the continuation of his riotous life and will push him even more towards other women.
  3. The score will not be equal. In general, revenge is good only in sports or competitions, when the eternal outsider defeats his hated, strong opponent. There are no winners in love. Revenge for treason will lead to two losers.
  4. Your revenge is hardly a lesson to him… This will only happen if he himself rethinks his own actions and realizes that he did something terrible. But as soon as you decide to annoy him, he will forget about self-flagellation.
  5. You will again motivate him to immoral actions.… Perhaps after that he will want to take revenge on you himself (especially if you decided to repay him with the same coin – treason).

forgive treason

Why won’t it help you too

Revenge for treason for women is an own goal. The insidiousness of revenge lies in the fact that it promises relief and pleasure, but in fact it not only does not solve problems, but also often leads to more dire consequences, from which there is no way out.

Think for yourself how retaliation can turn out for you:

  • This will shift the focus away from solving the real problems in the relationship that caused the man’s betrayal.
  • The act of retaliation will only complicate the situation, so it will reduce the likelihood of resuscitation of the relationship to zero.
  • Revenge will change your priorities and widen the emotional gap between you and your partner.
  • Even more betrayal and lies in your union is far from the best strategy to revive trust if you decide to start all over again.
  • A man’s reaction to your actions can be unpredictable. And then – who knows what his aggression will lead to.

How to behave?

If you are determined to break up with a man, then there is no point in reading the article further. Start your personal life anew, building it competently and wisely.

And if, after a careful analysis of the situation, you decide that the relationship with this man can still be restored, then catch the guide to competent actions, especially if the hands itch very much before settling with him.

  1. Give up the idea of ​​revenge. Curb your emotions and reach out to your mind. And just in case, re-read the points above.
  2. In the new volume of the history of your relationship, the fact of cheating should never be mentioned.… All this is buried in the past. Do not mention or discuss this situation with third parties. Even mentally, it will not affect anything, except for your mood and state.
  3. Reset your account. You don’t need to think that you have an advantage over a man and that this needs to be urgently corrected. If you decide to start from scratch, then start it on an equal footing.
  4. Forget about aggression… It is very difficult for an offended woman to control her anger. It results in insults, a raised tone and injections of sarcasm to the point and not. Do not forget that some of the blame lies with you. Therefore, I appeal to you to a fair attitude towards what happened: do not break new firewood!
  5. Don’t follow him. Of course, trust cannot be restored overnight. And at first, late calls, SMS and man’s delays at work will still tickle your nerves. But if you decide to give him another chance, then it is better to throw all your strength into reanimating trust, and not a new provocation for treason.

Should I take revenge on the traitor?  How to behave after a man's betrayal - advice from love-coach # 1

Focus on yourself

How funny and at the same time sad to listen to the real stories of women who took revenge on their faithful for betrayal! You are amazed at the power of female imagination and creativity. However, if you ask these women if retribution has made them happier, if it has borne any fruit, they will lie in chorus that it is.

What has been done has already been done. You cannot change the past, but you can change the future – and these changes are entirely in your hands. Most often, the root of revenge lies in internal dissatisfaction, resentment, and low self-esteem. Therefore, in order not to commit the irreparable, focus on yourself. Do everything to realize your former attractiveness and desirability. And then evil vengeful thoughts leave your head.

I think revenge for treason is childish. If you have already read to these lines, then I can confidently say that you are above this and deserve much more. The only way I find it acceptable to take revenge on a traitor is to achieve a better version of myself both externally and internally. There are cases when women, instead of killing themselves and taking revenge, took care of themselves, lost weight and became much prettier. The men were choking on their elbows! In my opinion, this is a brilliant way to make them understand what they have lost.

I, Julia Lanske, wish that infidelity would go around your relationship with a man a mile away, and that you never, ever think about your own ingredients of the most famous dish, which is served cold!

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