Why does a husband walk and what to do – advice from psychologists to the wives of walking husbands
According to statistics, 4 out of 5 men walk away from their wives. And only 1 of these 4, again, according to statistics, comes across for treason. The statistics are disappointing, but we are not talking about that terrible betrayal, after which the marriage collapses, but about systematic “walks” without which a man cannot (or does not want) to exist.
So, the husband walks – “where to run” and how to behave?
The content of the article:
- How do you know that your husband has started walking?
- Reasons why my husband walks
- How to behave when my husband is out walking?
- How to prevent my husband from walking?
How to find out that a husband has started to walk – all the secrets and passwords of a walking husband
Naturally, the very first sign that a spouse has begun to walk is anxiety in the soul of his faithful. Everything seems to be in order, in the usual rhythm, but something is wrong.
There is a persistent feeling that something is happening behind your back, and your husband continues to pat you on the shoulder, annoyingly reporting – “everything is fine.”
And then other “symptoms” begin to appear:
- A sudden attentiveness to one’s appearance. For high-quality underwear, socks without holes, the scent of perfume with a brutal train, a new style of clothing, etc.
- The smell of the man himself changes. And it’s not about someone else’s female scent on his clothes, but about the new scent of her husband, which usually changes upon close contact with another woman.
- Family relationships are changing. There is a certain detachment and even indifference in communication, interest in what is happening in the family is lost, sometimes irritation and nervousness arise.
- Intimate relationships are becoming less common, if not reduced to nothing., turning into “passed the watch, took over the watch” or “plowed the shift at the plant.”
- The daily routine and food addictions change.
- New manners appear, new intonations in the voice, habits and words that suddenly came from nowhere.
- Money from the family budget is flowing in an incomprehensible direction. It is quite possible that the spouse is simply saving up for a gift, and it is stupid to panic, but if this sign appears at the same time as the rest, then you will clearly not like the “gift”.
- Delays at work until late hours and sudden business trips are becoming “the norm.” And on weekends, he must have urgent matters (fix the car, visit an old aunt you don’t like, go to the gym, etc.).
- The “mobile phone” is no longer lying around the apartment – now it is always next to the spouse. And, most likely, password-protected. Like the husband’s pages on social networks, e-mail, etc. When making calls and sms, the spouse behaves nervously, and talking to “Tolyan” or “Michal Petrovich” leaves for the stairs or into another room.
Well, about clear one hundred percent signs and needless to say. If someone else’s lipstick is on a shirt, smells of women’s perfume, ladies constantly call “at work” or, God forbid, a gynecologist stunned you with positive results for diseases that do not occur in people who are faithful to each other – there is no doubt.
Naturally, one sign from the list does not mean anything yet. And even 2-3 “symptoms” can be just a coincidence, not a clinical picture. Therefore, do not panic ahead of time and do not bring your spouse to sin with groundless tantrums.
Maybe he works tirelessly at night and on weekends to travel with you to the Maldives or arrange a super-surprise for your wedding anniversary.
And the phone with the computer was password-protected so that you would not see his preparations for the holiday. Why not?
The reasons why the husband walks – is the wife always to blame?
Many women face a problem called “the husband walks”. In some families, this problem leads to divorce, in others – to a new round of marital relations.
But, before deciding what to do, you should understand the reasons.
- You filed it down. A man always escapes from his saw-wife in search of an easy and trouble-free relationship. Even if not for long, it is purely stress to relieve, but it is necessary. You need to understand that if you eat your beloved’s brain every day with a teaspoon, then over time he will “lubricate the skis” to a sweet calm laugh, which will not load him with anything except borscht and cabbage rolls with sour cream.
- By the way, about borscht. The second reason is the unwillingness of the spouse to take care of the house. He comes home from work, and you have a “creative mess”, floors unwashed for a month, his unwashed and not ironed shirts, and a mouse hangs itself in the fridge. Although money for groceries is allocated to you on a regular basis. Of course, a man will get tired of the constant “let’s have dinner in a cafe today”, “I’m sorry, I can’t sew on a button – the manicure is drying up” or “Mom will clean up on the weekend, she loves it”.
- You do not satisfy him in bed. Well, that also happens. And relaxation is needed. So … Or, as in the saying “soup is soup, but still sometimes you want a borschik” (that is, sexually novelty).
- He asserts himself. A sort of alpha male, who simply needs “partying” on the side, so as not to lose his “male form”. Without adventure, “alpha” cannot, and the name of such men in the people is simply – males.
