3 effective techniques from a psychologist

Each of us has a friend who is sorely unlucky. She is, as they say, a good specialist and a wonderful companion, but she is always left with nothing. And at work he is bypassed with a raise and a salary, and he chooses completely inappropriate candidates for family life. And, most importantly, he constantly repeats his mistakes, which are obvious to everyone around him, but not to him. Such a person does not know how to use the chance that fate gives him. What’s the matter and how to get out of the vicious circle?

Most often, this situation is associated with low self-esteem. A person believes that he has no right to anything good, and this attitude comes from childhood and eventually becomes an unconscious life program.

Psychologist COLADY will tell you how to raise self-esteem using psychological techniques.

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem: 3 Effective Techniques

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Working with self-esteem takes time and the right mindset. It will not be possible to solve the problem “on a swoop”: it is necessary to stock up on perseverance and patience.

To perform psychological exercises, you need to prepare:

  1. Allocate time for yourself: 40 minutes or an hour is enough, free from household chores and thoughts about work. It is better to warn relatives in advance and turn off the phone.
  2. Before starting the practice, relax, get rid of muscle tension and obsessive thoughts.
  3. only regular practice will be successful. The exercises are repeated for a month or longer, the first results appear after a few weeks.

The first therapy sessions may not be very successful – no need to get upset and retreat. Low self-esteem has been forming for years, it will take a long time to change the situation.

You might be interested in: Mindful breathing: an effective practice for awareness of yourself and your own body

Practice 1. “Words of a loving person”

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The exercise is aimed at removing internal blocks, realizing your own desires.

The first attempt is best done in front of a mirror. Imagine someone who treats you well, loves and appreciates you (relative, close friend, admirer). Remember his words addressed to you, good deeds, wishes. Try to think of and pronounce a few phrases on his behalf.

Then, while looking at yourself in the mirror, say a short monologue:

“Hello, my dear (dear)! You, as always, look great, you remain a kind and bright person, which means that everything in your life will be the way you want it. I wish you good luck, joy. You have the right to … ”

After that, list your most cherished desires: love and family, freedom from everyday routines, professional achievements, a vacation in a picturesque corner, a house or a cozy apartment. At first, the wishes will sound feigned and fake, but after a few repetitions you will be able to get used to the role. After that I record the message on my phone camera and review it several times during the day.

You can make amendments to the wish list, but, most importantly, analyze your dreams and record that at the moment we are living, in general, someone else’s life. This exercise frees you from imposed goals, helps you realize your right to happiness and get rid of external pressure.

The exercise is repeated for one to two weeks.

Practice 2. “Forgive ourselves for mistakes”

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The technique calms, removes acute internal conflicts. With the help of exercises, it is easier to accept yourself, come to terms with your own shortcomings, get rid of excessive demands on your character and actions.

Remember some traumatic event in your life: the moment when you were, as they say, not up to par. Surely you have repeatedly remembered this, criticized yourself for wrong actions, and meanwhile your self-esteem gradually decreased.

Try to accept that old situation and forgive yourself for mistakes. Try to turn failure into an ordinary life episode that can happen to everyone, not just to you because of your irreparable shortcomings.

This can help relieve tension and guilt that fuel low self-esteem. It is helpful to work through the most painful memories and let them go.

Practice 3. “I’m great!”

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Start keeping a diary and write down your usual activities related to professional duties, communication with other people, household chores. For instance:

  • Did the exercises.
  • I made breakfast.
  • Dressed nicely.
  • I did not pay attention to the manipulations of colleagues.
  • I entered into a new contract with a new client.
  • I ate an apple instead of a bun.
  • I helped my grandmother to transfer money at an ATM for her granddaughter.
  • I read 20 pages of the book.
  • I went to bed in time.

Analyze the results at the end of the day. Most of the time, most of the tasks are completed successfully. Failures account for only one or two events, which means that there is no reason for frustration.

The exercise proves that there is no real reason to be disappointed in yourself. Low self-esteem is an attitude imposed from the outside, beneficial to someone from the inner circle. Most often these are parents, other close relatives, toxic friends and partners. It is worth thinking about changing the environment, and if this is impossible, it is better to limit communication with “stuffy” people. This practice is carried out for 2-3 months.


Low self-esteem is the cause of many psychological problems. Wrong perception of oneself leads to stress, problems in communication, isolation on oneself. A person with low self-esteem cannot fully reveal himself in life, does not realize his capabilities and abilities. Psychotherapy will help relieve the acuteness of the problem and get rid of unnecessary worries.

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