Olga Mayakova on how to combine career and motherhood
Olga Mayakova is a mother of many children. Work experience on TV – over 20 years. Scriptwriter of the projects “Legends of Cinema”, “Secret Folder” and “Nefakt” (TV channel “Zvezda”).
Guest author on the channels “Russia 1”, “RT”, “Friday”, “Doctor”. In the past, the host of the youth program “Under 16 and Older” (Channel One).
Prize-winner and winner of the All-Russian media competition “Patriot of Russia”. Lecturer at the Faculty of Journalism at the Institute of Film and Television GITR.
In the modern world, the birth of children does not become an obstacle to the development of young mothers, and many successfully combine motherhood and work.
Today Olga Mayakova is a popular screenwriter, author of documentaries and four times her mother agreed to share with Bologny readers how to raise children and build a career at the same time.
Interviewer – journalist of the magazine Bologny Evgeniya Babina.
Bologny: You became a mom in your fourth year at university. How did you manage to combine study and a small child, and later on, work?
Olga Mayakova: When the eldest daughter Rita was born, I studied in the evening department, my grandmothers were alive, and they replaced me when I went to university. I remember when I was on maternity leave, I passed the exam ahead of schedule, because it was wildly boring at home.
None of my children got in the way of my career. I was never faced with a choice: family or work, because for me it is impossible not to work. Even if I had a children’s football team, I would still be doing what I love. I really love my profession.
Bologny: You have four children: the youngest daughter is not even three years old. At the same time, you are the author of documentaries, screenwriter of programs for federal channels, and you teach at the Institute of Cinema and Television of the State Institute of Theater and Television. Olga, what principle should a woman adhere to in raising children if she wants to build a career?
Olga Mayakova: It is very important not to build a child into a cult. Some women, with the advent of children, try to adjust their usual way of life for the baby.
They turn off the ringing on the phone; give the dogs away because they make too much noise; take televisions to the kitchen so that the child can sleep peacefully; They do not go anywhere, because they are afraid to bring down the baby’s regime.
Young mothers forget about the simple – their children will be happy only when they themselves are happy. This child appears in a woman’s life, and not vice versa.
If you like to invite guests, watch movies in the evenings and travel often, then your kids will definitely get used to it. They will learn to sleep not in absolute silence, they will have fun with your friends and will take all the trips calmly, because they will have no other choice (laughs). Live the way you used to live only with a child!
Bologny: Can a child become an obstacle to a woman’s development?
Olga Mayakova: Only the woman herself can become an obstacle to the development of a woman: neither her husband, nor relatives, nor even more so children. If a person wants to work and he loves what he does, he will do it no matter what.
If a woman does not want to develop, then there are sure to be thousands of reasons for this: a difficult restless child, a husband who requires 5 dishes for lunch.
On the other hand, there are women who do not want to build a career. They are engaged in housekeeping, children, completely devote themselves to the family. Being a housewife or working is a choice.
How a woman’s life develops depends on the woman herself. A child is not a disease or a reason not to develop.
Bologny: Are you worried about not always getting enough time for your children? What do you say to yourself at such moments and how do you advise all mothers to cope with this feeling?
Olga Mayakova: It happens, and the more children I have, the more often this feeling comes. Sometimes I finish writing the script and think that at that time I could read a fairy tale to a child, or I remember how one summer the children and dad went on vacation, and I was pregnant in China on the set in the taiga.
Sometimes I get very worried, but if at times I am very busy with work, then then I try to compensate for this for the children with joint trips: to the zoo, to the cinema or to a cafe.
The problem is that I can’t do it any other way, I won’t come out of my home mom. I understand this perfectly and try not to scold myself.
I came up with one recipe that can help working mothers: integrate children into your life as much as possible. My oldest daughter and son: 18 and 12 years old. After a working day, we can stop by a cafe to eat rolls and chat.
The youngest son is 5. He really likes to come to my work, I often take him to exhibitions or to inspect locations for filming. Of course, until a certain age it will not be possible to take children with you, but when the child becomes older, it is possible.
You need to understand that children do not evaluate the amount of time spent with you, they have no function in their heads “Calculate how many hours my mom spends with me”… The quality of the joint pastime is more important.
And over the years, I realized: it is important for a child that his mother devotes a certain amount of time only to him. Not brothers and sisters together, but only he read a fairy tale or only went for a walk with him. Let it be an hour or 15 minutes a day, but the child needs it.
Bologny: You often share photos on social media from family trips, television work, and college. Your life is already full of events, but in this years you began to take ballet lessons and entered graduate school. Olga, share your secrets, where do you get the energy for all this?
Olga Mayakova: You know, my husband thinks I’m not an energetic person at all. I will never run in the morning or go to the fitness room, if the opportunity arises, I choose to lie on the couch (laughs).
For me, energy is about desire. It is very difficult for me to force myself to do what I don’t want to do. You need to choose a job and a hobby for love, then you will not get tired, and you will have enough energy for everything.
Bologny: What is important to understand for a woman who wants to combine family and work?
Olga Mayakova: Behind the realization of a woman with a child there is always some kind of rear in the person of her husband, grandmothers, grandfathers or a nanny. It is impossible to raise four children and work alone at the same time.
Two-thirds of my success is, of course, my spouse. My parents and my husband’s have already died, so we have no one to ask for help. We try to share responsibilities as much as possible, for example, the spouse takes the children to school and to kindergarten in the morning, and I pick them up in the evening. I am very grateful to my husband for letting me be realized and supporting me in everything.
Bologny: What if a woman wants to build a career, but her husband does not let her do it?
Olga Mayakova: If a woman wants to work and her husband is against it, her husband needs to be changed.
There is no problem only if the woman herself wants to stay at home. She is satisfied that her husband brings money, the apartment is in perfect order, and dinner is always ready.
And if a girl wants to build a career, she feels unfulfilled and unhappy, and her husband does not hear her and insists on his own – probably it is worth leaving. Of course, first you need to talk, explain your position and try to convince your husband.
Bologny: How can a woman combine work and motherhood?
Olga Mayakova: A woman should clearly plan her time: write in her diary about work, home and pastime with her family.
When you manage to organize your day in such a way as to understand what actions you need to perform today, then multitasking will cease to be stress. All things will be done at a calm pace, and there will even be time for yourself.
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