What to do if the boss yells – advice from a psychologist

Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky with the bosses. Often you come across such leaders who solve all problems with the help of shouting, or even foul language. What if the boss yells? How should a subordinate behave in order to save face and not lose his job? Psychologists talk.

See also: Pros and Cons of Friendship with Bosses.

Does the boss have the right to yell at subordinates?

First, you need to understand that the boss, of course, has no right to yell at you. But the law will not be able to protect the boss from shouting. Regardless – whether he is in a bad mood, a bad temper, or he just speaks “by shouting”. Therefore, there are two options – to quit or solve this problem using one of the methods proposed by psychologists.

Psychologist’s comment

What to do if the boss yells – recommendations of a psychologist

• Try to find your approach to the boss – some “tyrants” may well be corrected if a correct policy is pursued with them. Of course, this is not about sycophancy – this will not help to establish contact, but only aggravate it.
• Do not fall for provocations… Many executives love to cling to little things – from your job with the printer to looks and absences from the workplace (and no one cares what you “itch”). Maintain your dignity, even if you want to load into “this impudent face” the first thing that lies on your table.
• Of course, if you no longer have the strength to endure this outrage, you can give vent to your righteous anger… And then, on the way to the labor exchange, tell a friend or girlfriend in paints how you “made a boor”. True, you should not be too zealous – do not forget about the work book, in which there may be a dismissal at all of their own free will…
• The tit-for-tat option will not work either. To be rude in response, to poke the boss with his nose at his mistakes, appearance and lateness, yell at him and slam doors – a tactic that was initially doomed to failure. No chef will tolerate such an attitude. Even if you are a pro and do the job better than anyone else, overfulfilling all plans for the year ahead. Therefore, temper your ardor – such “star wars” can end only with your departure from work, and with dismissal under the article.
• It is also not necessary to fall on your knees, pray for forgiveness and publicly regret what you have done. Forgiveness, of course, will be granted to you, but they will understand that you can wipe your feet on a regular basis.
• When the boss starts yelling, the best thing you can do is let him “roar”… Let the steam blow off. Do not answer him until the moment when he is not able to adequately listen to you.
• If you are wrong, calmly admit your mistake.… Then, in the same even tone, inform the boss that there was no need for such a harsh tone in relation to you. See also: Excuses for the boss when you are late for work.
• If you want to find out the relationship with this “parasite”, then in no case don’t give your boss a public spanking… Choose a confidential environment and his mood. It is clear that when he “waves his sword” to the right and to the left, this is not the best moment for a frank conversation.
• Don’t put conditions on your boss. Like – “if you bark at me at least once, then I will quit.” First, it won’t work. And secondly, it will work the other way around.

• It is possible and necessary to ask the chief “to moderate the ardor”, but – politely and firmly… Of course, there are enough tyrants who love sycophancy and cannot stand those who demand respect for themselves. But, for most of them, the leaders are quite adequate people, for whom a subordinate with his own opinion and dignity is more valuable than the one who creeps on the carpet, kissing the heels of the boss.
• Revenge on the chef – from the smallest dirty trick to global actions that can shake his reputation or just harm – the very last thing. First of all, it is your reputation that will suffer from this. The second is your resume.
• If a shout for the boss is an offensive phenomenon, but rare (according to the mood), then be condescending… We are all human, we all have flaws. You never know what reason he has for such a mood – the child is ill, family problems, etc. Naturally, this is not pleasant, but it is absurd to quit work or rush to the embrasure when you can ignore a purely emotional “slap in the face” deaf ear.
• But if the chef’s cry has become a pattern (especially when it concerns the entire state, and not just you personally) – this is already a reason for a serious conversation with your superiors or for dismissal.
• The easiest method to nullify conflict is method “smile and wave”… That is, to admit his mistake, nodding, to promise to improve in the near future and, “shaking off” other people’s emotions, to continue working. The chef will calm down faster if you don’t make excuses, get nervous and defend yourself.
• How to abstract away? Imagine in your boss’s shoes what makes you smile. For example, mentally put on your boss fins, a helmet and put a pot of cactus in your hands. Or shove it into a big promotional plush hot dog. In general, include imagination. Just do not overdo it – laughter in the chef’s face during his angry rebuke will clearly end up not premium.
• Do not be silent. There are neutral phrases for such cases – “yes, I will know – I did not take into account”, “I did not come across before, now I will remember” or “the experience is new to me – I will continue to know.”
• Be careful. If you are reprimanded for being late, too bright makeup or an order not finished on time, then you should not repeat your mistakes.
• Be confident in yourself. Never gossip, do not discuss your boss, colleagues and your personal life with anyone in the office, do not stoop to flattery and do not show your weaknesses. Work for your credibility and reputation.
• Don’t let yourself be ridden, remember your rights. You cannot be forced to work overtime, you are not allowed to be insulted or to arrange regular public fights – remember your sense of dignity. Sometimes a polite, but cold rebuff has a sobering effect on the boss. In any case, he will know that using you as a whipping boy will not work.
• Understand the reasons for this attitude of the boss. It is possible that these are really your mistakes or wrong attitude to work. The other reasons are personal dislike (it is easier to quit here), a new person in line for your place, the boss’s bad mood. In any case, a heart-to-heart conversation (tete-a-tete) will not hurt. And no one will fire you for simply asking (in private) – “and what, in fact, our dear boss Ivan Petrovich, is the reason for your not the warmest feelings for me?” Also read: 10 surefire ways to improve your relationship with your boss at work.