How to get out of conflict at work and stay on top

Conflicts at work are a fairly common occurrence, due to which relationships with colleagues or a manager absolutely do not work out. Let’s look at typical examples to understand the basic rules for dealing with conflicts.

Psychologist COLADY told how to get out of the conflict at work and stay the winner at the same time.

The content of the article:

Conflict at work with a manager

One of my acquaintances, a rather friendly person, said that at work he had a conflict relationship with his boss.

Kirill is a sales manager. And until recently, he had good sales figures, due to which he was listed among the leaders.

But one day the management of the company made a rotation and changed the head. This negatively affected the performance of the department and the behavior of individual employees.

The boss unreasonably clings to Kirill for any reason, constantly gives impracticable orders and then publicly insults. An acquaintance of Cyril says that the purpose of such behavior is the desire of the boss to get him out of his place of work in order to appoint his own person.

You might be interested in: How to control your emotions if you are provoked into a conflict – 11 practical tips from a psychologist

After listening carefully to Kirill, I suggested that he choose the next line of behavior.

In the transition to personalities, the leader makes a mistake. An underdeveloped emotional intelligence is seen in his behavior. Therefore, he will constantly take advantage of his privileged position and make people ridiculous. Quite often, because of such a leader in the team, relations between employees deteriorate, which has a negative impact on performance.

In this situation, we can recommend Cyril – to develop his intellect and learn how to cope with manipulation.

Thus, he will be able to get out of the negative influence of the boss, and all problems will be left aside. If these attempts do not bring the desired result, then the most effective way will be to change jobs.

Conflict of interest at work with a colleague

I would like to share the story of my friend Svetlana.

She worked in a jewelry salon for 5 years. The shift consisted of four employees who had known each other for a long time and trusted each other.

But one day one of the girls went on maternity leave and was replaced by a new employee. She immediately took leadership positions in the department, while disliking Svetlana. Setting colleagues against my friend, she found all sorts of flaws in her work, although she herself was far from ideal.

Read also: 30 ways to put a boor in his place

Svetlana had the best performance at work, so she was not worried about her future, but gradually the girl began to notice that her friends shunned her, did not invite her to dinner. She became worried about this and shared with me.

This situation is standard for any women’s team. The new employee saw a competitor in Svetlana and made every effort to switch attention to her person. And Svetlana’s work began to be displayed in an unattractive light.

To change the situation, first of all, you need to talk to the newcomer, and if nothing changes, to the management. Because the negative in the team can affect the final results of the work. If you remain silent, then the situation can go too far and lead to unpredictable consequences.

Conflict situation with the client

Let’s consider another interesting situation. I was approached by a 25-year-old guy named Andrey.

The company where he worked was awarded a contract to carry out work on the SEO promotion of the site. The project manager on the part of the customer was Andrei’s acquaintance, who in childhood mocked him. By transferring that moment to the “modern rails”, he in every possible way interfered with the normal work process. In conclusion, stating that he does not want to sign the certificate of completion until Andrei completes one more task.

The whole piquancy of the situation lies in the fact that in Andrey’s memory there are scenes of conflicts from the past. He needs to put it aside and try to concentrate on the main thing.

For this you need:

• have a tough talk with the offender and set him up in a business-like manner;
• cite penalties from the contract as arguments;
• make it clear that he is not going to be almond.

Seeing this attitude, the project manager will immediately change his behavior and communicate normally.

How to handle conflicts at work

In any emerging conflict, you should not blame yourself, but rather carefully analyze everything and think over a plan of action. The following steps are recommended:

1. See a psychologist or a conflict specialist. This will help you make an informed and objective decision. At the moment of conflict, you have a state of passion, which prevents you from adequately assessing the situation, which can sometimes aggravate the situation.
2. Stay calm at all times. Nothing should throw you off balance. It is necessary to treat everything neutral and be extremely polite. If you do not know the answer to a clearly posed question, take a break to think. For instance, “Give me time as I need more information to make a decision.”
3. There is no need to discuss the actions of third parties. This is incorrect and can be used against you in the future.
4. An authoritative mediator often plays an important role in a conflict. You can win him over to your side, but you need to have weighty arguments in reserve.

How to react correctly in conflict situations – recommendations of psychologist and business coach Natalia Laikacheva

Conflicts at work are a fairly frequent phenomenon and have a negative impact not only on relationships in the team, but also on the company’s profit. In the course of the conflict, the motivation for work decreases, employees who are directly or indirectly involved in the conflict experience stress that affects their productivity or leads to the termination of the work process. Project managers have been found to spend 1/5 of their time resolving conflicts (Thomas, 2009; Aula et Siira, 2010).

So how can you respond in order to extinguish the conflict and remain the winner, and not become another warring party?

1. Solve conflicts in a separate office. The rest of the employees should not be witnesses of this process.
2. Listen carefully to each side, staying neutral and not letting employees interrupt each other.
3. Check with each of the parties, the violation of which interests and goals led them to a conflict.
4. Evaluate the received data. There are situations when both parties attribute opposite beliefs to each other, although in reality all the disagreements arose from different interpretations of the same event.
5. Involve the conflicting parties in a joint rational study of the problem and different points of view on it.
6. Jointly determine the behavior of each of the parties to achieve the identified interests and goals.
7. Check if there is anything unresolved that will continue the state of conflict. Emotional tension often diminishes when people feel they are being heard and want to understand. And the 7 steps above will help your employees look at the problem in a rational way and get back to effectively performing their job duties.

How to extinguish a conflict in a women’s team – comment by business lady Irina Yanushina

I manage a team of girls, so I come across the topic of women’s conflicts on a regular basis.

The recommendations differ slightly depending on how the conflict occurs: verbally or by correspondence. Verbal conflict is always more difficult, since not everyone can cope with emotions, hide the current mood or quickly figure out how to answer correctly, give weighty arguments and facts.

How to solve a conflict in a female team:

1. If the situation does not require a momentary solution, and there is an opportunity to take a break in replies (in particular, in correspondence), it is better to use this opportunity so as not to respond “with a blaze of heat”. Cool it down, take a walk, have a coffee, think, calm down. Then answer.
2. You need to speak calmly, in a confident tone, in a lower voice, it is more convincing for the interlocutor. You also need to write as correctly as possible, without exclamation marks and words in capital letters.
3. Thoughts need to be expressed clearly and concisely, try not to give vent to emotions.
4. In a conflict / dispute, you need to use only facts, convincing arguments, examples, figures, graphs, visual evidence (correspondence, for example) and so on. No unreasonable assumptions and conjectures.
5. It is only necessary to resolve this conflict, and not 10 more previous ones. “But, a week ago you did this and that” – it was necessary to talk about this a week ago, now it’s too late. Do not mention this unless it is your argument or evidence.
6. Never get personal, do not forget, you are at work, do not insult, do not humiliate your opponent, do not raise your voice, do not be nervous and you certainly do not need to cry.

Your worthy behavior in the conflict will help to resolve it as soon as possible, possibly earn credibility and supporters, and ultimately remain a winner.

Conflict management is a useful skill

All these examples show that conflicts in the workplace will not go away on their own. Steps must be taken to protect yourself, and in some cases, to protect your comrade. For these methods to be effective, the main thing that needs to be done is to direct your actions in the right direction.

If your attempts to change the situation do not lead to the desired result, then you need to change the place of work, since nerves are more expensive. Either way, it will be an important experience, and it will be easier for you to deal with a similar problem in the future.

If you are a qualified professional who is appreciated and respected, you will always be in demand wherever you are. You need to know your worth. People around you will immediately notice and will be interested in your opinion and respect it.