- He has lost interest in you. Because you are always walking around with cucumbers on your face, in an old dressing gown, ancient slippers and washed linen. And he wants that you smelled like cornflowers, met him from work in stockings and high heels, kissed him predatory before leaving and generally behaved the way they behave in the candy-bouquet period.
- He has money or work problems. And you are not able to understand and caress him, saying “yes, all this is nonsense, we will handle it.” Just shout that you need to buy a new tap and that you are tired of this boiled sausage and old coat.
- He has such a period when “gray hair in a beard.” This will likely go away quickly (if you happen to be a wise woman).
- You are too busy with children and you cannot recover after giving birth.
- He wants you to be jealous of him. Tries to get your attention and revive old feelings between you.
How to behave when the husband is walking – psychologist’s advice to the wives of walking men
First of all, of course, it is worth talking to your husband.
No, you don’t need to wait with a frying pan, roar like a beluga and set ultimatums – too. The conversation should be calm and sincere, and only if you have 100% proof of his guilt, as well as a desire to save the marriage.
If there is no such desire, there is nothing to talk about, you can safely file for divorce.
If you are not going to let your husband go, then read on …
- A wise woman can close her eyes to her husband’s “spree”if these partying does not harm the family and the relationship with the wife. Partying parties can be practically harmless – at the level of flirting: this is how he asserts himself and proves to himself that he is still an “eagle”, and not your well-fed domestic goose.
- Do not stoop to tantrums and scandals. If you decide to step on your throat and go through this period next to him, then behave not like a beaten dog, but like a self-sufficient woman. Let him be jealous and afraid of losing you. Just don’t get carried away! Responsive “partying” will lead to a break in relations.
- If the reason is you, change. Not for a day, but radically. This, of course, is not only about your hair, manicure and your smile in the morning. Remember who you were when you started dating, and compare with the one you see in the mirror now. What has changed in you, in you, in you?
How to prevent my husband from walking anymore?
Family happiness is a fragile “thing”. Families are built by hard daily work from year to year, with hardships, compromises, worries, etc., and sometimes collapse in seconds. And then it is very painful to flip through joint photos and regret that I did not take a step forward, did not give in, blurted out too much, could not forgive.
Does it happen that the husband does not go for a walk? Oddly enough – yes. “Axioms” about the polygamy of men are tales of unwise women or dissolute men who were not lucky enough to meet their love.
- Do not turn into a brooding hen, which, apart from babies, sees nothing. Yes, it’s hard when the kids are small (and big too), but your husband also wants attention. It is better to give him half an hour before you collapse facedown into the pillow than to listen to the snort of his offended pride later in the morning.
- Don’t forget about intimate relationships. They need to be refreshed and updated regularly. Ways – a wagon and a small cart. Surprise your husband, saturate with love so that he does not even want to look around. A well-fed (in every sense) man will go home after work, and not for a party.
- Watch yourself. Is always. You even have to look like a magazine cover girl at home. And first of all, you need it yourself.
- Make a rule for yourself: never look into his pockets, phones, wallets, laptop. Just don’t look in, that’s all. Imagine that he has secret documents on work everywhere and calm your curiosity forever. Thus, you will save yourself from unnecessary stress and unexpected “finds”, which it is better not to know about.
- Do not cut off oxygen to your husband! Stop interrogation with partiality, hysterics about being half an hour late, etc. Instead of “where have you been, you brute?” can you ask “do you warm up the soup, dear?”. And if he, tired after work, looks like a zombie and does not want to discuss your new cheese grater, you do not need to slam the door and run away in tears – open a bottle of wine, turn on a good movie and tell your husband how handsome you are, a breadwinner and just well done.
- Take an interest in your husband’s life. Support him. Be him, too, a support, a “shoulder” (if necessary), and sometimes a “vest” (men sometimes also want to sit over a “cup of tea” and throw out everything that has boiled over). The mistress wife and the mistress wife are 50% of success, and the friend wife is almost 100%.
- Always solve all problems at once and peacefully. Don’t hoard them and look for a compromise. Get used to looking for a middle ground so that both are good. Well, know how to give in when a compromise is impossible.
- Don’t turn your spouse into a workhorse or part of the interior. A man must remain a man. Is that why you fell in love with him? Well then, let him be himself. There is no need to cut him, break him, re-educate him, etc. Who is a real man and what should he be able to do?
And – advice “for the road”:
Do not completely dissolve in a man. Never. No matter how much you doted on him, remain a self-sufficient and independent woman. You should not depend on his mood, financial situation, etc.
Life is unpredictable and there are different cases. If one day he says to you – “I’m leaving”, then it will be quite difficult to gather yourself together, given that you are all dissolved in him alone.
So leave yourself just a little bit.
Have you had similar situations in your family life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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